Spreading Holiday Cheer One Jab At A Time

posted by Momo Fali on January 10, 2008

When I was dropping off my son at pre-school this morning, he pointed to a heavy-set lady, with white hair and a red hat. When he sticks that finger toward someone, I know something bad is about to be said, but I couldn’t hurry him along despite my best efforts.

Now he’s starting to give multiple put-downs, because as he was pointing at this woman, he said, “Look Mom! There’s Santa’s brother!”

I can’t decide what’s worse…being insulted by a five year old, getting called a man, or being told that you resemble a jolly old elf.


  • suchsimplepleasures

    you are, perhaps, one of the funniest women around!!! well, next to me, of course 😉

    as for the shampoo bottle…don’t ask me why she brought it in that…i was simply a player in the game of school drunkedness!!

  • meleah rebeccah

    ha ha ha ha….wait…are you sure it was a WOMAN?

  • kawaii crafter

    LOL, you never know what a child is going to say

    Once when I was at a Tea-Party my four year old stood up and said” everyone, I have something to say, daddy’s a man, he has hair on his legs”.

    Now anytime he says “I have something to say” I fear for the worst

  • Kimmylyn

    Your five year old kills me.. Hysterical..

  • Dan

    It’s not the best of choices admittedly.

    I’d go for the being told i look like a man. Of course I am a man, so that makes the blow a little less stinging.

  • Corey~living and loving

    oh man…that right there is an awful situation as a mom. LOL Did the person hear him? ugh.

  • jennifer

    I fear these moments.

  • Bec

    😆 what did the lady say??

  • Manners & Moxie

    OMG! That’s too funny! 🙂 Um, I’d say it’s a tie between the man and elf thing. The insult coming from a five-year-old is kind of like your get out of jail free card!

  • Dapoppins

    My daughter sometimes spouts off like that…what do you do?


    Whenever this stuff happens to me, the flight instinct kicks in.

    Yesterday we were at the Amish market and my daughter says, loudly, “look at all these pilgrims!”

    We cut and run.

  • holly

    well i’m just glad it’s someone *else* they’re insulting for a change.

    “you can’t dislike fat people m1”

    “i don’t dislike them. i like you!”

    “thanks kid….”

  • Christine

    that is hysterical. man is bad. fat elf is bad. old is not so great either…

    your kid went for the trifecta on this poor ole broad

  • chefmom

    That’s the perfect scene for one of those airline commercials, “want to get away?”. I’m sorry, but if that woman ever had any children, she’d have to laugh…..maybe….I’d try to! I adore your son, because he really comes up with the wonderful stuff that you remember as a mother. The moments that made you laugh, and see what a fantastic personality he really has. AS you may have read, mine is just learning to really talk, and coming up with his own lovely annnoucements. Like in Toys r us, He announced we were looking for Monster Frucks…but barely say the R slightly. I hate to see these moments pass….Ha!LOL!

  • Hungry Mother

    In a restaurant, one of my granddaughters pointed to the backside of a very nearby waitress and said loudly, “Big Butt.”

  • Huckdoll

    Toooo funny!!! Bad Momma Huckdoll would be turning blue trying to hold in a laugh.

    Great blog! Thanks for stopping by Huckdoll’s Hood.

    **YOU ROCK**

  • newnorth

    funny stuff 🙂

  • Rachel

    Oh my gosh. That is absolutely hysterical! Love it!!

  • Childlife

    LOL – he’s been on a roll lately, hasn’t he? Do you have any hair left? : )

  • BusyDad

    Oh man!!! He’s gone multi-dimensional on us. Love that kid…

    btw, I don’t know how well this’ll fly, but I’m trying to start a movement: Fri nite drunken blog hopping. Care to join?

  • Mya

    We can only hope she was deaf. And at least his insults are funny!

    Mya x

  • Mommyspeak

    I have an Aunt who is rather heavier set. When my nephew saw her after some time he said Hi Aunt Pat… You look big! No keep in mind my nephew is already as tall as me.. His dad is 6 4′ so people are always telling him how big he is.. He’s only 9.. So I’m not sure exactly why he said it but I know my sister was mortified and said it was the first Time she ever saw aunt pat speachless!

  • Stephen

    Ooh, ouch! 🙂

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    TAG! You’ve been memed (is that a word?) Check my blog for instructions, it’s an easy copy the question and simple answers type meme. Have Fun!


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  • Amy Turn Sharp

    you are so funny
    I love coming here

  • Candace

    omg. too funny. I’m laughing but I have a pit in my stomach at the same time. My daughter has pre-school turrets too.

  • Jo Beaufoix

    Hee hee. The poor lady. A couple of months ago there was a lady with a facial deformity in the toilets with Miss M and I.
    “Why dat man in here?” She asked. I just said, that’s not a man M, that’s a lady with short hair. Luckily the lady just smiled, but I was praying she’d hurry and leave as I was scared Miss M might mention her poor face. Thanks God she didn’t. I would have felt awful, even though M is only 2.
    Kids! 😀

  • Not Hannah

    I am so frickin’ glad I surfed onto this site via a BlogHer link I can’t remember now. I laughed so hard I snorted. Excellent!

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