Calgon, Take Me Away

posted by Momo Fali on September 12, 2008

A few years ago, my son’s cardiologist told us that he would never be allowed to play contact sports. I had grown accustomed to imagining my boy as the next Tiger Woods (and me being a very rich Mommy), so I was surprised at his last heart check-up when the doctor cleared him to play soccer.

Now, let’s get something straight…I have one tough boy. This kid has had more needles in his veins in six years than most people have their whole lives. But, apparently the hospital is one thing and the soccer field is something else entirely.

At practice last night, after 50 minutes of drills, my kid hit a wall. The first time he complained was when he was playing defense in a scrimmage. He stopped in his tracks and yelled, “Mom! I’m tired.”

I yelled back from the sidelines, “You’re okay! You can hang in there for 10 more minutes!”

Then the second complaint, “Mom! My tummy hurts!”

Again I said, “Come on, buddy! You can do it! Just five more minutes!”

And, he was hanging in there just like I told him to…until, with just two minutes left in the practice, he took a hard-kicked ball right in the ear.

He burst into tears and ran off the field to me. I checked him out, then said, “I know you’re tired, but your ear looks okay. You can do this! When you’re playing on a team, you have to be there for your teammates. They need you. Now get back in there and show them what a big, strong, tough kid you are!”

When it didn’t appear that would convince him…I whispered something in his ear.

He then trotted back to the field for some inspirational words from the coach and one final huddle. They ended the practice by having the team put their hands together as they chanted, “One. Two. Three. TIGERS!”

Then my big, strong, tough boy ran off the field yelling what I thought would stay a secret, “Okay, Mom! Let’s go home so I can get my bubble bath!”

    Comments

  • Ed (zoesdad)


    I was inspired by your encouraging him to be tough because “his team needed him”–brilliant.

    Now I’m just in awe because I would never have thought to offer a bubble bath to any of my kids. Again—brilliant.

  • Jamie E


    ah, zee bubble bath!!

    hehehe

  • kaila


    Lord how I wish I could use a bubble bath to entice my 6 year old. Water and soap are poison to him. His idea of a bath is one of three things: rain, hose, pool. You are very lucky!

  • Mimi aka pz5wjj


    Oh too cute! Even manly men… er boys… need their bubbles.

  • Jodi


    A lot of big, strong, tough kids need a bubble bath every once in awhile!

    Very cute!

  • Mama Dawg


    Oh, I just wanna squeeze him tight.

  • Tenakim


    awww- I want to hug him, too!

  • wheremytruthlives


    I’ve never been a big fan of Calgon but my son, since a very early age has loved it. He discovered it when I was sniffing body wash bottles in the cosmetic aisle. He sniffed that blue box and fell in love. Yeah, it’s one of his favorite motivators too. 🙂

  • Heather


    Well whatever it takes to motivate them right? LOL I wish a bubble bath was enough incentive for me to get my stuff done too. =)

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4


    EVERYONE loves a good bubble bath–I bet his teammates were jealous!

  • Kat


    I need to store this somewhere in my memory as a bribe for my 4 year old daughter. She quits almost everything she tries, but I bet she would do them for a bubble bath.

  • Tom


    Tough guys need soft skin too.

  • meleah rebeccah


    Heck! You can still bribe me with promises of bubble baths!

  • Amy


    I bribed my with a new Barbie everytime. But that got to be a little expensive. And of course she was just as happy with a chocolate shake.

  • Undomestic Diva


    Wow, you got away with a bubble bath bribe? My kids drain my wallet with the bribes they require. If my almost 4 year old will.please.just.use.the.goddamn.potty, we'll be looking at paying for a trip to Disneyland — for a family of 5.

    Pull-ups & Jack Daniels are cheap in comparison.

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    I’ve been a devoted football (soccer) fan for 25 years, and I’d LOVE to know what a scrimmage is?

    ;0)

  • georgie


    awwww a bubble bath If I had only known this years ago…

  • the planet of janet


    brilliant use of the bribe.

    even funnier that it didn’t bother him to blab it.

  • Kori


    oh, that is so sweet!

  • Birdie


    guess he aint too proud! You could write a book Momo, seriously.

  • Bean


    The last sentence of the comment just before mine needs to go through your head over and over.

  • LiteralDan


    Hey, even the pros like a good bubble bath now and then. He’d be a wuss NOT to announce it to everyone.

  • holly


    i hope we don’t *all* have to play before getting one. . .

    wait. . . i mean i’m going to take my own. sometimes these lines backfire on you…

    i once told queen of hearts i would buy her a new gamecube game if she did just *one* more pliete . i flipping paid goooood money for those stupid ballet classes…

  • Immoral Matriarch


    Oh that’s a classic temptation. I love it!

  • Mrs4444


    You’re a great mom; good job 🙂 Motivated by a bubble bath, huh? Very impressive! (does this mean you normally just hose him down in the back yard with a cold hose??)

  • texasholly


    I love him. I am off to follow his wise example…

  • www.startswithanx.com


    Your son has an appreciation for the finer things in life.

  • debbi/kurtsmom


    My little soccer star uses my bath gel and fluffy pink sponge. Real tough guy.

  • Tara R.


    I love that! I thought I was the only one who used that bribe with her son. Whoot!

  • Maureen


    OMG… that, now THAT was priceless!!!!

  • Slick


    LOL ah man, I totally laughed outloud at this one! Too funny….

  • DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM


    It doesn’t get any cuter than that!

  • Corey~living and loving


    As always….thanks for the giggle. 🙂

  • Brittany


    Ha! I thought this would be a secret like the end of Lost in Translation….but that secret was awesome and would totally work for me!

  • Jaina


    See? Bubbles really do make everything better. Haha.

  • Rose


    What a great story! Your son sounds too sweet for words.

  • Jared


    That’s why Mom’s rule! What coach would ever offer a bubble bath. 😀 So you are officially a soccer Mom now? 😀

  • ria


    Hey, a bubble bath is enough to convince me!

    🙁 Sure coulda used one after Saturday’s game!! I’m SICK. [insert puking, green smiley face here]

  • MamaMo


    Too sweet!

  • Jenna


    Aw! See — everyone loves a good bubble bath! : ]

  • Kimmylyn


    You need to write a book of your awesome mom skills.. seriously.. who doesn’t love a good bubble bath..

    he is a rock star that little man of yours..

  • Jo Beaufoix


    He is so adorable Momo. I cold just squeeze him, but I promise I won’t.

  • Deb


    Awwww… he is going to grow up to be the same kind of guy as my husband. All hard candy coating on the outside, soft and gushy on the inside. I love those men. They have the best moms.

  • Angie


    That is so incredibly cute. We mommies know the keys to our tough boys’ hearts, don’t we?

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