My husband is one of eleven children. He isn’t the first, second or third in line. Nor is he fourth, fifth or sixth. He is way down the line at number nine.

There are so many great things about being married to someone from a large family. First of all, you’re never bored. There is always something to do and someone to do it with. There are loads of special occasions, card games and get-togethers.

But, there are downsides to these events too. Understandably, seating is at a premium. One time when there were 45 people in my in-laws’ six bedroom house for an extended weekend, even floor space was valuable. You were lucky if you found a place to sleep where you wouldn’t get stepped on. I was not so lucky.

And, what would you guess is the most precious commodity of all?

That would be food.

If you have the misfortune of being in the bathroom when “soup’s on” is called…well, it’s possible you’ll just go hungry. If you’re not one of the first twenty people in line, then it’s a given you’ll find the mashed potatoes gone. And, if there’s chocolate pie for dessert, you need to claim your piece hours before mealtime.

Growing up in this family has taught my husband not to waste food. You just don’t do it.

When leftovers have been in the refrigerator a little too long, he will still eat them…even when they’re starting to look bad. And, he will consume bratwurst and baked beans for weeks after our July 4th party each year. I sometimes think his stomach is made of steel.

I have noticed that he is rubbing off on me. I now make the kids eat their crusts, and I have even started eating yogurt that’s a couple of days past expiration, or the eggs when they are a few weeks old.

But, there’s one thing he’ll eat that I just won’t.

I have to draw the line at gray bacon.

    Comments

  • chefmom


    My stomach turned at the thought of gray bacon. He must have a stomach of steel. I can’t imagine a) having 9 kids and b) calling them to dinner…I have this picture of a stampede in my head. I bet the get togethers are fun though 🙂

  • Stella


    Oh my god. Gross.

    My dad came from a family of 11, as well. He constantly tells stories about food and the lack thereof. Even now, it’s a fight at family parties to get something good and hot!

  • Mr Lady


    Dude.

  • paul


    Alright, gray bacon sounds rather disgusting.

  • Walking With Scissors


    I’ve never understood why people deliberately eat food like poutine and bleu cheese. Maybe I should ask your husband? Oh, and “ew”!!

  • jennifer


    Just this weekend, my husband tried to convince me that the gray bacon would be “fine! We’ll thoroughly heat it!”

    Um.

    No.

  • meleah rebeccah


    I cannot even imagine having that many relatives under one roof.

    And I thought I came from a big family.

    Whoa.

  • Jaina


    Eww, the thought of that makes my stomach turn. I have a pretty big extended family, but having enough food has never really been an issue. Sounds like yours outnumbers mine though. But gray bacon and cottage cheese milk?

  • Kimmylyn


    I just threw up in my mouth.. blah.. gross.

  • Kathy


    What? No picture?

  • Jodi


    What’s not to love about gray bacon? LMAO!

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    I’m one of 8, the last in fact, the second accident….

    and gray bacon, that just means it’s matured, right?

  • HRD


    My husband’s mom is one of seven I blelive and that does make for some interesting get togethers. When we started dating it was hard to keep up with all the uncles aunts, cosins and so forth. I am not sure if I still have them all right.

  • Mandy


    My dad is one of seven, my mil one of 11. Yep. I have heard everything you mentioned. But geay bacon? E to the W!!!!! I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. *shudder*

  • Roz


    How gray? A little? Half? ALL gray? Unless it’s still gray AFTER you fry it, I’m with Mr. Momo!

    But I’m the youngest in a family of nine.

  • amy t sharp


    yuckers.
    you have pretty high standards though.

  • Bean


    I thought of the bratwurst as soon as I read the title!

  • jenny from mommin' it up!


    oy! this reminds me of an older lady i know who eats every part of the thanksiving turkey….and I do mean every part. ack!!

  • holly


    i don’t think i’ve ever *seen* gray bacon!

    but anything that goes blue i steer clear of. blue = bad.

    oh MAN i’m dying for a card game. i don’t live by any card-playing relatives, damnit!! solitaire just ain’t all that fun! grow up children! learn to spot 15s at 20 paces! figure out what the heck a run is! what do they teach you at that school anyway?!?!

  • holly


    (sorry, i was talking to *my* children, not calling all you lot children.)(just to be clear).

  • AlisonH


    Growing up, we had a family two doors down with 11 kids and cousins who were the only two kids their parents had had. They were picky eaters, too. So their mom sent them to their cousins’ for a week, where no snacking between meals was allowed. Any time they turned up their nose and said ooh, I don’t like that, there were plenty of other kids to say, well, I do!

    By the second day they ate everything put in front of them.

    I always thought the mom of the bigger brood should hire her family out for teaching others’ kids like that. It worked.

  • HRH


    I need him to come over tomorrow and clean out my fridge.

  • Katy


    Your husband sounds like mine. “Let daddy eat that, he has an iron stomach.”

  • Our Crooked Tree


    My dad is one of eight and he says the same thing of his childhood. Growing up he would eat all teh leftovers; we called him the garbage disposal.

  • nola


    He should meet my grandfather! Sounds like a wonderful family (food peccadilloes aside) to have married into!

  • Ashley


    Gross. I’m going to be sick. My husband eats food he isn’t supposed to and lets the food we bought specifically FOR him go bad. Often. Funny how that works, actually. I’ve started to assign food, so to speak.

    I’d love to have a huge family…but I would def. need some major cash …and, um…someone else to give birth…

  • Maureen


    Ewwwww… hubby tries that on me sometimes too. There is NO WAY I will eat anything I even suspect is bad or off. I’d rather throw it AWAY than throw it UP.

  • Shamelessly Sassy


    I come from a small family, and my husband a large family. So sometimes, at get togethers for holidays with his family, I nearly go into shock from the volume level.

  • The Immoral Matriarch


    *dry heaves*

  • Melisa


    EWWWW!

    Just lost my appetite.

  • Heather


    My FIL once ate deviled eggs that were over a month old.
    My dad often thaws meat at room temp (and never gets sick.) I learned years ago to ask “who made this?” at my parents house before I actually eat it. One of the reasons I don’t drink milk is because my dad always forgot to put the milk away after he used it and it would be sitting out for hours. No wonder I am so picky about expiration dates. Ugh.

  • Natalie


    reading the post kinda turned my stomach, but reading the comments pushed me over the edge! food, even good, non-spoiled food, doesn’t even sound good now!

  • OHmommy


    I hate to waste too. I have my own limits for dairy and meat.

    Did you see that Oprah? Where people around NYC, young and educated people, searched through Whole Food dumpsters?

  • Amy


    Gag.

  • Laura


    My husband is the complete opposite. As soon as a product reaches its “sell by” date, he pitches it. Drives me INSANE!

  • Lisa


    Actually food does last five days after the expiration (eggs longer) so you are fine mommy–your husband–how the heck did bacon stick around so long to even get grey?!

  • suchsimplepleasures


    my hubby came from a family of only 5 kids. but…he is able to stomach foods that have long since expired…for the very same reasons as your hubby! then there is me. if the milk says it expires tomorrow…i throw it out. even if it doesn’t smell…because there is nothing worse than sour milk…or cheese that is ABOUT to turn moldy. i’m an expiration date snob…what can i say!!
    xoxo

  • LiteralDan


    My stomach gurgled at reading “gray bacon”, due to some bad experiences with spoiled food. That’s just too much.

    I totally agree with most of the things you listed. Good thing you are around to help balance out the madness.

  • Hottdog


    LOL! Momo-you are too funny!

  • Christi


    I’ve taught my husband to leave the refrigerator alone. I choose what he gets to know about in there.

    If I want to hide anything from him (cookies, beer, checkbook) I stick it in the back of the fridge.

  • Birdie


    UGH! I guess he’s built up some fantastic resistance or something. Ew! I’m like you, I’ll eat the older eggs & sour cream etc…nothing growing stuff though adn nothign that’s been left out on the counter for more than two hours. People who leave Pizza out all night and eat it the next day are askin’ for it.

  • tenakim


    yep, I know it well. My dad is from a family of 13 and I waas born when he and my mom were only 16- so I essentially grew up around the masses. I will not and cannot waste anything- and my husband won’t even eat leftovers! You can imagine my distress!

  • Sogeshirtsguy


    eww grey bacon. Yeah the bigger the family the more people at the trough. My family events its so hard to get any food at all we always have so many people so often I eat before I go.

  • transfattyacid


    My dad was the youngest of nine – there were eleven but two died – and my childhood was spent attending weddings.

    I am the youngest of – I think – 28 cousins.

    The thing is that I do kind of understand where you are coming from on this – but I from my persective I seem to have spent most pof my life trying to understand the politics within the family and working out who I should and should speak to, about what topics.

  • Dette


    eew. I’m a wuss – milk, eggs and everything else get tossed at EXP date.

    If I see it.

    I’ve been known to have keep some old, smelly stuff in the fridge for too long. Or even the freezer.

    A roast that’s 2 years old?

    Blech.

  • Backpacking Dad


    If you wait long enough maybe the bacon will turn brown.

    Then it’s like it’s cooked already :}

    Might still smell gray, though.

  • Michael C


    Gray Bacon?? Lordy I hope that color comes from the bacon fat or bacon grease. Ugh

  • Jeremy (Discovering Dad)


    Oh Momo, I cannot bring myself to eat anything that looks remotely spoiled, aged, molded or curdled. Your husband most definitely has a stomach of steel!

  • secret agent mama


    My husband is the same is Laura’s. Sell by date reached. It’s out!

    My mom, however, is like your husband. It scares me, really. LOL

    Me= I’m somewhere in the middle.

  • Ed (zoesdad)


    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  • Mimi aka pz5wjj


    rofl!

    Yeah, food waste is a big no-no to my DH, but he’s a germ freak.

    But he hates leftovers! Throws them all away. Apparently, the small sized fridges in England never made room for “Left over night” at dinner.

    But when I once asked him if he had salad at dinner time growing up he said, “You know my mom, she never made anything exotic.” We are talking about SALAD!!!

  • A Buns Life


    What’s the verdict on slimy lunch meat?

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    we find the slimy lunch meat…NOT GUILTY…

    sharp intake of breath….

    …in the criminal justice system…

  • Dapoppins


    ummmm. Gray?

  • Half-Past Kissin' Time


    I’m number 7 of 9, and I can add something to the list of “issues,” such as the fact that when you are at the bottom of the heap, you end up with the dishes more often (and we did not have a dishwasher!) However, we did have more money by the time I was in high school and the four older brothers were out of the house (it smelled better, too.)

  • soapbox mom


    I don’t blame you. Heck, I won’t even eat reddish brownish bacon, so you better believe I would never touch gray bacon.

    But, seriously, I like the notion of minimizing waste. I hate tossing the old lettuce or bad zucchini. We have about six really, really ripe bananas on the counter right now and I keep saying I’m going to make banana bread. But, when do I have the time? I think I just saw some fruit flies…

  • Michelle


    You know, I’m jealous. I think I’d eat any kind of dubious-possibly-gone-off food to be part of such a large family.

  • Christine @ Serenity How?


    My husband is the same way. He’s the fourth out of five kids. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten seriously ill yet, but so far so good. Gag! 😛

  • Jo Beaufoix


    Momo, I’m gagging here, Bleurghhhhh.

  • Sleeping Beauty


    My husband does the same thing with left overs. I remember buying bacon one time (forgetting about it) when I went to finally go cook it I seen it was gray. I did not think that could be good so I threw it away. If I would not have seen it, my husband probably would of cooked it, served it and not said a darn word!

  • Piper of Love


    Didn’t ask for a dime, TWO DOLLARS!

    Wait, that was slimy green bacon.

  • Jen E


    ((shudder)) gray bacon!! ugh!! no way!!!

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