Santa Scared the Crap Out of Him

posted by Momo Fali on December 7, 2008

Yesterday morning we attended an annual Santa Breakfast at our church. The cafeteria hall is decked and filled with loud music, games, face-painting, greasy food, ugly sweaters and a visit from a very large man in a red suit.

A couple of years ago, this was a terrifying experience for my son. When Santa arrived, my boy grabbed onto his Dad and wouldn’t let go. Literally. I have a picture of my husband holding his arms straight out to either side, with my son dangling from his neck like a Flavor Flav necklace.

Yesterday wasn’t much different. Because when the DJ said that Santa had arrived and he was parking his sleigh outside, my son suddenly looked very nervous.

But, instead of grabbing Daddy’s neck, he grabbed his own rear end and then turned to the folks sitting at our table and announced, “I need to go poop!”


  • Xbox4NappyRash

    Santa has that effect on me too.

  • Rhea

    Who needs prune juice or Metamucil when all you need is to mention Santa’s in every mall this season?!

  • Irish Gumbo

    One hopes that he made it to the loo before too long. Maybe it is like that reflex that makes cats ‘void’ themselves when startled. Some sort of weight saving ‘flight’ reflex?

    BTW, the Flavor Flav reference: Sweeeeet! Yeeahh, boyeeee!

  • Weaselmomma

    He must not be very confident about being on the nice list. I love kids reactions.

  • Melisa

    I was also loving the Flavor Flav reference!

    Poor guy; I hope that Santa doesn’t have any plans to show himself while he’s delivering gifts to your house…the results could be messy.

  • Ed (zoesdad)

    Nice out!

  • OHmommy

    Judgment day is nearing. LOL. He’s a smart fella.

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4

    Oh my!

  • Tenakim

    Excitement goes through my husband like that.

    Hey- I have never spoken with you or heard your voice, but I was watching Jerry McGuire and when Bonnie Hunt was on screen she seemed “familiar”- who does she remind me of? I thought- YOU. From the few small profile pics and your funny stories, I have created you to be like her in my head- please tell me you speak with a Chicago dialect!

  • the planet of janet

    you could probably patent that as a cure for constipation …

  • Stella

    I think this may be the best story yet!!!
    About your son, that is, not Santa!

  • Melissa

    All I can say is wow, who knew Santa had that much control? I wish I could scare the poop out of my daughter once in awhile…;)

  • kaila

    The Great White Lizard Hunter has “seen” Santa once. He flat out refuses to go any where near that man, let alone, sit on his lap. He makes his list, he mails his letters, but he will not have anything to do with the big fat man in the red suit. No way, no how.


    Bossy agrees. Santa has that effect.

  • Birdie

    hee hee! Where’s the picture?? That’s my son’s excuse for everything too. Poop or pee one of the two. It gets you out of a multitude of unwanted situations.

  • Mama Dawg

    Poor thing.

    I feel that way about mall Santas. There’s just something so creepy about them.

  • ria

    Ahhhh hahahahahahaha!!!

    One of LBB’s first times “visiting” with Santa was when he was almost 2. When it was time to take the Polaroid, he was stretched across Santa’s lap, arms flailing, and mouth wide open SCREECHING. But they took the picture anyway – all 3 of us with Santa and the Mrs. We used it that year for our Christmas card with the caption, “I hope your Christmas goes better than our visit with Santa!” It was very cute and got rave reviews from family and friends. I’d like to say we turned lemons into lemonade that year. šŸ™‚

    Hey, you’ve been TAGGED for a Holiday Meme at my blog!!! Make sure you check it out; don’t spoil the fun. Merry Christmas!!!

  • Heather

    Hiding in the bathroom is a great way to get out of stuff you don’t like. I do it all the time when the dishes need to be done.

  • Kimmylyn

    My son has yet to use that excuse yet.. I am sure it is only a matter of time.. lol

  • Misty

    well… you could consider marketing it… seeing santa is like a visual enema…

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

    Bwahaha! At least he’s “regular”!

  • Tom

    It’s part of the “fight or flight” reflex, I think. At least he had the presence of mind to mention it before letting loose.

  • Mrs4444

    When I saw “3” of your posts in my reader, I was thrilled, because each one is as good as the next, and I knew I’d be entertained. This is my first, and you have not disappointed; I laughed HARD! Thanks.

  • Jenna Consolo

    That’s awesome! What a diversion tactic!

  • Missives From Suburbia

    Don’t all males poop in excitement? I’m pretty sure that’s what gets my husband and son going. Come to think of it, my male dogs… nevermind. TMI.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Aw! Poor kid is scared of Santa. That’s adorable.

  • Jaina

    Gotta hand it to him for coming up with the one inarguable diversion.

  • Pinky

    Just think of how bad Santa’s lap stinks of nervous kid farts.

    You know it’s true.

    Momo, I heart you. You CRACK me up.


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