Tonight I Plopped Down With A Glass Of Wine

posted by Momo Fali on March 19, 2008

Often, after fighting the kids to take a bath, put on their pajamas, brush their teeth, say their prayers and finally get in bed, I will come downstairs and plop onto the couch exhausted. I inevitably will declare something along the lines of, “I don’t know if I have enough patience for this motherhood stuff”.

Never mind that I’ve been at bat in the game of parenthood for over nine years. Never mind that I’ve uttered a sentence like that hundreds (if not thousands) of times. I always wake up the next day…or if I’m lucky, at 3:00 AM by a kid who needs to vomit…and do it all over again.

My son has a preschool project due tomorrow. He, along with my help, was to collect information about his favorite zoo animal. Tomorrow he will share his folder full of animal facts with his class. He chose a giraffe.

Being the good mother that I am, I first felt it necessary to teach him the art of procrastination, which would be why we didn’t start his project until tonight. Some kids may have gone to the library, but we went to Google.

First we printed a picture. Then we researched where giraffes live, what they eat, how tall they grow, even the color of their tongue. We also created a visual aid. Then we went over, and over, and over the things he was going to say to the class. (Note to self: Don’t procrastinate anything involving public speaking with your speech delayed kid.)

When we were finished, I put the folder away with a relieved sigh, and said, “There! Now you’re ready to share all those facts about your favorite animal, the giraffe.”

And after the 30 minute evening battle, as I tucked him into bed, my boy looked up at me and said, “Mom. My favorite animal is an elephant.”


  • Nola

    But that may be BECAUSE he learned the true color of a giraffe’s tongue!

  • Bad Momma

    Wait till he gets older. I have a fifth grader who thinks he’s in college. He’ll wait till 9:00 and suddenly remember that he has homework he forgot to do. He is already venturing into the wonderful world of all-nighters.

    Product suggestion: Reading Headlamps that can be strapped on the head for reading or doing homework in bed!

  • BusyDad

    I swear I am laughing with you. And thank you for this. I’m going to get my kid’s favorite animal in writing, just in case I have to do the same sometime.

  • momto4kidsny

    Oh boy! What fun! Don’t you just love how kids say one thing and then at the very last second change thier minds??
    I would have thrown a tantrum…did you??

  • Ashley


    Love it.

  • MamaWise

    LOL, I was so waiting for the punchline! That sounds so much like my oldest! I can’t stop laughing!


  • Chuck

    Oh. My. Gosh.
    Somehow, that was just perfect. Thanks for a great laugh!

  • AlisonH

    I’m glad you’re writing these down! When he’s a teenager, if you say a word, it’ll feel like blackmail material to him. Then once they hit about mid-college, they start to actually *want* to hear stories on themselves from when they were little, because they don’t remember and they’ve started to appreciate that you know all this stuff about them that they don’t anymore, and they’d actually like to. You become the key to their mysteries. The older they get, the more so.

    (Yeah, I’m waiting for my oldest to have a three-year-old for *her* to catch with her hand in the cookie jar, to tell *her* in feigned indignation, “MOMMY! You go to your ROOM!!!”)

  • Amy

    Well can you send me all your research? Because my daughter’s favorite animal IS the GIRAFFE! And really I’m sure this project is coming and you could save me a whole lot of time!

  • PG

    Don’t believe the elephant nonsense!

    Giraffe is a good choice. Giraffe parents are happy parents. Why?

    What does a cow say….
    What does a horse say…
    What does a lion say….
    What does a giraffe say?

  • <---That Girl


  • Selma

    That is absolutely priceless. I have also taught my son the art of procrastination. I call it the improvisational approach, or the ‘let’s run around like maniacs and do in one hour what should have taken the whole week’ dance. Maybe it’s time for a schedule.

    Your son sounds adorable!

  • HRH


  • Lisa

    Maybe after seeing that giraffe tongue, he changed his mind 🙂
    Quite a project for pre-school–you are awesome for doing so much. I think we would ‘draw’ it and talk about the sound he makes lol!
    (Google is way better than the library!)

  • chefmom

    I too teach the art of Procrastination very well. I’d just tell him, “well, today you’ll love the giraffe and tomorrow you can love the elephant. Too funny!

  • Tara R.

    AAarrrgghhh! It doesn’t get any better when they get older… procrastination is the bane of my existance.

  • meleah rebeccah

    I cant! HA HA HA (you poor thing!)

    I am so in love with that boy. My god he is priceless.

    Um yeah, I always put off school projects until the last second…and I always regret it!


  • Mr Lady

    I wish i could say the f’er word in your comments, because that’s the only one I can think of right now.


  • heather

    Love it. We just did the same with “La Tour Eiffel” at our house. Wish we had Google, back in the day!

  • Maureen

    Har!!! That was hilarious!

  • Stacey @Real World Mom

    Sorry, the elephant part made me giggle! I think we all wonder to ourselves if we can handle another day (or minute!) of motherhood… Then again, those moments are part of what make the rest of motherhood so awesome!

  • Dad Speed

    Elephant… Giraffe… they all look the same…

    Absolutely hilarious!

  • OHmommy

    Of course he did!

    LOL. I was waiting for your punch line and it was great. 🙂

  • holly

    this is how i handle those sorts of situations:

    “correction, my beloved : *was* an elephant. if you want to ever get christmas presents again, you’ll start favoriting the elephant. now go to sleep before the boogieman comes. theeeere’s a good girl.” (or boy as the case may be. you may need to alter the text a bit for your circumstance.)

  • Misty

    of course he did…

    I am on the quest to tech procrastination too! We rock!

  • Joeprah

    Sounds just like what my 5 year old would say. She always changes her mind…always, especially when its way too late. LOL.

  • wornoutwoman

    This frickin’ hilarious! I snorted on this one! Thanks for the laugh!

  • Mommy Bits

    Lol. That is classic.

    Could you imagine how great it would have been to have Google when we were young?

  • Jo Beaufoix

    Hee hee, did you teach him to do the mind changing at the last minute bit too? Snort.

  • newnorth

    lol. he did pick two really cool animals :p

  • Deb


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