So, I Can’t Sew

posted by Momo Fali on February 28, 2008

I have a problem. The hem on my daughter’s school uniform has come undone and it needs sewn, but I don’t know how to do it. As a matter of fact, I recently gave my sewing machine to my in-laws because they will actually use it. Poor thing sat in my closet for 10 years without being touched. My husband bought me that machine with much wishful thinking, but I never even learned how to thread it.

But, sewing isn’t the only task I do miserably. It is just one of many reasons why I make a lousy housewife…

I am a rotten cook, my husband frequently runs out of clean underwear because I haven’t done the laundry, and the kitchen sink is often overflowing with dishes.

The most I can seem to run a sweeper is twice a week, when it should really be done every day. My dog sheds so much that I am constantly telling the children not to sit on the floor. I keep a lint brush handy, so their teachers won’t think I make them sleep on top of the dog’s bed, in their school clothes.

There is dust covered furniture with dust-bunnies underneath…and you don’t want to know what I find when a ball rolls under the oven and I have to pull it away from the wall.

The basement is cluttered with things I plan on putting out for a garage sale…the one I’ve been meaning to have for three years now. The floors need mopped, the curtains need washed, toys need disinfected, and the cabinets need scrubbed. I REALLY could go on and on.

But, I am good at some things…

I’ve read Barney books so often that I have them memorized, and I can whoop some butt at Candyland, PayDay, Chutes & Ladders and Sorry.

I have the patience to spend an entire Saturday afternoon putting together a jigsaw puzzle with two kids, and I wait for, what seems like eons, while my five year old says his prayers each night.

I can give a kid a good bath in two minutes flat, undo knotted shoelaces and necklaces in record speed, pack a lunch faster than a speeding bullet, and I always get my kids to school on time.

I manage to keep files from work, school papers, homework, committee documents, insurance forms and therapy instructions in order. And, I can be enthusiastic while watching magic tricks and shows put on by a five and nine year old. Over, and over, and over…

I can give a haircut to a squirming kid, floss the back teeth of a child with a severe gag reflex, and thanks to a “failure to thrive” diagnosis, I, along with my husband, managed without much sleep in order to feed our boy every three hours, round the clock, for 13 months straight.

I can heal boo-boos with a kiss, make up stories and songs to sooth a tired child, once danced around the lab at the hospital to distract my son while his blood was drawn, and have somehow mustered the strength to watch him get taken to surgery time after time.

So there. My daughter’s hem is out and I need someone else to sew it. I’m no domestic goddess, and I’m not a Super-Parent either, but I think I make a halfway decent Mom.

    Comments

  • Ok, Where Was I?


    This is so cute. Dancing in the lab made me smile. I think your list of things you’re good at is way more impressive than what you’re not good at. By the way, I’d just buy that fabric glue and skip the sewing altogether.

  • A Buns Life


    and THAT is what is really important.

  • Stacey @Real World Mom


    Your kids aren’t going to remember the dust bunnies or the dishes in the sink. What they ARE going to remember about their childhood is that you DO know how to play Candy Land and fix boo-boos. You’ve got the important parts down! 🙂

  • Groovy Mom


    Sewing and I do not get along either. Some of the worst moments of my life involve a needle and thread. I’m not such a great housekeeper either. Being a halfway decent mom is priceless, though, and it’s what your kids will cherish when their all grown.

  • Groovy Mom


    Oh, and almost completely without exception, all of the great housekeepers I know are really cranky. 😉

  • Mimzie


    So, you’re an awesome mom but you suck at housework? I dont see the problem. Your house can be tended to when the kids are grown and gone. For now, it seems like you’re doing just what you should be – being a good mom.

  • The Immoral Matriarch


    Awesome post. I’d like to think of myself as similarly inclined/inept. 🙂

  • Karen C.


    MORE than halfway. I’m absolutely sure of it!!

  • Kimmylyn


    I think you have it NAILED.. as many have mentioned your kids will look back and see what an awesome mom they have NOT how clean their house was..

    You are indeed a super mom in my book.

  • meleah rebeccah


    woman…you do GREAT work.

  • Tara R.


    Hems …. fusable hem tape, all you need is an iron and ironing board or flat surface. You can get it anywhere that sells sewing supplies (JoAnns, Wal-mart) It’s like double-backed tape when it gets hot (hence the iron). I can sew, I just don’t cuz I’m lazy.

  • Rachel


    Umm, hi. Hems are why they made velcro, walmart and friends.
    You are a bad ass mother who has weathered and beaten things far more amazing and daunting than a hem and a tear.
    I say here and now that no wimpy little pathetic mom wanna be’s would ever have been given a royal banana! So understand that just because you may not fit the 1950’s June Cleaver ideal of a mom at home does not mean that you are not the most amazingly perfect mom that ever was. You are. your stories and your readership attest to that.
    Believe Momo, believe in yourself, as we do.

  • wheremytruthlives


    Truly you are a mom after my own heart!!

  • Amber


    It takes a village…

    Really, not every mom can do/be everything. It’s just not humanly possible. I find close girlfriends invaluable not just for the good times and conversations- but because they can DO STUFF. They complete me 😉 well, not quite that sappy- but you get what I mean right?

    Also? They have this stuff that’s magic. You stick it in the hem (it’s like a non fraying glue or something) and iron it and it’ll repair with no sewing required.

  • Deb


    When it comes to the “what your kids will remember” inventory, you’re an AWESOME mom.

    BTW, staples work great on hems.

  • chefmom


    YOU are a fantastic Mom. I mean it, you take care of the important things. So what if the laundry and dishes go undone?! They don’t get done here either….
    A good bath in 2 minutes flat is feat in itself!! They have iron on stuff now to fix the hems. you cut it to size place it in, iron it and it adheres the 2 sides together. Or send it my way….

  • THE MOM BOMB


    A big AMEN! to all of the above!

    And by the way . . . washing curtains? Am I supposed to do that? I thought you just let them disintegrate on the rod.

    Disinfecting toys? Hey, a few germs are good for building up the immune system.

    There’s a new life form evolving beneath my fridge and oven.

  • hottdog


    sounds to me like you are a super mom. you’re good at the important stuff. the stuff that really matters. who gives a hoot if the dishes need to be washed or your hubby has to wear his gunders inside out!
    :o)

  • HRH


    Who needs to be able to sew when they can endure an afternoon of magic tricks? find a nice tailor so you have time to fit in another game of sorry.

  • Moonshadow


    Momo, here’s a page with from JoAnn fabric that shows a couple of handheld sewing machines (which are different than the real thing) that you can use for hemming…
    http://www.joann.com/joann/catalog.jsp?CATID=cat3414
    Otherwise I recommend the iron-on or glue. Would hot glue work if you didn’t get it on to thick?

  • Rachel


    I think you’re awesome. Does that count?
    I can’t sew either. Yeesh.

  • Soap


    I so totally relate, Momo. In my book, you get HUGE points for reading the Barney books, excelling at those board games, the haircut (WOW! I could never, ever do that), flossing the back teeth (given the circumstances!) and managing the lack of sleep (and all the rest). See? That list is already getting too long!
    You’re amazing! All the other stuff? Meaningless in the big scheme of things.

    Think about when you’re 85, sitting in some rocking chair reflecting on your life. Will you be thinking, “I just wish I would’ve removed those dust bunnies and the clutter in the basement!” Yea…NO!!

    So, give yourself a pat on the back and toss out any kind of label (halfway?! decent?!). You’re the best mom your kids can have!! You’re fabulous just as you are.

  • 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why!


    Trust me, your babies will remember all the time spent playing, being an audience and generally trying to be there for them. Forget the labels. Love them and play with them. Those are my fondest memories of my parents.
    Blog-Hopping
    Muffin Top Mommy

  • Nola


    I’d say you are doing pretty good! Sewing is for the birds anyway–that’s why there are tailors in the world. And restaurants!

  • Mommy Bits


    Sweing schmooing. You are good at so many more of the important things. You can hire someone to hem the skirt, you can’t replace all the awesome time you spend doing things with and for your family!!

    Hoppin~
    Anastasia Beaverhousin

  • wornoutwoman


    I think you’re an amazing mom! And wife! I can relate to this post…I think we all can!

  • April


    LOL – I’m reading this as I’m avoiding the dishes that need to be washed, the picking-up that needs to be done, the floors that need to be vacuumed/swept/mopped…but the kids are fed and happy! And I’m content to be…
    Blog Hoppin’,
    Balancing Hops

  • terancedubya


    Remember, my dear, its the things that you can do really well that eclipse the things you can’t. So, from what I can tell, you ROCK at motherhood.

    Besides…sewing is an overrated skill anyway.

  • girlymom4


    Love this post! I can’t sew either and yeah, I’m a housework slacker myself. But, I still feel like I’m a good Mom, regardless!

  • holly


    i think it’s much MUCH higher than halfway. i’ll give you 2/3…

    KIDDING! YOU ROCK!

    see, MY mom was awesome at the crap you don’t do. but the stuff you *do* do? (i said do do) she didn’t. so who would you rather have.

    yeah, i just said i would rather have you as a mom.

    and you’re probably younger than me.

    i said do do up there. and then followed it with crap.

    it’s what i do.

    what i …

    do do.

    sorry i’ll go now.

  • Amy


    I think you’re an AWESOME mom!!

  • Tina


    I am exactly the same kind of parent as you! Can barely cook, and rarely do I get through housework, but I have memorized my daughter’s favorite TV show themes, can repeat “This Little Piggy” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to my 6-month-old for hours on end, and handle pretty much other child-loved activity without much trouble. And in the end, that’s what’s important – I always tell people that I have two kids, my house won’t be spotless and unimportant stuff will get put off.

  • Ashley


    You rock! I bet you are a GREAT mom!

  • Candace


    ….and you’re an incredible writer who shares her humor, warmth, talent and compassion. That’s a way better gift to share with your kids and the world than chasing away dustbunnies…..

  • Twigs


    Use some Steam A Seam 2 for the hem. If you can turn on an iron, you can do it. 🙂 Hit any quilt or fabric store. They’ll have it.

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