Wolf-Boy

posted by Momo Fali on October 13, 2008

Ten years ago, when I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I hired a private dog trainer. Our puppy, Blue, was six months old and our veterinarian recommended someone who would work with her one on one.

We were too dumb to realize what he really meant, which was that Blue would never be accepted in a class. Not that she couldn’t play nice, but he was quite aware that we wouldn’t be able to get her to stop playing period. We probably should have got the hint when he prescribed her tranquilizers.

Labrador retrievers are, by nature, as hyper as Looney Tunes’ Road Runner. On speed. This puppy of ours bounced off the walls. She was particularly crazy in the evening when my husband and I got home from work. Which is, of course, when the $55.00 an hour trainer would swing by.

The first night the trainer was here, she explained that Blue wasn’t peppy because we had been gone all day, but because dogs naturally get a little wacky at twilight. Apparently wolves are most active at that time of day, and because our puppy was a distant relative, we could blame them. Stupid wolves. I wondered if I could also blame Blue’s family tree for the holes in all of our underwear and my ficus tree that was chewed to a stump.

Wolf or no wolf, the trainer lasted about a month before she quit. That’s how bad our dog was. Someone making $55.00 an hour, threw up her hands, walked out the door, and told us our dog was untrainable.

Blue is ten and she’s finally calming down. But now, there’s a new wolf in town.

Our six year old son is also affected by twilight. Every night after dinner, he becomes a little bit nutty. He jumps off the furniture and runs through the house laughing and screaming. He drives his sister crazy. He drives us crazy. He is an unstoppable goof. We call him Wolf-Boy.

So help me, if he starts chewing on our underwear I’m throwing up my hands and declaring him untrainable.

    Comments

  • Bean


    Stupid(!) wolves!

  • Bean


    Stupid(!) wolves!

  • Weaselmomma


    For $75.00 an hour(10 years later ya know) I will come play with wolf boy once a day at twilight.

  • Weaselmomma


    For $75.00 an hour(10 years later ya know) I will come play with wolf boy once a day at twilight.

  • georgie


    so all this time I have been barking at the moon it was twilight that made me do it…who woulda thunk!
    The next time mr gp tells me I am P.M.S’n Ima tell him nope I am twilight’n 😉

  • georgie


    so all this time I have been barking at the moon it was twilight that made me do it…who woulda thunk!
    The next time mr gp tells me I am P.M.S’n Ima tell him nope I am twilight’n 😉

  • Ed (zoesdad)


    I’ve got a whole pack of wolves. Same thing–right after dinner!

  • Ed (zoesdad)


    I’ve got a whole pack of wolves. Same thing–right after dinner!

  • Candy


    I think our dogs must be related. I’m only sorry my vet has never recommended tranquilizers, because there is no doubt in my mind she could use them.

  • Candy


    I think our dogs must be related. I’m only sorry my vet has never recommended tranquilizers, because there is no doubt in my mind she could use them.

  • the planet of janet


    this, of course, explains my entire child-rearing life.

  • the planet of janet


    this, of course, explains my entire child-rearing life.

  • kaila


    I never believed a dog was un-trainable until we got Misty. If you hold a treat in your hand and tell her to sit, she will race away from you wimpering and hide under the bed. Twilight? Nope, that doesn’t affect her either, but it does the 6 yr old. Now I know why!

  • kaila


    I never believed a dog was un-trainable until we got Misty. If you hold a treat in your hand and tell her to sit, she will race away from you wimpering and hide under the bed. Twilight? Nope, that doesn’t affect her either, but it does the 6 yr old. Now I know why!

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4


    I just finished going over Romulus and Remus–the twin wolf boys–to my daughter. Maybe your wolf boy will create a vast empire too 😉

    Good for you for sticking with Blue 🙂

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4


    I just finished going over Romulus and Remus–the twin wolf boys–to my daughter. Maybe your wolf boy will create a vast empire too 😉

    Good for you for sticking with Blue 🙂

  • Kimmylyn


    I may have one or two wolves in my house.. that or kids that know how to roll over their mom. 🙂

  • Kimmylyn


    I may have one or two wolves in my house.. that or kids that know how to roll over their mom. 🙂

  • Kori


    I have one of those, too. At least with this one, when he starts acting insane I know it is time for bed!

  • Kori


    I have one of those, too. At least with this one, when he starts acting insane I know it is time for bed!

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    Industrial strength insulation tape.

    Solved.

  • Xbox4NappyRash


    Industrial strength insulation tape.

    Solved.

  • worldmomma


    I like this post. Beautiful comparison between your son and the dog.

  • worldmomma


    I like this post. Beautiful comparison between your son and the dog.

  • Tenakim


    Start keeping a running tab for all the years of training.

  • Tenakim


    Start keeping a running tab for all the years of training.

  • Mama Dawg


    So glad I have more of a kitty-girl instead. Lazy and wants to lounge around!

  • Mama Dawg


    So glad I have more of a kitty-girl instead. Lazy and wants to lounge around!

  • Birdie


    being cute helps. I hope he’s really cute!

  • Birdie


    being cute helps. I hope he’s really cute!

  • AlisonH


    Thank you for the guffaw!

  • AlisonH


    Thank you for the guffaw!

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins


    Ha ha ha!

    1) Thanks for the confirmation that quite possibly our lab mix may one day settle down. She’s nearly five, and I was giving up hope.
    2) The fact that the evening hyperness is connected to wolve-dom only partially relieves me. She’ll still be a spaz while I’m at home in the evenings.

    🙂

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins


    Ha ha ha!

    1) Thanks for the confirmation that quite possibly our lab mix may one day settle down. She’s nearly five, and I was giving up hope.
    2) The fact that the evening hyperness is connected to wolve-dom only partially relieves me. She’ll still be a spaz while I’m at home in the evenings.

    🙂

  • Ashley


    Did your boy escape one evening? I think he must’ve bit my daughter b/c she’s acting like a crazy after dark too. Like, throwing herself on the floor in non stop random giggles and running around like a nut just screaming and laughing. Hmmm…

  • Ashley


    Did your boy escape one evening? I think he must’ve bit my daughter b/c she’s acting like a crazy after dark too. Like, throwing herself on the floor in non stop random giggles and running around like a nut just screaming and laughing. Hmmm…

  • Sadia


    Do you get paid $55/hr to train your son? (How cool would that be!?)

  • Sadia


    Do you get paid $55/hr to train your son? (How cool would that be!?)

  • Aunt Debbi/kurts mom


    I wonder if the same thing applies to monkeys

  • Aunt Debbi/kurts mom


    I wonder if the same thing applies to monkeys

  • meleah rebeccahH


    Stupid Wolves…and as hyper as Looney Tunes’ Road Runner. On speed.”

    Cracked Me Up!

  • meleah rebeccah


    Stupid blogger wrecked my signature on the above comment.

  • meleah rebeccah


    Stupid blogger wrecked my signature on the above comment.

  • holly


    how long has he been doing this? cuz mine’s three and i’m looking for muzzles…

    and nobody’s paying *me* $55/hour. i’m gonna retrain!!! software…whatever!

  • holly


    how long has he been doing this? cuz mine’s three and i’m looking for muzzles…

    and nobody’s paying *me* $55/hour. i’m gonna retrain!!! software…whatever!

  • Heather


    ha ha ha ha.
    good to know.
    i will remember this when i have children! :]

  • Heather


    ha ha ha ha.
    good to know.
    i will remember this when i have children! :]

  • Monica


    Oh Momo, I have two wolf-boys here…and I remember my ultra hyper golden retriever. She slowed down at about 10 or 12. My kids seem to have more staying power. Yikes.

  • Monica


    Oh Momo, I have two wolf-boys here…and I remember my ultra hyper golden retriever. She slowed down at about 10 or 12. My kids seem to have more staying power. Yikes.

  • ria


    Something even crazier than a lab at twilight… a lab AND a Siamese playing together. I don’t have a lab, but have heard from friends that THAT combination is truly insane. Our Siamese is absolutely bonkers and very dog-like. So I can relate!

    My son also goes bonkers after dinner. We’ve always attributed it to his recent meal and the surge of blood sugar. Thank you for setting me straight. I shall now blame the wolves and call him “Wolf-Boy.” 🙂

  • ria


    Something even crazier than a lab at twilight… a lab AND a Siamese playing together. I don’t have a lab, but have heard from friends that THAT combination is truly insane. Our Siamese is absolutely bonkers and very dog-like. So I can relate!

    My son also goes bonkers after dinner. We’ve always attributed it to his recent meal and the surge of blood sugar. Thank you for setting me straight. I shall now blame the wolves and call him “Wolf-Boy.” 🙂

  • PG


    aaaroooooooooooooooo!

    don’t feel bad, you are getting paid nothing, so throwing up your hands and walking away seems perfectly reasonable to me!

  • PG


    aaaroooooooooooooooo!

    don’t feel bad, you are getting paid nothing, so throwing up your hands and walking away seems perfectly reasonable to me!

  • LaskiGal


    This is awesome. My friend has a similar issue. They actually hired a CELEBRITY dog trainer that not only quit, but refunded them part of their money for a job NOT done.

    The WOLF. I’ve got one, too. It is as if someone turns on some sort of switch and my sweet baby J springs into hyper drive.

    Ugh. (and of course this is when mommy is finally ready to settle down and rest).

  • LaskiGal


    This is awesome. My friend has a similar issue. They actually hired a CELEBRITY dog trainer that not only quit, but refunded them part of their money for a job NOT done.

    The WOLF. I’ve got one, too. It is as if someone turns on some sort of switch and my sweet baby J springs into hyper drive.

    Ugh. (and of course this is when mommy is finally ready to settle down and rest).

  • MamaMo


    Hide the ficus from wolf-boy… it’s poisonous!! 🙂

  • MamaMo


    Hide the ficus from wolf-boy… it’s poisonous!! 🙂

  • Mz. Nesbit


    i hope that’s what he’s going to be for halloween. i expect to see some pictures!
    :o)

  • Mz. Nesbit


    i hope that’s what he’s going to be for halloween. i expect to see some pictures!
    :o)

  • Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children


    Maybe you can get those tranquilizers the vet was going to prescribe to the dog?

  • Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children


    Maybe you can get those tranquilizers the vet was going to prescribe to the dog?

  • Twenty Four At Heart


    My lab STILL does this and she’s getting old. Come to think of it my kids still do it too and they’re all teens. Can we blame it on the full moon – at least this week?

  • Twenty Four At Heart


    My lab STILL does this and she’s getting old. Come to think of it my kids still do it too and they’re all teens. Can we blame it on the full moon – at least this week?

  • Tara R.


    When our Boy was that age he was literally bouncing off the wall. We still have the dents to prove it. Good luck and watch out for full moons.

  • Tara R.


    When our Boy was that age he was literally bouncing off the wall. We still have the dents to prove it. Good luck and watch out for full moons.

  • O My Blog!


    You are thinking about this the wrong way. Make lemonade with those lemons…

    In today’s energy conservative market, you need to invest in a treadmill that powers your house, you won’t be disappointed.

    My daughter now powers my entire neighborhood!

  • O My Blog!


    You are thinking about this the wrong way. Make lemonade with those lemons…

    In today’s energy conservative market, you need to invest in a treadmill that powers your house, you won’t be disappointed.

    My daughter now powers my entire neighborhood!

  • X


    Now I have an explanation as to why I’m so hyper when Jake comes home: Wacky Twilight Syndrome.

    I definitely suffer from this. Same time. Every day.

  • X


    Now I have an explanation as to why I’m so hyper when Jake comes home: Wacky Twilight Syndrome.

    I definitely suffer from this. Same time. Every day.

  • Jaina


    Haha, too funny.

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