This Doesn’t Bode Well For His Future Wife

posted by Momo Fali on February 12, 2008
This is Wilson.
Wilson is my son’s much-loved, torn and tattered “friend”. Their relationship began when my son and I used to wait at his sister’s soccer practices. I didn’t want him to feel left out watching all the other kids play, so I bought him his own ball. Within a short time, Wilson was going places with us, and my son started having conversations with him.

My boy would get out of bed in the morning, and before he would say a word to anyone else, he would greet his ball with a big hug and a jolly, “Ohhhh Wilson!” I’m not sure what this ball was saying to my kid, but apparently he’s quite a comedian. No person, place or thing could make my son laugh like Wilson.

But, not long ago, Wilson really started falling apart. His outer layer was peeling off and I was finding little bits of foam all over the house. I figured it was time to retire him to a top shelf somewhere. Someplace out of reach, but within view. The two of them would have to skip the long walks and holding hands, but they could continue their conversations, and still have some laughs.


I thought this would be traumatic for my son. Wilson had become his best friend and I just knew he wasn’t going to like the idea. So, to ease the pain, I went out and bought a new soccer ball.


Now, I don’t want to generalize and make comments about men or anything, but it was as if my five year old was going through a mid-life crisis. Because, when he saw the new, shiny, white ball…the younger, prettier model…he quickly handed me the beat up version and said, “This is the OLD Wilson. You can throw it in the trash..”

    Comments

  • holly


    momo, i don’t want to suggest that you are “dropping the ball” (sorry, that was uncalled for, i know) on this one, but really. if you don’t drum it into him that he must cherish the old used friend, who will?!

    i think “notes” should be left from the ball to your son:

    “you’re not making enough money”

    “i asked you to bring me some diamonds”

    “i need another patch job”

    “i don’t *play* that game”

    “kick *all* your other old toys to the curb”

    and so on.

    let the ball go play with other little boys on the block, returning only as your son gets back home.

    it’s up to you, momo.

  • paul


    Haha, that’s pretty funny!

    My oldest son is the opposite. He’s 9 (9!!), and we can’t pry a blanket away from him that’s falling apart. It’s not like he’s Linus … he doesn’t carry it around with him… but mention of throwing it away causes him to freak out.

    It’s been sort of disappearing one piece at a time.

    As for Wilson, I guess it wasn’t love after all. :>

    Thanks for the morning smile.

  • Becky


    My 6 yr old is attached to a pillow. Its ugly and it smells. I have washed it while he’s in school and still the smell lingers in the pillow. I hate the pillow. He loves the pillow. I went out and bought him a Batman pillow that is just as square and yet you would have thought I was trying murder the boy when I gave him the Batman pillow and in return had to give me the old one.
    The Batman pillow is put up until he is ready..it’s been 3 yrs now and still no dice.
    He must not have been as attached to Wilson as you thought!

  • Josi


    Ha, Ha–that is too funny. I hope you printed out the post so you can show it to potential girlfriends as he gets older, let them know what they might be getting into.

  • Misty


    Either that, or he’s just one to roll with the punches… And that’s something, right?

  • secret agent mama


    Oh Momo!!!!! LOL That last paragraph was really funny.

  • A Whole Lot of Nothing


    All men start out the same way.

  • meleah rebeccah


    Okay…Your son is CRAZY funny.

  • Tara R.


    That is hilarious. Wilson… tooo funny. Even when my kids were playing soccer, I don’t think either of them got attached to their ball. Shin guards maybe…

  • Stephen


    I call that a smart kid: ‘hey, upgrade!’ 🙂

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    A future CEO in the making.
    Brilliant.

  • Maria


    *lmao*

    I love it!

  • Prof Scrub


    Dear Friend of Wilson,

    My condolences. I hope you gave Wilson a proper funeral and an appropriate place of rest.

    Prof Scrub
    http://www.profscrub.com

  • Rachel


    Poor Poor Wilson. Passed over for yet another prettier and firmer ‘face’.
    Ah well. Send him off to the old ball ‘s home where he’ll be polished, waxed and loved. 🙂
    *snort*

  • newnorth


    lol, that’s too funny :p

  • Mommy Bits


    lol. I didn’t realize it started that young!! Poor Wilson. I hope you save him for when he is older!

  • Jenn @ Juggling Life


    Maybe you should save the old Wilson and give it to his wife on their wedding day, along with a printout of this post–just a little heads-up as to what will happen if she doesn’t keep herself up!

  • Maureen


    Well, at least he didn’t paint a red face in the shape of his hand on it….

    Willlllllsonnnnnnn…..no!!!!!

    Leave a Comment

    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *