Archive for December, 2007

It’s Dog Eat Dog – Even In The Bathroom

posted by Momo Fali on December 31, 2007

Our family is a competitive bunch. Years ago, before we had started dating, my husband and I worked in the same office. But, instead of getting files off our desks, we would race each other to see who could finish the daily crossword puzzle first. Usually, I won. Okay, I admit that I cheated by calling my Mom fairly often…but hey, a win is a win.

My husband hates losing so much that I once saw him chuck his club into a creek on a putt-putt course. And, when he coached our daughter’s t-ball team a few years ago, and they lost their first game…well, it wasn’t pretty at our house afterward. Though, he at least waited until our daughter walked out of the room before he said he was so mad that he felt like throwing something. His mood actually rises and falls with the score of his fantasy football team.

The latest competitive activity in our house is Speed Stacks. If you haven’t seen it, you should watch this. Not only do you need dexterity and coordination, you need to be fast. They don’t include a timer for nothing. As of now, our daughter is the quickest, but we’re gaining on her. Well, my husband is. I can’t cheat my way to winning this.

Apparently, our five year old son is starting to take after his Dad. Because the other night, our boy stopped playing, grabbed at his pants, and as he ran to the bathroom, he yelled, “I’m going to go pee! TIME ME!”

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She Wasn’t Much Bigger Than A Butterfly

posted by Momo Fali on December 28, 2007
Tomorrow is my daughter’s ninth birthday. Unlike a lot of parents, I can’t look back on the day of her birth as the happiest day of my life. Instead it was terrifying. Terrifying, because tomorrow is December 29th, and she was due March 10th. I went to the hospital for a routine ultrasound and my doctor didn’t let me leave.
To say the least, the experience wasn’t all sunshine and butterflies. Okay…I’m not saying labor and delivery is sunshine and butterflies. It’s more like torture and gore. But, at least if you deliver a full-term baby you have a pretty good idea whether or not your kid is going to live. When you have emergency surgery, more than ten weeks too soon, and your 2 lb. 9 oz. baby is whisked away to have a breathing tube put down her throat, you’re not real sure what the future holds.

One of her preemie diapers.

She didn’t wear the apple…it’s just to give perspective.

We were some of the lucky ones. After five weeks, and after gaining a pound-and-a-half, we brought her home. That teeny, tiny baby? Well, she was a fighter. That sure hasn’t changed much, though now she mostly just fights with her brother. She’s nine, going on nineteen.

We still can’t be sure of what the future holds, but one thing’s for sure…this sweet daughter of mine is (aside from that fighting with her brother stuff) pure and unequaled perfection. Her heart is so big, I don’t know how it fits in her chest. And, though the day of her birth was the scariest day of my life, she’s given me sunshine and butterflies ever since. Happy birthday baby girl!

I’ll Stick To My Own Unfulfilled Resolutions

posted by Momo Fali on December 26, 2007

I just finished reading the latest copy of U.S. News & World Report. This is simply one indication of my age. Not only do I read it, I subscribe to it. I am old.

The cover story in this latest issue is 50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2008. Here are a few of their suggestions…and what I think of them.

1. Try open water swimming.
Just a few days ago, I read about Vibrio Vulnificus, a bacteria found in salt water which can invade any open sore on your body and lead to amputations and death. Open water swimming? I think not.

2. Cut back on corn.
Had they said this would improve the life of my sewer line, I might have bought it.

3. Waltz your way to better fitness.
And where exactly will I find someone to waltz with? Unless Tony Romo was his dancing partner, my husband would rather stick hot needles in his eyes.

4. Give a healthcare giftcard.
This seems nothing more than a slap in the face. “Hi. You seem old, sick and frail and I doubt you’ll be around to blow the candles out on your cake next year. Here’s a little something to help pay those doctor bills. Oh, and happy birthday!”

5. Read an international newspaper.
I have a hard enough time reading what the American media has to say, do I really need to cross a border for more of the same?

6. Get a raise.
Oh! Okay! Just like that.

7. Avoid recalls. Make your own toys.
Ingesting lead would hurt my children less than the toys I would make.

8. Avoid air travel delays.
Getting that raise would be easier.

9. Knit like a hipster.
What does that even mean? What am I supposed to knit? A peace symbol? A poem? A beatnik afghan?

10. Yawn.
Done.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Middle-Age

posted by Momo Fali on December 23, 2007
How sad is it that I wanted to jump up and down in the dairy section, when I saw that Lactaid makes Egg Nog?
Yes Virginia, some people do need to buy products that say,
“Easy to Digest”.