Yesterday, Oprah hosted Tom Cruise as they celebrated his 25 years in the film industry. It’s hard to believe, considering he looks like he’s fourteen. In the absence of couch-jumping, they discussed how perfect his life is.
After he surprised a fan in the audience, it was time for the tables to be turned. Tom’s Hollywood buddies surprised him by making video clips to congratulate him on his career.
First, Will and Jada talked about how “real” Tom is. Only, they didn’t call him Tom, they called him T.C., and those are not accurate initials, because Tom’s “real” last name is Mapother. That makes him kind of real…like pleather.
Then, Jada explained how her hair had been chopped of in a bad weed-whacking accident.
Next, the audience saw Renee Zellweger’s greeting. She told us how Tom was born with some kind of “magic”. Black magic.
And in an uncanny twist, Renee declared her hair had also been chopped off by a weed-whacker.
A video clip from David and Victoria Beckham revealed that when David opens his mouth to talk, he’s not as cute as you thought he was. Mr. Rogers called, he wants his cardigan back.
Becks explained that he enjoys being Tom’s friend because they like to play a game called Guess Which Wife is Yours.
After the show, Tom called the audience glib then went back to his perfect life.