The Great Toilet Paper Debate

posted by Momo Fali on March 20, 2008
What election? We’re talking about a real vote here.

From the day my husband and I were married, we were Charmin users. But, because Charmin is so soft and thick, it didn’t agree with the pipes in our old house. It bundled up against the tree roots running through our sewer line, and that didn’t make for a dry basement.

The last Roto-Rooter guy to pay us a visit, left coupons for a certain brand of toilet paper. Let’s call that brand Cotts. After my grocery store doubled those coupons, I got 32 rolls of Cotts at a bargain basement price of 44 cents a piece. Our impression of this paper? Well, let’s just say that bargain basement sometimes makes for raw bottoms. I’m sure it’s easy on the sewer, because it’s thinner than Kate Moss on a diet.

In all honesty, it would be more comfortable to roll up some newspaper, or a leaf…or sandpaper. It’s completely non-absorbent as well. I have visions of my nine year old telling me she’d rather drip dry.

My husband has taken to calling it “hotel paper”. Obviously, we stay at some fine establishments.

But, we are not wasters. No, no, no. We will use that paper until there isn’t a scrap of it left. In the meantime, we are also experimenting with three other kinds.

At this point, I’ll be happy to find a brand that doesn’t clog the toilets, and won’t leave splinters where the sun don’t shine.

    Comments

  • Bean


    I love the pictures … mostly, picturing you doing them!

    We buy the kind with aloe & E – or whatever – but we have new pipes. My quest is now to find a soft tp that DOESN’T MAKE LINT ALL OVER!

  • Mr Lady


    I like Cottonelle. It’s like wiping with a Ritz Carlton washcloth. Mmmmmmm. I imagine your sewer would hate it.

    Wait, wait….we’re talking about Toilet Paper. Christ on a cracker, we’re old.

  • Nola


    I am a Charmin girl, too. Maybe you should swap out in between rolls to save your tushies!

  • MamaWise


    My ass couldn’t be without Charmin. I even take it with me when I travel.

  • Misty


    We too are big fans of cottonelle. LOVE IT! I hate Charmin because of the linty residue it leaves in my nether regions… We love the Kleenex paper towels too! Soft enough to blow a nose on. And after all, isn’t that a requirement for a paper towel? One has to factor in those emergency sneezes!

  • Joeprah


    Dude, I would so let the kids use that paper until it was gone and get new paper for the King and Queen of the house in the mean time…JMO, but raw butts don’t sound like fun, unless you are a crazy person or something.

  • OHmommy


    LMAO at Mr. Lady’s comment.

    A discussion about TP…. yes, I feel old.

    We are a Charmin family. 🙂

  • Annie


    I can’t stand Charmin – I have to use the plunger way too much – so the stuff doesn’t even get to our sewers before it starts causing problems. We use Sam’s Club own brand and it’s grand 🙂

  • Tara R.


    If I could I’d take all that flimsy stuff for my TP bandit, but my vote goes with Cottonelle too.

  • metaDAD


    As we say in our house, “if you use more than four squares, you playin’.”

  • meleah rebeccah


    Good Toilet Paper is a TOUGH find.

    Personally, I have learned to work with BABY wipes.

    Clean + Gental + Leaves you feeling fresh and flushable.

    🙂

  • Dad Speed


    My parents always bought the cheapest and thinnest TP growing up, so they could spend more money on “Toys”. But the wife has always used Charmin.

    We met and I asked her why she was so particular about what kind of TP she used. I was baffled.

    But… then I started using Charmin, and now… I can never go back.

    All hail the Charmin god.

  • Jared


    Hmmm. I have no preference… whatever is cheapest and still keeps the hiney shiney! 😀

  • Lisa


    I must have Charmin ultra–I think if we had to use ‘Cotts’ we might consider moving 😉
    I think Kleenex has an OK brand but it’s not Charmin 🙁

  • jennifer


    Charmin makes a Basic TP, supposedly good dor septics/crumudgeonly pipes. Also, Angel Soft. Both are far superior to Cott’s for wiping the tender bits.

  • chefmom


    OH, this is a HUGE debate in our house. I prefer comfort, my husband prefers money saving. OUCH!!

  • wheremytruthlives


    Cottonelle baby!

    On the edge of my seat for next week’s exciting post on Metamucil vs. Fiber Choice!

  • Caffeine Court


    I’m so glad to know we’re not the only family in America debating this issue. My husband threw a hissy fit because I bought Scott’s in bulk at Costco. He asked me to throw it away!!!

    My compromise..provide a roll of Charmin in each bathroom for his comfort and wiping pleasure.

  • Dapoppins


    Tee, hee. I am a cheap person. I spend less money on those big rolls of “Cott’s” than my husband does on those skinny five square rolls of the imitation Charmin stuff. If I send him to the store, he buys what he wants… and vice versa. As far as I know, we don’t have the clogging problem…if we did…well, to keep that from happening I would use what ever I had too.

  • Kimmylyn


    I am a charmin girl. I made a mistake one time and bought scotts and I thought was trying to sandpaper my arse.. LOL

  • wornoutwoman


    I had a post on this at my daily blessings site not to long ago. We have tried to save everywhere we can, including buying bargain TP. I miss my cottenelle and my charmin! It’s a sacrifice that I am not liking to make, but you’re right….once we buy it we’re going to use every last crappy scrap. No pun intended.

  • <---That Girl


    WHITE CLOUD
    …and there ya have it. Our home was built in 44 & we have a septic system. It’s all we use. It’s thin yet fluffy enough so you don’t feel like you have to reel & reel it to get a good wipe!
    It’s thicker than that Quilted Northern and Angel Soft, yet thinner than Charmin & Cottonelle (which is pure hiney luxury). Try it, you’ll ike it. Oh, BTW,It’s the one with the white tubes, which coincidently make for great preschool crafts *s*

  • Jo Beaufoix


    Hee hee, hope you find something a little softer yet non-clogging soon.

  • Selma


    There is nothing worse than rough loo paper. I know I shouldn’t but I hate that recycled stuff, it is like using newspaper. Is it so wrong to want something a little soft in the bottom region? Hehe.

  • HRH


    oh no! I would cry…literally…daily…without my Charmin. Good luck. I have no sage advice to share.

  • newnorth


    charmin, hmmm, is that the kind where the miniature old ladies (and one new young one to replace them) sew our toilet paper for us? That has to be a real rewarding job.
    you could get a bidet???

  • Di


    I know you can go to TJ’s and get some biodegradable kind. Should be easier on the pipes.

  • holly


    i let my husband buy the last pack of toilet roll.

    i saw what he’d bought and said “okay, now i’ll go get some, because i’ll be damned if that barely processed tree is touching my very processed behind.”

    if i’m going to be *that* raw? i want it to be for a *good* reason.

    can i say that or is this a family blog. oh dang. sorry.

  • Mimi aka pz5wjj


    Oh, I hate Cotts! Sandpaper on the hind end is not good! We’re a Charmin family too — but now that you mention it, that may be why we have daily clogs as well.

  • Christine


    I honestly have the solution to your problem…we’ve had this issue for years and then, one day, my mom took me to Costco and made me buy their Kirkland brand.

    No kidding, I am a Costco convert because of this TP.

    The stuff is soft and doesn’t rip.

    Best yet, we noticed we hardly had clogged toilets anymore. If you lived with my nine year-old son you’d know what an amazing feat it is, indeed.

  • Deb


    When you find that brand, please post all over the world about it. I’ll link to you, I swear! We need it, too.

  • Integral Mind


    My family has actually switched to the flushable baby wipes and the Cottonelle with Aloe. Much more comfy and it feels cleaner. We just wait for coupons or sales and buy in bulk. I’ve also found that my 3 yr old only uses one, but with toilet paper he uses handfuls! We might pay a little more, but I think we use less so it probably breaks about even.

    Leave a Comment

    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *