Oprah Cliffs Notes IV

posted by Momo Fali on May 22, 2008

On yesterday’s Oprah, we met six individuals suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, also known as OCD. Though, if you really have this disorder, you know it should be referred to as CDO, so the letters are in nice, neat, alphabetical order.

Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Jonathan Grayson took these individuals to OCD Boot Camp, where they were forced to deal with their anxieties. Most of them had an aversion to being touched and to germs, so Dr. Grayson started them off with a group hug, so they could cross contaminate each other.

Then Dr. Grayson had everyone get down on their knees, put their hands on the floor, and lick their fingers.

Meet Brian. Brian was so afraid of germs that he constantly kept his left hand in his pocket, and he was so scared to sit on the toilet in his own home, that he would go to the bathroom in his yard. Dr. Grayson thought this wasn’t normal behavior and explained Brian’s course of therapy was to rub his hands along a toilet seat, and then lick his fingers. Because that is normal, and Brian needs to get on the right track. As you can see by the look on his face, Brian clearly wanted to stay on the wrong track.

Next, the good doctors took the six people into Philadelphia where they found two sticky and smelly trash cans. One woman said they contained a mixture of cat feces, old food and vomit. Mmmmmmm. Dr. Grayson had Brian touch the inside of the trash can, then…you guessed it…lick his fingers.

After the Boot Camp the participants said they felt much better, but they strongly felt that Dr. Grayson needed to get some help.


  • NukeDad

    I don’t have OCD, sorry, I mean; CDO, but I can guarantee you that I don’t need to lick my toilet seat to convince myself. Good Gravy.

  • Kori

    I am totally not concerned about germs, do not feel the need to wash my hands all of the time, have even been known to pick the cat hair off of a sucker and give it bakc to the baby after it has fallen on the floor. However, I do have a toilet issue, in that it doesn’t matter if the rest of the bathroom is trashed, the toilet is always clean. Even so, I would rather cut off my left arm than EVER lick my fingers after touching the toilet. Eeeew….

  • Philly

    Too bad they didn’t find any half eaten cheese steaks in them trash cans.

  • LiteralDan

    I hate to sound like a teenaged girl, but oh. my. god! I assume my wife still has this on the DVR, so I absolutely must watch it later.

    What’s with all the licking?? I know there are other ways to address these things– licking cat shit should be the extreme solution. What if they actually DO become horribly ill?! That’s just going to make their problems worse.

    I don’t have huge germ issues, but I definitely have OCD. A search of the tag OCD at my blog will just give you a glimpse of the very tip of the tip of that iceberg.

    And let me just say: shudder.

  • MamaMo

    That is the most disgusting thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m have no fear of germs (I’ll even eat food that’s been left out on the counter overnight, much to my husband’s chagrin), but this sounds more like Fear Factor stuff than actual therapy.

  • meleah rebeccah

    There would be No Way In Hell I could have ever dealt with any of that.

    I am a complete germaphobe and I totally have OCD cleaning needs.

    But..I think that DR is the crazy one

  • Misty

    seriously! I do not get that— at all. WEIRD! But then again, not an oprah fan so I am not surprised she’d like this lick happy guy!

  • nola

    Pls tell my this is all a joke. Eww.

  • Rachel

    That is beyond disgusting. Seriously.
    I’ve always thought OZ needed help, now I’m sure of it.
    I think someone has taken the real Oprah and replaced her with a crazy robot chick.

  • Tara R.

    Seriously… the good doctor sounds a little whacked. My son has a mild form of OCD, licking his fingers has never played into it. Eeewww!

  • Amy

    That doc was a nutjob. I wouldn’t touch my own toilet and lick my fingers, much less someone else’s. If that’s what “cured” looks like, well, I’d much rather be sick!!

  • Kiera

    What? Wait no, WHAT?? This so called doctor sounds like a total quack. I cant believe that he really had these poor CDO (haha, love that!) patients lick there hands after touching the most hideous surfaces known to man. That is totally messed up!

  • Ms Picket To You

    Saw the show. Was fine before. Now I totally have OCD. He gave it to me.

  • Smart A$$ Mom

    seriously; is Oprah so hard up for ratings she had to go all Fear Factor on us?!

  • Lisa

    Where the heck did he get his MD? The trash?

    Worried one of these finger lickers might be in my state….

  • secret agent mama

    Yeah, that’s just bunk.

  • paul

    Uh, EW. You have to be kidding me.

    No, really. Please tell me you’re joking. 😛

  • Jamie E

    omgoodness! seriously? So, getting TB from licking contaminated hands is supposed to cure them how????

    Apparently this doc got ahold of my friends kid…

  • Angela

    LOL about the CDO….how true is that?! Great post!

  • Jaina

    Haha, I think the Dr. is a little crazy too.

  • Jo Beaufoix

    oh my Bob, were they trained therapists or just germ loving pervs? Shivers.

  • Mrs. Schmitty

    That doctor definitely needs some help. That’s disgusting.

    I don’t have germ issues, but I know I have some ocd tendencies. And you are right, it should be CDO!

  • okiesister

    I never have understood why handwashing and avoidance of germs was considered a disorder.
    I don’t usually watch Oprah, but the subject matter caught my attention and I recorded it.
    I’ll be deleting it now because I can’t watch people touching trash or toilets. That’s just gross.

  • Dapoppins

    goodness. Is this why he is called Dr. Oz? cause that is the land he is from? I just don’t have anything funny to say about this.

    I am never going to therapy. It is dangerous.

  • Melisa

    Just to throw something else out there…I once heard (I think on Oprah, actually: The women from “How Clean is Your House?” were on) that your kitchen sink actually has more bacteria in it than your toilet does.

    Ick. Doesn’t make me want to lick the toilet, though.

  • DysFUNctional Mom

    There’s no way in hell he’d have gotten me to lick any of that crap. I’d rather be broken than fixed like that, TYVM!

  • Heather

    What? You mean he didn’t make them stick their fingers up each others bungholes and lick that?

    I totally have OCD, but more the O part than the C part. I do count things, things have to be “categorized”. I have strange ideas in my head. I have not so much a fear of germs, as I do of other things I won’t go into here. BUT, even if I doused my toilet in bleach, then touched it, then stuck my hand in boiling water, I would NOT.LICK.MY.HAND. That is just sickening no matter WHAT. I can’t believe any of them did it. I woulda put my foot so far up his a– I wouldn’t get my shoe back. Then I’d make HIM lick it.

  • Ok, Where Was I?

    OMG, I almost lost it on the toilet seat thing. and the cat poop. I’m throwing up a little now.

    You’re hilarious.

  • Jen E

    I’m not OCD or germaphobic but I AM a microbiologist and I would definitely NOT be touching any of those things much less licking my fingers afterwards!!! EWWW!!!

  • Our Crooked Tree

    This guy sounds like a hypnotist more than therapist.

  • Monica

    Why oh why did these people comply????? On national television, no less!

    THIS is the kind of thing that gets me seriously worried about our wacked out culture.


  • MommyTime

    A) disgusting
    B) insane doctor whose “therapy” will no doubt produce a need for further (real) therapy
    C) you are hilarious!

  • Toni

    OMG. I am not obsessive-compulsive, but after something like that…I would be!!!!

    (P.S. Tell your husband that my husband says it only SOUNDS fun to be married to me during the crazy experiments. He has to do them right along with me, so……)

  • Amy

    That is about the grossest thing ever!! I agree the Dr. needs a little help!

  • Natalie

    well now. i must say i am glad i live in turkey where we can’t get oprah if that is what she is showing! i do know that dr. oz is turkish. they would never do the licking thing here! unless they poured lemon cologne all over their hands first!


  • Bec

    Licking as therapy? Some people would be really down with that. Not me just the thought of TOUCHING a dumpster gives me the heebies there’s no freaking way I’d be licking my hands!! That’s just INSANE!

    Peeing in the backyard does have it’s appeal. You wouldn’t need to clean the loo at least.

  • wornoutwoman

    Ewwwwwwwww! I’m so glad I skipped that one. That’s so gross. I can think of many other ways that aren’t as extreme to help those poor people, but it’s only an hour show so…I guess they had to make it extreme to fit it all in and make it entertaining. Although I don’t consider that entertaining.

  • Jolly Green Dad

    All I can say is Ewwwww..licking you hands like that….Ewwww

  • Bee Repartee

    Why, I lick my hands all day long.

  • jennifer

    Dude! How did I miss this??? I love crazy people.

  • Birdie

    loved the CDO thing…that was a very good point *L* Oprah’s such a loon (not that she doesn’t give to charities) and so’s her friendly Dr guest.

  • Sogeshirtsguy

    Most people have OCD Oprah Compulsive Disorder. Anything she touches turn to gold so it makes perfect sense.

  • holly

    i *f-ing* love you.

    this is the point that i had to roll over and laugh uncontrollably:
    “Because that is normal, and Brian needs to get on the right track”

    oh my bob!

    if poo-licking is what it takes to stay on the right track? i think i prefer the wrong track too.

    my husband’s name is brian.

    thankfully, it’s a different one. i don’t kiss poo-lickers.

  • Crazed Mom

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Thanks so much for sharing. LOL.

    aka JaniceNW

  • Chrissy Johnson

    Oh, Oprah. And all the feces her show talks about. She’s soooooooooo full of feces. She could probably single-handedly stop the recession with the funds she gets pimping Gail, but she won’t do it. Instead, she has people licking their fingers. The ole perv.

  • Pinky

    Then they all checked into the nearest in-patient facility for the next 7-10 days. Brilliant.
    THIS is why I have boycotted Oprah….and a few other reasons.
    😉 You rock, Momo!!!!!!!

  • Amber

    I’m no clean freak but that is disgusting! Seriously people will do anything if you say, ‘Oprah says…’ She’s not on my favorite list.

  • Jill

    Huh, Dr. Grayson must have gone to school with my therapist. He’s always making me lick his penis. I wonder what I’m supposed to be overcoming.

  • Whiney Momma

    Now I feel icky all over. I am going to take a friggin shower. Thanks!

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