Tired

posted by Momo Fali on February 23, 2009

There comes a point as an insomniac where you learn to live with a lack of sleep. You become accustomed to needing a cup of coffee to get you through the afternoon, but not before you have tried drinking tea because everyone who knows anything about insomnia knows you shouldn’t drink coffee in the middle of the day. I digress.

I digress because I’m typing this at such a level of exhaustion that my brain convinced me (albeit for a split second, but still…) that maybe I could prop my eyelids open with toothpicks. I also briefly considered creating my own Red Bull eyedrops.

Since Tuesday (it’s Sunday night now…I think it’s Sunday), I have slept a total of 19 hours. That’s 19 hours in five nights if my mind is working right, which it isn’t. All I know is that it’s less than four resting hours a day if you average it, and you have no idea how long it took me to do that math.

Once upon a time, I used to climb in bed at 10:00 p.m., fall asleep within a minute, and stay that way until 6:45 a.m. Almost nine blissful hours of sleep every night. That was before kids. That was when my only responsibility was me.

Seeing as how my responsibilities have greatly increased, I have learned to live a slumberless life. A life in which I stumble about like a drunk half the time. It’s not easy, but I manage. It is one of many sacrifices that I’ve made as a parent, and because I love my kids my zombie-like state is worth it.

But seriously, where did I put those toothpicks?

    Comments

  • ender


    methinks perhaps it’s time for an overnight babysitter and a hotel room? just for a good nite’s sleep???

  • Tara R.


    Sleep is overrated. I’m hoping I can catch up with mine once all the kiddos are out of the house and on their own. I estimate another four years and I’m home free.

  • Irish Gumbo


    I find that scotch tape and Vivarin are a useful combo.

    Let me know if you get those Red Bull eyedrops to work. 🙂

  • Mr Lady


    Woman, you’re insane. Shocker, I know. 🙂

  • Piper


    I feel you on this. Lack of sleep might be the reason my hairs are turning white, even though I blame stress. I haven’t been able to sleep without something since I had Jackson… almost 10 years ago. It’s brutal.

    I’m sorry you need sleep that you can’t get. I wish I could hug sleep into you, or something.

    Sometimes I feel like if I could just SLEEP then everything would be at least 80% better instantly.

  • Tom


    I like that saying “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

    Kids do that to you, what with their energy level, the cleaning, the various stresses, etc. It’s not fair at all.

    I like the Red Bull Eyedrops! That’s a great idea!

  • LaskiGal


    Woman . . . you are not alone. Join me at Twitter at around 2 am. I’m usually mulling over which cereal I should eat or pondering the meaning of life . . .

  • LeeAnne


    I’m thinking that if you could figure out those Red Bull eye drops, you’d be a millionaire and a hero to tired moms everywhere!

  • OhCaptain


    I go go go all the time too, but ever couple of months comes a weekend where I barely move for 2 days moving in and out slumber.

    Sleep is for the weak and childless.

  • Josi


    Well, at least you have something to look forward to when your kids leave home 🙂 It’s been about 3 years that I’ve finally gotten a full night’s sleep a few times a week–truly golden

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


    My husband is an insomniac and is finally getting help other than Ambien. It’s debilitating.

    If I was there, I’d rub your head to sleep.

  • Heather


    shit girl, i’m exhausted all the time and i DON’T have kids. stupid school!

    ps: i gave you an award! come to my blog, please! 😀
    http://www.singingwithmyheart.com/?p=700

  • the planet of janet


    eh, we’ll sleep when we’re dead, ya know?

  • Captain Dumbass


    Insomnia is evil.

  • musing


    I sympathize with you. When I went through my worst period of insomnia I suffered from hallucinations (that bear walking through the room seemed totally real) and when I did finally fall asleep it felt like dropping off a cliff and slamming into the rock floor.

  • meleah rebeccah


    I think there is a fortune to be made with that Red Bull eyedrops idea!

  • Single Parent Dad


    Thing is, I don’t even catch up when my parenting responsibilities are temporarily suspend. I still imagine my son is here, and worse still, wake as I don’t hear him. Silly.

  • WeaselMomma


    Sleep is for the weak. There will be plenty of time for that when we’re dead! Great job staying awake. Now go get some zzzz’s.

  • Mama Dawg


    I can’t even imagine what you go through with insomnia. I just hope at some point, you’re able to persevere and get some much needed sleep.

  • James


    When I was younger and wilder, we used to have this mantra “Sleeps overrated!” Oh, I long for those days.

  • Melissa


    Even with meds I sleep about 4 hours a night. The other day my shrink told me that I was just going to have to accept this was how long I would sleep every night…then I stood up and punched her in the face…end of story.

    No really, 4 hours a night sucks. I feel your pain…though I do tend to get lots of books read…now if I could just vaccum at midnight without waking the family I would be all set.

  • Heather


    I average about 5 hours on a good night. Luckily, I can make up a little on the weekends, but I feel like I’m creating this sleep deficit that I can’t make good on til I’m dead. My husband falls asleep in seconds. Seconds! I just want to kick him all night long so he has to suffer with me, but I like to pretend I’m a good wife, so I let him sleep.

  • Ann in NJ


    Oh, man, that’s painful. We’re all sick here, and I’m sure the fact that the parents are existing on barely 6 hours a night is part of it. And I’m falling asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow. Which reminds me, gotta stop blogging before bed!

  • Jaina


    Oh Momo, that’s no fun. I sometimes use a falling asleep guided meditation. I got it on iTunes in the podcasts…it’s The Meditation Podcast, one of the episodes is “Falling Asleep”. I can’t use it every night anymore like I did a year or so back, but when I do break it out I always sleep well and soundly. Maybe something like that would work for you?

  • Mark


    All kidding aside I hope that you can find a way to get the sleep you need. Not enough sleep will cause you to age quicker and impair your immune system.

  • Jo Beaufoix


    I agree with Ender hon. As someone else who struggles with sleep I really get this. Big hugs, and I hope you get some rest.

    Sorry I’ve been MIA too. Lifes been mad. xoxoxox

  • Maureen @ Wisconsin Mommy


    I can relate! Actually, I just posted on my blog all about how my insomnia (on occasion) has caused me fall under the spell of the infomercial.

  • nonnasnonsense


    i sleep anywhere from 8-12 hours a night.

    it’s overated.

    i’m exhausted all the time too.

  • Angela


    Yes – I completely agree and feel your pain. I won’t complain now because my boy is actually sleeping through the night, but I have felt your pain. I know the time will come again when he’ll be waking up more I’m sure…

  • jenny from mommin' it up!


    I’m so tired of not sleeping…it’s been about 5 years for me since the problems started, and coincidentally my son’s 5th birthday is tomorrow. HMM! Interesting! Right now I’m so tired I feel like I’m flying on Total Depression Airlines. Ugh.
    We should really talk at 3 a.m. more.

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