He Got The Coke, But Not The Smile

posted by Momo Fali on May 17, 2008

My daughter is begging us to take her to the new Narnia movie, but unfortunately for her, we rarely go to the theater anymore.

My husband and I used to go to the movies all the time before our kids were born. Sometimes, two or more a week. Now we’re lucky if we see that many in a year.

Given the fact that I could buy five days worth of groceries…or for crying out loud, ONE tank of gas, for what it costs to take our family to the theater, we tend to just buy the DVD and stay home to watch flicks. You know…where the screen is smaller, but the floor is just as sticky.

It’s not only the money. I also like to stay home because I am a bit of a germophobe and I have a hard time sitting within the vicinity of someone coughing or sniffling.

Plus there are talkers, and seat kickers, and people who need to get out of their aisle saying, “Excuse me. Excuse me.” There are popcorn munchers and wrapper crunchers, and occasionally some buffoon who forgot to set his phone to vibrate.

But despite all that, there are some movies you just have to see 40 feet wide. The shark in Jaws, or the boulder rolling after Indiana Jones…well, they just don’t look the same on a TV screen.

One such movie was Saving Private Ryan. I will never forget the silence in the completely sold-out theater during the first scene. Twenty-four excruciating minutes of well-portrayed violence detailing the U.S. invasion of Normandy.

Everyone’s eyes were glued to the screen and it turned out that was a good thing, because my husband made the biggest movie faux pas I’ve ever seen. He put the munchers, crunchers, and seat kickers to shame.

As he stared wide-eyed and straight ahead, he picked up a Coke and drank it. Only it wasn’t his Coke…and it wasn’t mine either. And, when I leaned over to tell him he was drinking some stranger’s soda, he simply slipped it back into the cup holder, and the stranger was none the wiser.

Considering the price of the tickets, I was actually glad he got a free drink out of the deal.

    Comments

  • amy t sharp


    love the line about the floor- and holy yucky about sipping and sharing!

  • Jolly Green Dad


    Now THAT is a funny story about the Coke drink. How many times at parties have we forgotten which drink was ours?

  • Katy


    I take it your hubby is not a germophobe.

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    Eeeuw.

    Up to the beginning of ’06 here in Holland, you were allowed smoke in the cinema…

  • Toni


    Ha! Ha! I haven’t stolen someone else’s soda before, but once I grabbed the wrong shopping cart by mistake. I was so embarrassed that I left it by the milk (figuring they’d show up there sooner or later) and went hunting for my own cart!

  • LiteralDan


    I take it you guys are going to make one of your movies this year be the next Indiana Jones movie? Just don’t sit next to me!

    It’s funny enough that he was grabbing a drink when everyone else was totally silent and still. Maybe he thought it was going to waste?

  • Jo Beaufoix


    Eughhhw, I bet you were glad it wasn’t you, hee hee. Was the person next to him, you know, clean looking?
    Shivers.
    And was the film good? I can’t wait to see it. 😀

  • Natalie


    i would have been so uncomfortable in that movie i am afraid. anything serious like that i have to see at home on the small screen. i have to stop it to process what i am seeing or be able to watch from the doorway ready to escape if i can’t handle it. i rarely go to the movies because of it. and it doesn’t matter if the movie is scary or just serious. someone recommended sixth sense so my sister and i saw it at the theater. big mistake. i couldn’t wait for it to come out on dvd so i could rent it since i hadn’t had time to process it the first time. i am such a thinking weirdo.

  • Dapoppins


    DO NOT go read my current post…!

    I got a deal at a small movie theater for cheeper tickets…5$ a pop instead of 10. I love to see big budget films on the big screen. Our t.v at home is tiny…however, the food gas thing…that is a priority. My husband and I were trying to figure out what the heck happened to his pay check this month and last month…

    food and gas…WOW.

  • Kiera


    I can just picture that scene unfolding in the dark theater…I cant stop laughing (quietly of course!).

  • Jenna Consolo


    Momo, I LOVE your blog. I just caught up on the last many posts that I’d missed, and I adored every one of them. You are a great writer with a keen eye for the amusing STUFF of life. So entertaining! Thanks for that!

  • transfattyacid


    Me and the missus used to go to the pictures a lot, but we don’t go anymore – it’s a long story, but basically the people running the place are a bunch of wallys.

    It was a pretty art house kind of place, and we saw South Pacific in widescreen – which included the original B film that went with – the film was there so that your eyes could get used to the size of the screen, and a was basically a journey around the world – the bit I remember was of an American jet taking off form an air craft carrier and flying over Lebanon, with the narrator saying that the Americans had solved the problems of Lebanon on 1952 – everyone in the audience had a laugh at that one.

    I should point out that the cinema had a problem with the projectionist who constantly forgot to turn on the sound.

    So when we went to see Hidden – or Cache to give it’s French title – there was much shifting in hte seats because the film starts with about five minutes of a shot of a house with no sound and a couple of people went to have a word with the projectionist.

    As for Private Ryan, I know what you mean about the opening – if you ignore the contimnuity problems – one minute the sea is full of ships and barrage ballons and the next it isn’t – oh and I also find it hard to believe that wandered around empty countryside when at the time there were about a million men going hammer and tongs at each other in a bridgehead about ten miles wide – but Hidden is definitely the best film I have seen at the cinema. For the last twenty minutes I was literally gripping the edge of my seat in terror at what was to happen.

  • Stella


    What a great story! You are so very right about needing to see that movie on the giant screen. We got there late for Private Ryan and ended up in the front row. We watched that first scene and when it ended my one friend leaned over to my other friend, a male, and asked him when exactly he turned 18 because she was pretty sure he would be registering for the service. He proceeded to throw MY soda at her.

  • Jeremy (Discovering Dad)


    Oh, Momo! I am right there with you on the slight germophobe sentiments! I hate sitting on seats that I can’t see, eating popcorn that some dude who just handled grimey money scooped into paper bucket, while drinking coke from a soda machine that you know hasn’t been cleaned in months and contains all kinds of pink algae growing inside the lines, topped off by using a wonderful public restroom with piss all over the seat. Other than that, though, the movie theaters are GREAT! We buy the movie or watch it OnDemand too. 😉

  • Bec


    LMAO! Well what are you going to do? Lean over and say “I do beg your pardon. I appear to have consumed your beverage”??

    We don’t go to the movies much either. The last movie went to see at the theatre was Harry Potter and the movie that was coming out that year.

  • Amy


    Too funny!

    We LOVE the movies and yes it is a small fortune. Lucky for us we have a drive-in about 10 minutes away. The girls love it! And we sneak in our snacks and Cokes and maybe even a little something to put in them!

  • Maureen


    Oh, yeah. There are some movies you just HAVE to see on the big screen… and Indy is next.

    Can’t wait.

    And thanks for reminding me to keep my hand on my drink 😉

  • ShannanB


    Ewww. That would have freaked me out.

    The first thirty minutes of SPR are really hard to watch. I get emotional just htinking about that movie.

  • Ed (zoesdad)


    So that’s what happened to my drink!

  • Jared


    Gross! Luckily some Coke is all he got…no lip sores, etc. 😀

    We were at the theater (pre-Ace) and a group of hoodlums in front of us pulled out their 40s and were passing a joint back and forth. Didn’t take long for the cops to show up and “confiscate” the evidence. 😀

  • Bee


    The hubs and I go to the first show and sit all the way in the back row right in the middle.

    This helps with the price sicne the first showing is cheaper and we don’t have to deal with people kicking our seats or getting up to go to the bathroom.

    The one time we went to a 7:00pm show, we almost fell asleep! ;o)

  • Sleeping Beauty


    Too funny about what your husband did. I would of had to leave the theather because I would of been a “hysterical laugher” if my honey did that LOL. I miss going to the movies with just my husband. 🙁

  • Shamelessly Sassy


    “You know…where the screen is smaller, but the floor is just as sticky.” haha best sentence ever. So true at my house.

  • Selma


    It’s the snacks that are the most expensive, I find. I rarely go to the movies either because every time I do I get stuck in front of a seat-kicker. EVERY time. Drives me crazy. I don’t get why they do it because I am so conscious of not invading someone else’s space. It has spoiled many a film for me. BTW, that is funny about the Coke. Hahaha.

  • Heidi


    We don’t go to the movies either, unless someone gives us tickets as a gift. 😉 For me though, it’s more I’m too ADD to sit still for that long! 🙂
    Too funny about the Coke- I did something similar at a party last week- I don’t think anyone noticed then either! 🙂

  • Cheffie-Mom


    Thats VERY funny. I’ve never stolen someones drink but once my daughter and I were at the movies and as we were leaving she wanted to use the bathroom. I stood back next to a woman who looked like she was waiting for someone and as I stood there my daughter came running out. She had accidently walked into the men’s restroom and had startled the womans husband that was standing next to me. LOL. she was mortified…crazy things can happen at the movies!! I really love reading your posts. Sorry I have not been blogging lately! I have been taping shows which I am excited about because I was able to post them on my blog YAY!! If you get a chance to check it out, then let me know what you think. The more feedback I get the better I can make the segments Also, your stories are great and my whole idea behind this show is for other moms to share real stories like you do. Anyway, I’d love to hear from you.

  • Immoral Matriarch


    Did you make him brush his teeth before you kissed him again?

  • nola


    At least he put it back and didn’t finish it!!

  • Kimmylyn


    That is hysterical.. (of course because it happened and it did not happen to me.. hahaha)

    My son is begging to see that movie too.. I would love to go but the price of gas and the tickets would kill me.. 🙂

  • Chrissy Johnson


    That is FANTASTIC. What if he looked over, and it was Tom Hanks sitting next to him? And it was his Coke?

  • Melisa


    EEEW!

    I guess it’s good that he didn’t run screaming from the theater…

  • meleah rebeccah


    your husband drinking someone elses soda is classic.

    I rarely go to the movies either, for the exact same reasons you have posted.

    Its waaay to expensive (and dirty!)

  • Lisa


    I am recovering germaphob–the coke story scares me 😉
    I just took the kids to see the Narnia movie–matinee price of course!

  • Birdie


    Ewww! *L* Big Daddy would have forced himself to vomit. He’s like you…a germ-a-phobe worse than I!
    We saw Jurassic Park & Schindler’s List in the theaters…I left hating Germans (even though some of that German blood runs through my veins). You’re right, there are just some movies you must see in theaters.

  • holly


    noooooo!!! this never happens to us because we are so opposite of high brow that we (smuggle our own drinks in) (our own treats, too).

    seriously, that or remortgage the house. which i’m not doin’.

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