I Can’t Compete With That

posted by Momo Fali on July 30, 2008

Among our group of friends, I am lovingly referred to as a “one-upper”. Someone tells a story, and I come back with something to top it.

If you reflect on the time you were driving in a snowstorm, I will tell you a story about walking through a blizzard and not being able to see two feet in front of me. If you were rear-ended by a car, I’ll tell you about the time I was hit by a semi.

My two favorite words in conversation are, “That’s nothing.” But really, a girl can’t help it if she’s that irritating interesting.

But, my husband is the master competitor. It doesn’t take much to get him defensive either. If you could declare a winner in conversation, he’d be sure to snag the gold medal. Though that medal would come at the expense of the other person. A person who ends up an exhausted heap on the floor crying, “Uncle! For the love of bacon…UNCLE!”

Last night, the two of us went to a concert. I had been painting and scraping wallpaper all day (You’ve scraped wallpaper? I’ve scraped nine layers.) and barely made myself presentable before running out the door. When we got to the stadium, I realized I had forgotten to put my wedding ring on.

As I do a hundred times a day, I went to rub my thumb against my rings. Only I didn’t feel metal, just bare skin. I turned to my husband and said, “Aw! I forgot to put my rings on! I rub them all the time and it feels so weird when they’re missing”.

He asked, “You rub them?”

I said, “Yeah. Not consciously, but I rub them all the time.”

He replied, “Well, I do this…”. And then he turned into Mr. Competitive, and licked his wedding band.

    Comments

  • Mr Lady


    That’s a smart man, that one. 😉

  • Melissa


    It is because you are so interesting! It must be or I, too, will have to put myself in the irritating category. It isn’t my fault that I have had bad luck, embarked on so many doomed adventures or chosen companions so unwisely, but it is my right to share the resulting stories. I can’t help it.

  • the planet of janet


    huh. that’s NOTHING.

    my husband plays ring toss with his.

    😛

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4


    Oh that’s nothing; MY husband ugh, forget it. I suck at competitive comments 😉

  • meleah rebeccah


    He sure beat you with that move. He wins again!

  • BusyDad


    Oh yeah? I take mine SHOPPING!

  • Ems


    It takes a very strong woman to admit this…but at least you aren’t Penelope.

  • Emery Jo


    You guys are my kind of people. We should all run away together sometime.

  • holly


    oh yeah well i would have TAKEN that ring and put it ….

    nevermind…

  • A Whole Lot of Nothing


    Boys are weird. We’d win everything if they’d just go back to their home country.

  • Drowsey Monkey


    omg …. LOL

  • moosh in indy.


    You ain’t seen nothing yet. Next time I see you? I’m ten upping you.

  • Our Crooked Tree


    Smarty…”If you can’t be with the one you love”

  • Monica


    Yeah, that’s a little wierd.

    Thanks for letting me know I don’t have the only wierd husband out there.

  • Jamie E


    hmmm, I guess you both know what the other likes best….assuming you think of you spouse as you each molest your rings.

  • Aunt Debbi/kurts mom


    Of course he did. Funny funny

  • Natalie


    ok…that is hysterical. i’m sure the fact that you rub your rings was shocking to him. but he got you on that one for sure!

  • Tara R.


    There are some competitions you should be happy to lose. 😛

  • The Laundress


    Sometimes losing is a good thing.

    Ha.

  • Melisa


    ROFL! He’s hilarious!

  • Stacey @Real World Mom


    Now that is love! LOL!

  • Jodi


    LMFAO! He’s a gem!

  • AlisonH


    Oh, *I* can tell one better than *that*!… (Actually, no, I can’t.)

    Don’t sweat the one-upping. It’s just a normal feature of being good at seeing the stories in normal life.

  • Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children


    You two were meant f.or each other

  • Mrs. Schmitty


    Nothing wrong with some friendly competition between loved ones.

  • Amy


    And now I see where the son gets it from!

  • Tom


    If you’re ever mad at him, just say something like “Hey, I just jabbed myself in the eye with a fork.” Then stand back.

  • chefmom


    LMAO!!! That’s a riot!!! And I want to party with you…you guys go to concerts quite a bit, no? See, now you should start you’re One-ups with, “AND then this one time at band camp….”

  • Smart A$$ Mom


    ha! he is a keeper!

  • Immoral Matriarch


    I like him!!! LOL!

  • Tenakim


    awww! a man after your own heart!

  • mammadawg.com


    LOL – the sight of that must’ve been something else!

    P.S. Drop by when you get a chance? I’ve nominated you for the “Kick Ass Blogger” Club 😉

  • Jaina


    LMAO

  • Ok, Where Was I?


    Ha, ha, ha. I thought, what on earth can he do to top that? That’s what.

  • Sogeshirtsguy


    lol good one. Your family is full of zingers.

  • A Shade Of Scorpio


    Thanks for the laugh!!!

  • Colleen


    OK, uncle – I must confess to being a “one upper” sometimes, too. Very funny…

  • LiteralDan


    You know, it’d be easy to jump on your bandwagon and mock him, but, as you already know deep down, he totally won.

    Sorry.

  • Jo Beaufoix


    Heh heh, catching up. I was going to say it’s nice that he kissed your ring, but erm, it sounds a bit rude so I won’t.

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