I’m Glad My Feet Didn’t Shine

posted by Momo Fali on June 16, 2008

We just got back from a weekend at an amusement park on the Lake Erie shore. That’s right. My husband is the type of guy who spends his Father’s Day schlepping kids around a hot, sticky, crowded park just so he can watch them smile. (Insert “Aw” here.)

This particular park has an indoor roller coaster that my daughter really wanted to ride, so I volunteered to take her. The waiting line weaved through a building illuminated with black-lights.

Upon entering, everyone wearing white tennis shoes and shirts began to glow. People had florescent eyeballs and when they smiled it was with neon teeth.

I, however, wasn’t wearing anything white. Instead the black-light revealed dirt…all over my shirt. Dirt and amusement park grime which had not been visible outside. It looked like I had removed my top, laid it on the ground and let my six year old stomp all over it.

Because I had been holding my son earlier, every mark from his sandals was imprinted like bad graphics. There were marks from roller coaster seat-belts, and shoulder restraints too.

So, while everyone else was positively glowing, I felt contaminated ala Meryl Streep in Silkwood.

I have always thought that the shower after an amusement park visit is the best shower you can take. Now I don’t just think it…I know it.


  • Dette

    The black light of horror shows the real skinny, doesn’t it?

    lol – but it sure sounds like you guys had a blast!

  • Tenakim

    Black lights are satan’s doin’- you ever see one of those things up against your face- the devil, I tell ya!

  • Half-Past Kissin' Time

    Well, it could be worse. It could light up areas of fat deposits; YIKES!

  • Half-Past Kissin' Time

    Oops. Not that YOU have any fat. I have no idea; you’re probably a marathon runner with ripped thighs and a washboard stomach! I was only referring to myself, haha!

  • LiteralDan

    At least all your skin wasn’t glowing neon, like mine would be.

  • AlisonH

    There was a For Better or For Worse strip, years ago, where the kids go off to the fair with their Uncle Phil, and one rats out the other going, look what they got on their clothes. Phil goes, That’s no good. Here. And he smears his ketchup and lets Lizzie fingerpaint with it on her shirt. “No one will know we went to the fair if I take you home clean!”

    I had that one on my fridge for years.

  • Kori

    Oh, man, no kidding. You gotta love those balck lights; nothing like it to make you feel like you have been in the pit of filth.

  • Natalie

    that is hilarious! i wouldn’t have even thought about how dirty i must be until i saw the filth. then i would have felt gross the whole rest of the time i was there!

  • Tara R.

    Awww… your hubs is a great dad! I guess next time I go to the park I need to wear a black shirt. That was hilarious!

  • Lisa

    Was it Cedar Point? I am dying to go right now–all we have is a crappy Six Flags πŸ™
    I know how you feel about the after park shower–best cleaning EVER!

  • Misty

    oh my goodness! hilarious… I would have been thinking about those hotels with the black light crime scenes…

  • Sogeshirtsguy

    Just one of the amusement perks.

  • Ed (zoesdad)

    I feel all itchy now.

  • Melisa

    ABSOLUTELY. This is my least favorite thing about going to Six Flags. I feel so…gross afterwards!

  • Ms Picket To You

    this just proves that the realm of amusement parks, carnivals, roller rinks, what have you are the realm of… dads.

  • Immoral Matriarch

    Black lights. Oh the memories…

  • MommyTime

    Ack! Black light teeth. I remember those. I’ll never look at my amusement park clothes the same again (till they’re fumigated).

  • Coral

    Ew! Black lights never show anything good.

  • Melinda Zook

    OMG, I know that feeling…I almost feel like taking a shower now too.

  • DysFUNctional Mom

    Oh, ew! Funny though.

  • Manager Mom

    Yeah… Carny Grime is the worst…

  • amy t sharp

    gross and true xo

  • Tom

    I wonder if Oprah’s OCD guy would lick a roller coaster seat. Probably not.

  • chefmom

    Ahhh, black lights. They show the worst things!! I’m just curious, but did you look like a cool CSI Scene? I bet they could have recreated your whole day…..
    And your husband is crazy. Mine was a statue on the couch that we all just moved around.

  • Mandy

    Oh how fun! I would LOVE to go back there, stains and all. ha ha! We do Holiday World around here now, but since I used to be from around them there parts (tee hee!), we used to frequent the “Eerie shore” park. πŸ™‚ Love it. And that indoor ride. So much fun.

  • Jamie Willow

    there was a store in the mall of america once upon a time that had a black light room with space stuff in it for sale. I could see where my laundry detergent hadn’t quite washed out after I’d poured it directly onto my jeans (i know i know put it in with just the water first and then add clothes…blah blah sure). It also revealed who was wearing a white bra under their darker colored clothing…lol…talk about headlights! hehe

  • O My Blog!

    Again, people are forgetting the real point here, you looked like MERYL STREEP!! Who wouldn’t want to emulate her!! πŸ˜‰

  • Twenty Four At Heart

    I have never heard of an indoor roller coaster? Maybe because I live in Calif. and absolutely everything happens outdoors year round?

  • Jenna Consolo

    I’m staying far away from THAT amusement park! I don’t want to know how dirty I am!

  • Maureen

    Oh noes! That is so funny, though… thanks for the tip; I’ll remember to change before glow bowling.

  • Laski

    “amusement park grime” Ewwww . . .

    Hopefully you didn’t have to decontaminate yourself like Karen Silkwood. OMG, I actually remember the character’s name!

    Think of it this way, you’re building up immunities, icky as it may be. Right???

    Or, how about, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger πŸ™‚

  • Bee Repartee

    At least they weren’t glowy handprints right over your boobs. See? That would happen to me.

    “Gee, thanks dear for groping me while ‘no one was looking'”

  • Jo Beaufoix

    I thought you were going to say you had a white bra under your black top. Now that would have been really bad.

  • Jaina

    I’ve never been a fan of that particular effect of black lights, though I like the glowing part of it.

    And you clearly have an amazing husband, hands down. πŸ™‚

  • Caffeine Court

    The blacklight is an absolute nightmare if you have dandruff! Yuk.

    We spent our Father’s Day at the Bronx Zoo. Damn he’s a good dad!

  • holly

    sorry – we’re supposed to shower after the amusement park visit? jeeeez. okay. brb.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Karen Silkwood reference killed me. HAHAHHAHA

  • Birdie

    oh my gosh, that’s gross! Who knew?

  • SoapyB

    tee-hee…that is (sorry) a little funny, Momo. I mean, ahem, *clearing throat* I’m sorry. That must have been uncomfortable.


    Leave a Comment

    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *