Archive for November, 2008

Wrong Answer

posted by Momo Fali on November 29, 2008


This drawing is from some of my son’s speech therapy homework from last week. For this assignment, I had to show him the picture then ask him questions about it.

I said, “Look at this. The Mom is just coming in the door and the Daddy and the little girl made a big mess in the kitchen. Now they’re just sitting there eating and watching TV. What do you think will happen next?”

He replied, “Well, maybe the Mom needs to clean it up.”

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Giving Thanks for Good Doctors…and Beer

posted by Momo Fali on November 26, 2008

On the day before Thanksgiving, four years ago, I received a dreaded call from my son’s doctor. He had been very sick and a nurse phoned to give us the result of some blood tests.

My son had a strep pneumo infection. Not always a big deal, unless you’re a kid with heart defects like my boy. And, because my kid likes to be different, it wasn’t the strain for which you get immunized, it was an antibiotic-resistant version.

They gave us two options. A seven-day, no expenses paid trip to the hospital for IV antibiotics, or a $300.00 bottle of a new, oral medicine that had an 85% chance of working. Because hospital stays turn our lives upside down, and because it was the day before Thanksgiving, we decided to try the oral meds.

The only problem? No one warned us that the medicine tasted like wet steel. One drop of it on my son’s tongue made him gag and vomit, which really isn’t good when you’re trying to get life-saving medicine down his throat.

We tried diluting it in juice, we tried chasing one drop with an entire Reese’s Cup, but nothing worked. We knew a week in the hospital was imminent.

I called the pediatrician on Thanksgiving morning to let her know, and she agreed that we had no other choice.

But then she said, “Well, there is one other thing we could do…”

She went on to tell a very anxious me, that she would agree to put in a Heplock (the short hub that sticks out of an IV catheter and can be capped off). But alas, she didn’t have a nurse who could do something like that on Thanksgiving Day.

I nearly screamed, “I have a nurse!!”

My sister-in-law is a pediatric nurse at a local hospital and I knew she would do it.

So the pediatrician agreed to meet us at her office later that afternoon…after she fed 20 people dinner at her house.

Now tell me, how many doctors do you know who would make Thanksgiving dinner, then go and open their office for ONE patient, and let a strange nurse come in and do a procedure? Oh, that’s right. You don’t know ANY doctors who would do that.

And then, after my sister-in-law got the Heplock in, as if there was a shred of doubt that we’d keep that pediatrician forever…she went ahead and sealed the deal when she offered me a beer out of her office refrigerator.

Full Credit if You’re a Redneck

posted by Momo Fali on November 24, 2008

One of the best things about working as an aide in a second grade classroom is being with kids who are, for the most part, too young to be corrupt. When they say something inappropriate, it comes from a pure and innocent place.

So, when the teacher asked for an example of a word with the “short i” sound, and a student raised his hand and said, “Tit”…shouldn’t he get partial credit?

I Feel Like a Number…Unless Mom’s Singing

posted by Momo Fali on November 20, 2008

There is a radio station here that plays nothing but Christmas music from Thanksgiving through Christmas day. This year, they started two weeks early.

Surprisingly, I was fine with the early caroling. After all, I have two kids who are excited and filled with wonder during this season…what’s wrong with getting a bit of a jump start?

But the holiday glow was quickly washed from my face when my slightly obsessive-compulsive, six year old son took to Bob Seger’s rendition of “Little Drummer Boy”.

“Little Drummer Boy” is one thing, but I’m not a fan of Bob’s. To put it mildly, not at all.

Yesterday I was playing seasonal tunes through our cable box when Mr. Seger popped up on the television screen, sitting on a motorcycle, while singing my boy’s favorite holiday song. Once it ended, my kid knew he could simply rewind the DVR to hear it again, and again, and again, and again.

I appreciate the sentiment of the song, I love it’s message, but Bob Seger puts the “assail” in wassailing.

Today we were out running errands when my son started getting tired and cranky. I thought the best thing to cheer him up would be for me to sing “Little Drummer Boy”.

I looked in the rearview mirror and started, “Come they told me…”

He interrupted, “Why are you singing that?”

I said, “Because you love that song.”

He replied, “Oh. Well, maybe you should just sing it to yourself, in your head.”