She’s Going To Hear Some Bells Ringing

posted by Momo Fali on April 1, 2008

Yesterday was one lousy day. Nobody died and no one was hurt. Nothing tragic happened. But, I was…let’s see, how can I put this delicately for you male readers? Let’s just say, I was…hormonal.

Something has happened since I entered my late thirties. Something bad. For a couple of days a month, I turn into an evil woman. I yell, I fight, and every, little, minuscule thing irritates me. I am supremely grumpy.

On many levels, I feel like a female version of Bruce Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk. There are moments, during these dark days, where I would bet money my skin was turning green. And, I’m pretty sure that I snarl and spit when I talk.

My two, poor children bear the brunt of my vicious Mrs. Hyde. I yell about toys being all over the house, shoes being left in the hall, wet towels on the bathroom floor, and kids who take too long to eat their dinner. That is to say, I get mad about normal stuff which happens every day.

But, on hormonal days, I can’t even stand the normal stuff. I become a raging freak, and what’s really bad is that I KNOW it, yet I can’t stop. For those one or two nights a month, my kids don’t even argue if I send them to bed early.

Last night I desperately tried to lighten the mood. After I grumbled about picking up some clothes off the floor, I sang, “I am grumpy. I am grumpy…” (To the tune of Frère Jacques.)

And, from the other room, my nine year old daughter was brave enough to finish the verse with, “Yes you are! Yes you are!”

    Comments

  • Michelle


    New reader here, don’t remember where I came to you from. But, you just scared me. I do the hormonal thing you described now, To. A. T. And I’m staring down 34. Are you trying to tell me it gets worse? I mean I have always had raging hormones and wild PMS, but since having my kids plus turning 30, they have turned evil.

    Somebody should lock me up.

    Michelle

  • Ashley


    “Yes you are, Yes you are”…love it. 🙂 lol

  • amy t sharp


    so awesome! High five to her wit!

  • Mr Lady


    You need to stop being so damn witty, because I don’t know how many times I can type the same comment. Could you just once put up something mediocre? Please?

    You’re making the rest of us look bad.

  • Selma


    I’m 42 now and my PMS is rampant. I actually have had to train myself not to speak much when it is going on because I usually just rant and rant. My doctor says I’m perimenopausal and that my body is gearing up for the big ‘M.’ If the perimenopause is anything to go by, then I’m going to have one whale of a time when the actual menopause hits. I think I’m going to be singing the ‘I Am Grumpy’ song quite a lot. Haha.

  • boogiemum


    This is me today. Mind if I sing your song? 🙂

  • evancalous


    Your daughter is braaaaaaaaave! My mom would have beat me if she were grumpy and I did that!

  • Misty


    well I for one admire her bravery and honesty!

  • A Whole Lot of Nothing


    Off my meds, I am Mr. Hyde 24/7.

    I thank Jeebus and Oprah for Zoloft.

  • Bean


    Ok – WOW. Yesterday I thought, “I have to text Mo to tell her about Evening Primrose Oil right NOW.” But I didn’t bc I thought I’d just wait until I could get to the computer. My Dr. said to take 1000 mgs 2x a day for PMS when I was there last. It’s been a month now, I’ve been through TWO PMS times and it hasn’t been nearly as bad. Take note, fellow PMSers!

    How strange I would think to tell you YESTERDAY, out of the blue.

  • Stacey @Real World Mom


    Wow. She is brave! LOL!

  • Rachel


    I find myself this way a couple of days a month after the second child and the return of the period. 14 months later. It sucks, because I’ve NEVER been hormonal.
    Although, I totally relate to you on this… I gotta give miss thing props for being brave and clever 🙂

  • MommyTime


    Good for her!

    I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I don’t have anything to offer that will help.

    But I know a guy that can get you some 22″ rims for cheap… would that do any good?

  • Jamie E


    thanks, you never disappoint.

  • LaskiGal


    “I am supremely grumpy.” Oh, do I know that Bruce Banner kinda feeling. And wow, your nine-year-old was gutsy!

  • cyndy


    I totally feel your pain. I’m crabby right now myself, and came home to discover the dog had not only gotten into the trash and eaten God-knows-what….he also had diarrhea from the God-knows-what while I was cleaning the trash.
    And the day continued on in that manner.

  • Bean


    EVENING PRIMROSE OIL UPDATE!!
    I’m sorry folks … take 500 mg twice a day – NOT 1000 mg twice a day, as I had originally stated. Although the bottle states one can take more than my Doctor stated – I’m sticking with his recommendation. Anyone should check with their Doctor or Pharmacist to make sure it won’t interact negatively with medication you are taking currently.

  • chefmom


    That is a brave girl!!! And a funny one too! I too suffer from HORRIBLE PMS. My husband doesn’t even ask, he just knows. I do have a remedy….Prozac, with an occasional xanax thrown in. Ya know, the old I’m drunk and full of pills addage 😉

  • Lisa


    I am there with you. My ‘time’ has come back even though I am still nursing so it’s like a double helping of hormones.
    Your daughter sounds as funny as your son 🙂

  • Jodi


    That is hysterical! She is very brave!

  • Jacque


    I get that same way periodically. So cute your daughter said “Yes you are”! They recognize when to stay out of mama’s way. 🙂

  • Heather


    My kids will make a gesture, similar to that you would make when playing Charades to indicate your clue is a movie, and say, “Craaannnkkkyy.” It makes me laugh every time.

  • LiteralDan


    I agree your daughter is bold, and funny. However, I’m more concerned that I may in fact be a hormonal woman myself, because you just described me maybe every few days around our house.

    One can only take so much without venting periodically, right?

  • Tara R.


    Leave it to the junior chicka to dive into the fray… love her bravery!

  • meleah rebeccah


    your daughter IS brave.

    And that sort of hormonal thing started to happen to me right after I turned 33….except that I am like that for 4 days (not 2)

  • Joeprah


    Go and Get some Motrin. Go and Get some Motrin.

    Go To Bed. Go To Bed.

    Thought I would finish the song up. I was going to end it with “Retain Water. Retain Water” But the meter was off.

  • Alison Hyde


    When people ask me how to spell my last name, I tell them “As in Dr. Jekyll” and they get it. My husband growls at me, “I can tell YOU didn’t grow up with that name!”

  • Amber


    Sigh. Being a woman is such a beautiful thing! (gag)

  • transfattyacid


    big LOL…

  • Our Crooked Tree


    lol! have your kids been to my house…they are very familiar with our theme song:)

  • That Girl


    Ha! Hope you’re felling better now. That’s a cuppa misery.

  • Bee


    You just described me. Only my mood last about 30 days a month.
    No, I just started feeling that way too. I think I was normal before I turned 35.

  • Maureen


    Hahaha! Love the song.

    Yeah, I sure have apologised more than I ever thought I would when I get like that…. bugs the heck out of me.

  • Mommy Bits


    OMG. I think it is happening to me too. I try so hard to hold it in, but it seems to slip out a little every month.

  • MamaMo


    Gotta love her “pluck” and candor.

  • NukeDad


    I can relate. Well, as best as a man can. Helen just left our house.

  • BusyDad


    She is a brave one. I don’t think that even Evel Knievel would have jumped that fire. And I am honored to represent the elite squad of male parent bloggers who brave hormonal/PMS, purse-dump, my hubby is a doofus, I love Patrick Dempsey, and occasional not-so-fresh posts in our ongoing quest to gain cred amongst the mommy blogger mafioso.

  • dKaye.com


    oh, just wait – it’s a LOT more fun in your 40s! Nobody wants to be around you – which is good, cause you don’t want to be around them either.

    here you go …. http://eventservices.disney.go.com/files/9850369.jpg

  • Angie


    I would love to be a fly on the wall in your home. I would die from laughter. And that whole hulk thing, Yeah, I know! The other day I swear I saw a green hair in the shower drain!

  • Kiera


    I completely understand, 110%. I’ve been there, I’ve yelled those same things and I always feel guilty about it afterward but sometimes a mom just needs to shout!! Frankly, my kids are more obedient when they know I might totally fly off the handle if they disobey. Thats a sad story right there.

  • holly


    so you’re saying we’re only supposed to do this a coupl’a days a month? ooooooh crap. i got some cheery disposition to make up for….

  • Kimmylyn


    I now have frere jacques running through my head.. 🙂

    But now that I understand busy dads comment (read posts out of order) on the church lunges I believe I need to go kick him for you. 🙂

  • Jaina


    Haha, you gotta love the honesty of young kids. Hi, btw. Just found your blog through my Google Reader recommendations, and so far I’m liking what I’m reading. 🙂

  • Bee Repartee


    I’ve been there, when you are counting to 100 and feel the need to go to 1000. It sucks.

    So did you levitate over to her?

    B Complex is my happy vitamin. It makes things better especially when you get them down with a blender of drinks. I’m just saying.

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