Oprah Cliffs Notes VI

posted by Momo Fali on November 12, 2008

On today’s Oprah, Dr. Oz stopped by to discuss his new book, You: Being Beautiful.

Dr. Oz brought along Harvard-educated dermatologist, Dr. Susan Evans. Who also happens to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

Dr. Evans pulled women from the audience, who were concerned about wrinkles, sun spots and adult acne. None of them wore make-up so that Dr. Evans could put their faces inside the Visia Skin Analysis machine, which shows underlying skin problems. Way underlying. Here’s where Dr. Oz tells a woman how beautiful she is, as the deep damage to her skin is shown on a 20 foot wide screen in the background. I’m sure she felt lovely.

This is Geri’s foot. Geri has a fungal infection, which Dr. Oz says is easily cured with a pill. The only problem with that? The pill can cause liver failure. Hmmm…pretty toes or liver failure? Seems to be a toss up. Dr. Oz suggests to skip the pill and to instead soak the fungal feet in vinegar. Because feet that smell like vinegar are much more pleasant to be around.

Here Dr. Oz explains cellulite, which he says is incurable. This is just what I wanted to hear, exactly not at all. Then Dr. Oz showed the audience the expanse of my rear end.

In a nutshell, Dr. Oz wants us to know that what’s on the outside is evidence of what’s on the inside. In which case, I apparently resemble a Butterfinger.


  • A Whole Lot of Nothing

    That toe was nas-tay up there on the 20ft screen.

    I resemble Taco Bell. It’s hard to keep the cheese from dripping out of my shirt.

  • Heather

    ^^ HA HA HA HA HA.

    umm, the “most beautiful woman in the world” seems to be cross eyed to me. or maybe it’s just me being bitter.

    i DVR’d this. i think i’ll just delete it without watching ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Walking With Scissors

    You failed to mention what the good doctor suggested for adult acne? Because I? Resemble a 13 year old. Only with boobs.

  • the planet of janet

    oh. dear.

    um. this is disturbing.

    i think i need another butterfinger, myself…

  • LiteralDan

    These posts have no right to be as entertaining as they are.

    I want to see what my skin looks like underneath the surface– I’m fascinated by stuff like that. Data, data, I must have more data!!

    Sorry about the cellulite– I wish I could help.

  • geeksinrome

    at least your cellulite resembles a beautiful string of pearls… It could have been a giant vat of yellow cottage cheese on that screen!

  • Jo Beaufoix

    Blimey, that cellulite us grim. At least on the outside it just looks like cute dimples..or that’s what I tell myself.

  • Stella

    You’re in good company, Butterfingers are my favorite and I have consumed equal amounts to yours!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Heather

    Yeah, that soaking in vinegar thing doesn’t work. Neither do any of the other home remedies. My friend had this for years, and even that pill that can cause liver damage didn’t work. Her big toe had the fungus so bad, she ended up having to just have the toenail removed.

  • Weaselmomma

    I must be a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

  • MamaWise

    That “beautiful woman” seems to have overdosed on the botox a tad.

  • A Buns Life

    hmmm butterfingers…..but I think my ass is a 2 big steak chalupas from taco bell. We eat there at least once a week….hmmmm.

  • Misty

    i just can’t bring myself to be an oprah watcher, and with every oprah recap you do, I laugh along and smile while thanking you (and myself) for helping me maintain that decision…

  • Tara R.

    Oh great! I’m a tater tot.

  • kaila

    I just love your Oprah Cliff’s notes. They make me feel warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that’s just my cellulite. I think I need another butterfinger.

  • Melisa

    I once looked at myself in one of those machines that analyzes skin damage. It was at a health fair where I was happily working the booth for my health club. Well, let me tell you: seeing the sun damage underneath my top 100 layers or so of skin was enough to make me practically run screaming and crying in the other direction. Thank God for makeup, should those spots eventually swim their way to the surface…ugh!

    BTW, I’m french fries.

  • Rachel

    So glad I’m not the only one who thought it was hogwash.

    I’m an ice cold miller lite and nachos and pizza ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Weaselmomma

    Momo, her’s my big secret……I just did a post titled “Click my Ads” and wrote that Mr. Weasel got laid-off. The rest was all of you.
    I am going to click your ads now.

  • Ms Picket To You

    and today! today was about managing clutter! could Oprah make me feel any less imperfect lately???

  • Speedcat Hollydale

    Do you capture your own screen shots? And if so, how do you do it???

    … “she is pretty hot”


    Hi from SpeedyCat

  • Karen MEG

    I haven’t watched Oprah in a while… I think I’ll just visit here for your cliff notes… MUCH more entertaining ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • MommyTime

    In a nutshell, Dr. Oz wants us to know that what’s on the outside is evidence of what’s on the inside. In which case, I apparently resemble a Butterfinger.

    ME TOO!!! Exactly. (If Butterfingers are squishy on the inside.)

  • Jaina

    So, I definitely won’t be visiting Dr. Oz.

  • Kimmylyn

    I love these updates because I don’t watch Oprah..

    And by the way..I am totally Sour Patch kids with lots of caramel macchiato’s.

  • Mama Dawg

    I still would rather see my outside than my inside.

  • Sogeshirtsguy

    I thought Oprah was supposed to help with womens self esteem. I guess not. That Dr. Evans kind of scares me she looks like she wants to eat peoples brains.

  • Immoral Matriarch

    Ewwwwwwwwwww feet!!

  • O My Blog!

    What happens when your foot is chock full of cellulite, has a fungus and the skin is so horribly damaged that it scares the shoes right off of ya?
    Answer THAT Dr. Oz!!!

  • Bee Repartee

    I’ve got the liver of a 60 year old alcoholic but my toes have never looked better.

    I was completely snorting at your “most beautiful woman in the world”.

    I wonder if she uses Target generic Ponds Night Cream.

  • Marinka

    Is “the most beautiful woman in the world” a euphemism for “transgender”?

  • meleah rebeccah

    Dr. Oz is a little too intense for me! So is Oprah!


  • Suzie Bennadryl

    “I apparently resemble a Butterfinger.”

    ha ha ha…. you always crack me up.

  • Mrs4444

    Thanks, once again, for the belly laughs (jiggling quite a bit over here!)

  • Rhea

    Niiiiice. I’m so glad I didn’t see this show!

  • Debo Hobo

    I watched that show, I have my appointment scheduled to check on my thinning hair. Dr. Oz told one of the women in the audience it could be caused by a tumor on the pituitary gland?

  • Dapoppins

    You always make me laugh when you talk about Oprah.

  • Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

    …and I look like beer and tootsie rolls.

  • Giyen

    Just out meeting NaBloPoMo participants and wanted to say howdy!

    Yikes, I didn’t want to see some of the pics! lol

    Cheers! Giyen

  • Birdie

    I'm wiht Heather…I thought they were going to fix her eyes. Anyway, Oprah scares me with the new agey stuff healing & miracles stuff. I guess all the Oprah I get will be here…with the toe fungus & cellulite. You make a great filter Momo.

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