1. Drink screw-topped wines.
Already taken care of. I recently cut my hand when I tried to open a screw-top with a corkscrew. Really. You just have to unscrew them. It’s amazing.
2. Try that home before buying.
It’s possible the current owners won’t appreciate it, but they’ll do anything to sell their house that is worth $20,000 less than the price for which it was purchased. Make yourself at home.
3. Get a new toothbrush.
If you only do this yearly, you better make it a good one. Pick up some floss while you’re at it.
4. Get paid for good health.
With my asthma, insomnia and migraines, I can probably get a whole quarter.
5. Study philosophy.
Will do. Right after I see the forest for the trees.
6. Start using Twitter.
Now we’re talking.
7. Finish a crossword puzzle.
Thank goodness this isn’t plural and thank goodness they give you a whole year to get it done.
8. Plant a square-foot garden.
You won’t net much fruit, but you can still call yourself a gardener.
9. Add obstacles to your jog.
Just run down the middle of the street. Or, if you prefer a trail you can jump over other joggers.
10. Play a fake musical instrument.
I’m even going to spring for fake piano lessons for my kids. I’m generous like that.