Next Thing You Know, I’ll Take Up Macramé

posted by Momo Fali on January 13, 2008

Clear signs that I’m getting old…

* I get mad when my paper isn’t on the doorstep by 7:00 AM

* I scan the obituaries in said paper

* I get excited that the grocery store has Super-Double-Coupons

* The subject line in the e-mails I send to my friends no longer say things like “party” or “BYOB”, but instead say things like, “Fiber”, “Shredded Wheat” and “Lactose Intolerant”

* In 10 years, my daughter will be nineteen

* I know the phone number to my pharmacy by heart

* My older sister is a grandmother

* I turn on MTV and say things like, “What is this crap?”

* After playing on the floor with my kids, I make odd, and quite audible, noises when I get up

* And lastly, because I can relate to this

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator. I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in with, “Sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up, or on my way down.”

The third one responded, “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem…knock on wood.” Then she rapped her knuckles on the table and said, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

    Comments

  • Mr Lady


    I was doing fine, I totally related to everything, and then came, “* My older sister is a grandmother”

    Ouch.

  • Bec


    Yeah the older sister/grandmother thing stopped me in my tracks too. But…no! *My* mother’s a grandmother!

    When you do start Macrame I’d like a nice owl please.

  • Kathy Frederick


    I hit 40 and everything they said would happen is coming true. It’s all downhill for me now 🙁

  • Redneck Mommy


    I’m feeling the passage of time a lot lately.

    Might have something to do with the fact my lovely son likes to point out I’m starting to look a little worn around the edges.

    “Mom! You’ve got another wrinkle!”

    He’s a peach among peaches.

  • Jared At DadThing.com


    At least you don’t have to worry about grey hair in your beard, or going bald. I think I may have to start putting sunscreen on my head this summer…and I’m not even 30 yet… Sunburn hurts, but sunburn on skin that has never seen sun…REALLY hurts. 🙂

  • newnorth


    HAHAHAHa

  • holly


    ouch. my daughter will be 18!

    however, *I* won’t be aging. i’ve decided now to stop that.

    yikes.

  • boogiemum


    Yikes, related to all of that besides my sis being a grammy.

    In 10 years my daughter will almost be 21!

    Thanks for the sweet reminder of how old I am. Nothing like a special Monday morning reminder to start my week! 🙂

  • Kimmylyn


    Can I add?? Please?? I get excited over buying house hold appliances over clothes and shoes for myself?? When did this happen to me?

  • ~JJ!


    I look forward to the real estate ads…I read the obits too…

    Gah.

  • chefmom


    Too funny! I have to say I’m the same way with the Obits…In ten years my oldest will be 18 and I’m sure she’ll be creating havoc. I’m with Holly, I’m going to stop aging now, and like kimmylyn, I get WAY to excited about new kitchen things…It could be the smallest thing, but it’s thrilling to me!

  • Sarah is Ok


    I love this joke! I’m sending this on to a few people. Thanks.

  • Corey~living and loving


    ummm yeah….I hear you on most of those. 🙂

    Have a great day!

  • Candace


    lol! my husband and I were discussing today how we can’t remember anything and we decided it works just perfectly that way! Every conversation is fresh and new!
    this was real funny!

  • Huckdoll


    I can’t say I’m with you on MTV part (keep me young) but for sure on the obituaries and coupons. I also choose fancy stamps at the post office instead of the plain ones and my knee pops whenever I get up off the floor.

    I’m a total granny.

  • BusyDad


    The fact that I am laughing so hard at these means I can relate. The fact that I can relate means that I am old. Save me some macramé.

  • meleah rebeccah


    yep. I am OLD as well.

  • Mimzie


    I’m not sure how old you are, but this ALL sounds like me. I’m depressed now.

  • Tara R.


    Signs I’m getting old

    – In seven MONTHS, my daughter will be 19
    – I can remember chanting “I want my MTV!”

  • Caffeine Court


    Here’s another…I listen to talk radio and AM news radio in my car!!

    Yowsa.

  • Felicia


    MTV? Totally! I can relate. Getting old sucks ass.

  • Rachel


    That joke was adorable! Sadly, I find myself feeling that way all too frequently! 🙂
    I’ve been turning on MTV and saying What’s this crap for years!!! UGH!

  • Mike@disfordad.com


    I know what you mean. I think I’ve become the Mr. Wilson (Dennis the Menace) of my neighborhood. “Darn kids! Stay off my lawn.”

  • Jo Beaufoix


    Yup. I’m with you. Miss E will be 17 in 10 years time. Scary.

  • bmg


    Ooooh, yeah. I relate to way too many of these…

  • Sleeping Beauty


    i hate MTV I can not relate to it all! Maybe its because I am a mom.

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