MacGyver’s Got Nothing On Me

posted by Momo Fali on December 6, 2007

A few nights ago, my kids were in the bathroom and suddenly things got quiet. Now, every parent who knows anything, knows that silence is not golden unless you’re in the car, where everyone is safely strapped in their seats. Silence in the car isn’t golden, it’s platinum. But, silence in the bathroom is not usually good, so I don’t know why I didn’t yell the frequently asked, “What are you doing in there?!!”

Before I could use my motherly instincts to sense doom, my daughter yelled, “Mom! You’re not going to be happy.”

Now, what could that mean? Coming from the bathroom, I assumed it was that my son had pulled down the towel rack, or that a full trash can had been tipped over. The worst scenario in my mind was a backed-up toilet. We live in an old house, so that happens a lot.

But,no! That would just require a plunger and some elbow grease. Instead, my daughter informed me that after she had pooped and wiped, but before she had flushed, her brother threw an ink-pen in the toilet.

At first, I just stood there looking at it. Like, what am I going to do about this?!! But, I quickly went to work, looking for something with which I could easily retrieve the pen, and then dispose of.

I thought about tongs, but tongs aren’t really disposable. I thought of the box of surgical gloves we have, that I use for projects around the house, or for when my son had his tonsils removed and we had to shove acetaminophen suppositories up his patootie, but they seemed too thin and I didn’t want to think about sticking my hand in there. Not even with a glove on.

So, I did what any logical person would do. I took two bendable straws and positioned one under each end of the pen which had luckily not speared anything. With a keen sense of straw-balancing, I was able to lift the pen out of the pot. I threw it, and the straws, into the trash can I had placed right next to the toilet.

And, there you have my latest Mommy-Invention. A poopy-pen-retrieval-system. It sure won’t make me rich, but at least it kept my hands clean.

    Comments

  • boogiemum(www.boogiemum.com)


    Ooh, I will have to remember that. One of my boys has a fascination with flushing, or trying to flush I should say, things down the toilet. I bet if I kept a box of them in the bathroom I might get some strange stares from my visitors šŸ™‚

  • Mom Chatter


    This is DEFINITELY one invention worth remembering! Way to go… way to use that mommy brain!! šŸ™‚

    AND, BTW, I LOVE(d) MacGyver… so you rock just by mentioning him!! I’m pretty sure he would’ve never had to retrieve a pen from a poop filled toilet, but if he had… I’m sure he would’ve used that pen for something else. Me, I would’ve thrown it out just like you!! šŸ™‚

  • Making My Own Fun


    That story made me cringe! I’m remembering back to the poop in the tub days. *shudder*

  • Tara R.


    Truly ingenuous! A feat of legerdemain only a mother could have performed. Kudos.

  • Mommin' It Up!


    Oh man, I am laughing sooo hard right now! You are amazing. I would’ve shut the bathroom door and said, “I can’t wait until your father gets home.”

  • Candace


    you rock. and yes silence in the car is the best. we had forty seconds of it yesterday. not in a row.

  • meleah rebeccah


    paten that idea ASAP….

    if the pet rock (which was useless) made a man a millionaire… i dont see why / how this TOTALLY handy-crafty awesome invention couldn’t do the same!

  • WorksForMom


    I think you’re a genius! And you’re so right about THEE golden formula. Silence = Trouble!

  • PG


    I was at work tonight and had a bit of downtime, so I fired up my google reader and not long after had people looking at me funny.

    I was literally doubled over in laughter.

    Solid offering, thanks!!

  • Judith Shakespeare


    Dude, you’re brilliant! LOL. I usually just use a coat hanger (kid-sized),but what a waste! Off to buy straws…:)

  • Tot's Mom


    MacGyver… I used to watch that show years ago. Reading through your post, urghh… Lucky thing your invention works!

  • suchsimplepleasures


    impressive…so, can you come get the pacifier that my son, so kindly, threw into the toilet…it’s causing a lot of problems. thanks.

  • Misty


    i have such a bad gag reflex, the very idea of this makes me want to throw up…
    you are brave, brave, brave.

  • BD @ BusyDadBlog.com


    Hey don’t sell yourself short! Where there’s a need, there’s a market. Retrieving items out of a toilet is a very real, very prevalent need among us parents. I’d buy one!

  • Jill


    I have to admit I was gagging when I read your story.

    Now we know why we pay plumbers the big bucks!

  • Scot E


    What you need for Christmas is a nice pair of toilet tongs.

    I had to reach into a toilet once, a public restroom toilet. But I won’t go into it here.

  • Rachel


    Fabulous invention!
    I love MacGyver. Your title brought me in šŸ™‚
    Silence is the deadliest sound in the house of children šŸ™‚

  • Jamie E


    rofl, huzzah!!!!!

  • Jenny


    You are sooooo cool!! Really, you are one brilliant mom. I would have just stuck a fork in my eye and called it a day! lol!

    Jenny-up the hill
    Up the Hill Gang

  • Amy Turn Sharp


    great post! Laughing hard here- This has not happened to me
    Yet šŸ™‚

  • MomTo4KidsNY


    woman I have a week tummy and gagged so many times reading this!! I will buy some straws and keep them around just in case Daddy ever needs to fish out a pen! So far everthing that has attempted to go down the hole has been in clean water and easily removed with an old spatula that I keep around just for that purpose! clear i can handle anything else i leave for daddy!
    Thanks for the invention!

  • Scot E


    Momofali, or MomGyver? Has anybody ever seen both of them in the same place at the same time?

  • Mishelle


    Sign me up for three, please. Three toilets, three retrieval systems needed (just. in. case.)

  • Katy


    oh my gosh!!!!! Ahahahahaha!!! That absolutely cracked me UP!!!!!

  • Joeprah


    Good! I am glad nothing was speared…phew! That would have been nasty….ewwwww anyways right? LOL

  • Melinda Zook


    Good call. At first I thought you were going to say you did something with gum since McGyver always had gum for something. Cool to hear that straws can make a good pen picker upper!

  • ~ Melody ~


    LOL, good save, mom. I’ve so been there before… http://slurpinglife.typepad.com/slurping_life/2006/11/life_is_full_of.html

    The things these kids make us do!

  • terancedubya


    Nice. That’s one for the parenting books. Kudos.

  • Donna


    I have a strange friend who will try anything once. When he was a boy, he decided to flush a firecracker after it was lit. His family learned that it does, indeed, remain lit under water, and I believe, they are even braver than you. He is their son, after all.

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