Archive for June, 2008

Chaka, Chaka…Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan

posted by Momo Fali on June 23, 2008

I’m not laughing at her. I’m laughing WITH the anchorman.

Go Ahead…Make My Day

posted by Momo Fali on June 20, 2008

Within our group of friends we have an odd quirk of quoting movie lines. Okay, truth be told, we have a lot of quirks, but this is the only one I feel comfortable putting on internet display.

These quotes? Well mind you, they’re never anything intellectual, but more of the Fletch, Three Amigos, or Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure variety. We’re deep like that.

The movie’s we pull script from may be cheesy, but we take our lines seriously. You aren’t allowed to screw them up.

Once, while urging some friends to hurry, I took a line from Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring and said, “Run you fools”, when Gandalf’s line is actually, “Fly you fools”. By the looks on their faces, you’d think I had French-kissed my brother.

That was six years ago and they still haven’t let me forget it. They have also taken some liberties and claim I said something like, “Get the lead out you goofballs” or “Trot along you loonies”. This is the grief I’ve endured for being ever so slightly off.

Another friend was chastised for butchering a line from the movie-quote-abundant Dumb and Dumber. What should’ve been, “Big Gulps, huh? Well, see you later came out as, “Big Gulps, huh? Well, gotta go”. Oh, the shame. For the love of coffee! If you’re going be quoting, you have to be closer than that.

The following are movie lines I quote most often.

From Princess Bride:
When sending people on their way
…”Have fun storming the castle!”

From Dirty Dancing:
When my ideas are shot down
…“He wouldn’t know a new idea if it hit him in the Pachenga.” Frequently modified to, “He wouldn’t know a good idea if it hit him in the Pachenga.” I figure that’s an allowable modification, since nobody ever knows what I’m talking about.

When I’ve carried a watermelon…“I carried a watermelon.”

When I look around my basement or rummage through my purse…“Such junk…such junk.”

From Dumb and Dumber:
When things aren’t going well or I have a lot to do
…”Our pets’ heads are falling off!”

When I’ll be right back…”Don’t you go dying on me!”

When taking medicine…“Pills are good. Pills are gooooood!”

When I’m beating someone at a game…“You are one pathetic loser. No offense.”

There, now I’ve shared mine. It’s time for you boys and girls to do the same. What is your favorite movie quote? Please share, so that pathetic loser thing doesn’t come back and bite me in the rear.

Don’t Forget To Tip Your Waitress

posted by Momo Fali on June 18, 2008

At the amusement park last weekend, my six year old son felt it was his duty to provide in-line entertainment. He was working the crowd like a miniature Rodney Dangerfield.

At one point, a woman who was about five people back, looked at my son and said, “You are adorable!”

My overly dramatic kid let his jaw drop open, then he pointed at his chest as he feigned astonishment and asked, “Me?! You think I’m adorable?” Then his alter ego arrived (we call her Sybil) and he looked at the woman and loudly said, “I am NOT adorable”.

The people around us starting laughing and the woman’s husband scolded her and said, “How DARE you call a child adorable!”

My son giggled along with them, full-well knowing he had caused the merriment . Then he looked at me and quietly asked, “Mom? What’s adorable mean?”

I’m Glad My Feet Didn’t Shine

posted by Momo Fali on June 16, 2008

We just got back from a weekend at an amusement park on the Lake Erie shore. That’s right. My husband is the type of guy who spends his Father’s Day schlepping kids around a hot, sticky, crowded park just so he can watch them smile. (Insert “Aw” here.)

This particular park has an indoor roller coaster that my daughter really wanted to ride, so I volunteered to take her. The waiting line weaved through a building illuminated with black-lights.

Upon entering, everyone wearing white tennis shoes and shirts began to glow. People had florescent eyeballs and when they smiled it was with neon teeth.

I, however, wasn’t wearing anything white. Instead the black-light revealed dirt…all over my shirt. Dirt and amusement park grime which had not been visible outside. It looked like I had removed my top, laid it on the ground and let my six year old stomp all over it.

Because I had been holding my son earlier, every mark from his sandals was imprinted like bad graphics. There were marks from roller coaster seat-belts, and shoulder restraints too.

So, while everyone else was positively glowing, I felt contaminated ala Meryl Streep in Silkwood.

I have always thought that the shower after an amusement park visit is the best shower you can take. Now I don’t just think it…I know it.