How Not To Impress People

posted by Momo Fali on September 1, 2008

Two days ago, we attended our niece’s wedding in Virginia. The ceremony and reception were held at a beautiful and exclusive resort on the banks of the James River. I’m pretty sure they wanted to turn us away at the gate, because our Cadillac wasn’t fancy enough.

The bride and the guests were gorgeous, decked out in clothes so fabulous that the sunset paled in comparison. Following the ceremony, the wedding party had photographs taken while we were treated to scrumptious hors d’oeuvres in truly lovely surroundings.

After finding out I have a love for something called “mushroom cigars” and even more love for something called an “open bar”, it was time for the reception.

As we left the riverbank and stepped inside to the five-course, sit-down dinner, I grabbed my son’s hand and told my daughter to follow behind.

We entered on the far end of the hall and zig-zagged through the crowd, looking for the table number that matched our place card. I nodded politely and said, “Excuse me”, numerous times as the three of us wiggled around the room.

Little did I know that I should have been excusing my son’s behavior, not mine, because when we arrived at our table my daughter said, “Mom! Your son smacked the butt of every person we passed by!”


  • Heather

    LOL Couldn’t she have mentioned that a little sooner?

  • Stella

    My kind of kid!! That’s exactly how I am after Mushroom Cigars and an open bar at cocktail hour!!

  • Jamie E

    “your son”


    The life of the party eh?

  • Rachel

    I just spit beer all over my screen.

    Oh my hell Momo!! That is fantastic.

    I am giggling insanely right now.

  • A Buns Life

    Ni-ice. What is it with 6 year old boys and them smacking everyone on their hiney? I can’t even blame Jake’s obsession with it on women’s volleyball….THAT just reemphasized his desire to do it even more…..

  • texasholly

    He is a PLAYER…

  • AlisonH

    What he thinks is funny now will mortify him up one side and down the other later. Heh. Teenagerhood: the parents’ revenge.

  • Weaselmomma

    Oh my! Don’t you just love when kids give us these proud parent moments?

  • chefmom

    OH!! I can just hear the converstaions later…”Who was that woman who was smacking everyone’s Butt through the crowd??” “She said excuse me, and then I got smacked! The nerve!”
    I LOVE your son!! I would have sat them down at the table, and headed straight back to the open bar.

  • Bean

    And I bet each and every one of them got a kick out of it! πŸ™‚

    Welcome home!

  • the planet of janet


  • Kat

    I love cheeky little boys!!

  • Mama Dawg

    He ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ms Picket To You


    If he smacked my butt, I would have scooped him, changed the seating chart and made him my partner in crime for the night. That kid is so awesome.

  • georgie

    LOL ooooo to funny! awww children are just so precious!

  • meleah rebeccah

    I am in love with your son! He is so adorable, and so funny!

    *heres to open bars every where!*

  • Maureen

    What? Is he in training to be a professional football player or something???


  • Xbox4NappyRash

    Well done young man, well done!

  • Kori

    Totally loving it; sounds like my family!

  • Maeve's Mom

    Hilarious (only because it happened to you and not me). Aren’t boys great?

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4

    He’s made his presence known πŸ˜‰

  • Heidi

    I am so glad I was not drinking anything when I read tht last line! That is too funny.

  • Jo Beaufoix

    Hee hee, I bet they all moved though. πŸ˜€

  • Lane Boyz Mom

    LOL Too funny!

  • ria

    HIL-arious! Boys learn all too quick how to be icky men. LOL I could see mine doin’ the SAME thing!

  • Manager Mom

    That is hilarious! I fear that I too am raising a butt-smacker. But a crowded wedding? That’s hard core!

  • Amy Amy Bo Bamey

    OMG that was funny. My son is not a butt smacker but a boob toucher. I think I breastfed him too long (9 Mos) he has a love for boobs, just like his dad.

  • kawaii crafter

    well at least you got a good blog post out of it

  • Misty

    OH MY GOSH. No way… That’s hilarious… Sad I missed THAT wedding…

  • Birdie

    oh my gosh! And she waited that long to tell you??? *L* you guys are so hilarious!

  • Dapoppins

    Is this the boy who also says unexpected things? You never said he did unexpected things too!

  • isla

    That’s my boy!!!

  • Caffeine Court

    I want to party with that kid!!!

  • Genevieve Hinson

    Laughing so hard I’m darn near crying. Love that boy!

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