Jogging My Memory

posted by Momo Fali on March 11, 2009

My best friend, Bean, saves everything. It has been particularly beneficial when I want to remember something that happened years ago and need help jogging my memory. She will inevitably pull up her organized computer files and find whatever I’m looking for, then will resend me e-mails that I sent her in 2004 just so I can know which work-out tape I was using when it hurt so much that I called the instructor some very colorful names. Kathy Smith, you mock me with all that talking…and breathing.

Yesterday, Bean sent me this from August, 2002. My son was three months old and obviously having difficulty sleeping. I had sent her this e-mail, probably to vent as I so often did.

I don’t know what to do with him. He’s been aspirating on spit-up the past couple of nights, so last night I put him in his car seat to sleep, but he still did it. He doesn’t breathe very well in his car seat either. I can make sure he’s on his side so he won’t choke on it, but I can’t stop it from going up his nose, and understandably, when that happens he freaks out. He tenses up and won’t take a breath. I’ve heard him do it the past few nights and was able to get to him before he bradied (bradycardia…where his heart rate drops dangerously low), but he’s certainly not resting well and neither am I.

What amazes me, is that I had forgotten all about this period of time, but reading about it brought it all back. I now vividly remember his tiny body stiffening and the gulping sound he would make as he struggled to get air down his throat because his nose was filled with fluid. My, maybe, six pound, three month old probably felt like he was drowning.

I figure that I forgot these episodes because there have been so many other tough experiences with my son and it’s much easier and makes me much happier to remember the fun stuff. Which is mostly what I write about here.

But, that doesn’t mean I will ever forget the first time I stroked my son’s head, or the first time he was wheeled away from us for heart surgery, or when a nurse stood over him when he stopped breathing in the recovery room after a surgery three years ago and yelled in my boy’s face, “Don’t quit on me!”

Some things you can’t forget even if you want to.

But, I much prefer to think about the time when we were in Target and he ran away from me and yelled for me to “come chase him and pinch his butt”, or the time when he asked me if he could take a quarter to school for “Q” day and put it in the “little pocket on the front of his underwear”, or when he saw a woman in a red sweat-suit and called her “Santa’s brother”. I could never decide if it was worse to get insulted by a five-year old, get called a man, or be told you resemble a jolly old elf.

He once told a very much alive, elderly woman that she had “died” because she was old. He mentioned to our cable repairman that he looked like Santa, because of his “big round belly”. And, it’s a toss-up as to whether my personal favorite is the time when he told a masculine woman that she looked like “kind of a girl”, or when we were at the doctor’s office and he mistook two Muslim women’s head scarves for bandannas and called them both “pirates”.

Some things you can’t forget and never, ever want to.

These things that mortified me at the time, now make me laugh and remind me that despite everything this kid has gone through, he still has an amazing spirit and this gift of wit and sarcasm like none I’ve ever seen.

Which is why I’m glad Bean sent me that e-mail. To remind me not to sweat the small stuff, because my son has come so far. So very far. And, through it all he has chosen to make us laugh instead of complain.

However, none of this can make me stop calling Kathy Smith names.

    Comments

  • Ann in NJ


    Isn’t that the way of it? We struggle with today, and sometimes it’s looking back that reminds us how much we’ve done that was harder, and makes today easier to bear. “This too shall pass”, after all.

  • Kat


    Kathy Smith is a masochist. Your little boy is such a joy to hear about. I just want to hug him and tell him how awesome he is!

  • Single Parent Dad


    That bad stuff, makes the good stuff, all that more amazing.

  • St


    Maybe I’ll mix up my Jillian with a little Kathy…
    Every now and then I relive my little girl’s first seizure. Every single detail is crystal clear even though most of the time the memory is far, far away.

  • the planet of janet


    he’s an amazing child. i love his take on things (the pocket in the front of his underwear??? bwahahahahahahhaa)

  • Josi


    There’s a pocket in the front of his underwear? How convenient 🙂

  • Always Home and Uncool


    But can Bean tell me where my frickin’ car keys are? Frick!

  • Ashley


    That’s a great outlook to have…

  • WeaselMomma


    Awwwwwwww. Great post.

  • Otter Thomas


    Your boy is hilarious. Every one of those good memories crack me up. Kind of woman and the underwear pocket are the best.

  • geeksinrome


    I think we may be related: my son is obsessed with “Q” and I love the little pocket in front of men’s underwear/longjohns (so much so, I always wore men’s longjohns around the house).

    I can’t believe the kind of terror and fear you and your son went through… That he made it so far is testament that he is never going to quit on any of you!! big kiss for da man!

  • Heather


    Yeah I don’t like kathy either.

    I forget stuff too, until I see a picture, or someone reminds me, and then I can’t believe I forgot.

  • Bee and Rose


    Kathy Smith can go jump in a lake, but she would probably just turn it into a workout dvd!

    You are one amazing woman:) I love the pinchy butt chase! Cute! What a fantastic spirit he has! I love reading your stories about him:)

  • the*4*of*us


    the “kind of a girl” one sounds like the best! I can’t imagine going through the scary moments that you have–but i’m sure you are so much stronger b/c of it all.

  • Melissa


    OMG, I LOL’d at the pirate story. I would have died of embarrassment and then laughed my butt off..

  • James


    I snorted at the pirate comment! Very funny what comes out of the mouths of the little ones. I wasn’t familiar with the back story, but wow, sounds like you have been through a lot. Glad to hear things are better.

  • Mark


    You and your son are very blessed. Thanks, much of this made me smile.

  • Debbie


    I’m dying laughing at the “chase me and pinch my butt” comment! That is priceless.

  • AlisonH


    That last line! You know exactly where he gets his talent from!

    And yes. We don’t remember how bad things were, we just don’t, not really, till we go back and re-read the at-the-time stuff.

  • Junk Drawer Kathy


    Your posts about your son always make me want to cry — with joy. I love your little boy. May he embarrass you in ways you can’t imagine for the rest of your life.

  • kaila


    Your boy is amazing and the fact that your friend, bean saves all of this information for you is amazing.

    BTW he gets his gift of wit and sarcasm from you!

  • kaila


    Oh, and I forgot, Kathy Smith can bite me.

  • Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;)


    I’m not sure who Kathy Smith is, but if you guys don’t like her, I won’t like her either!

    My 4 yo daughter likes to come up behind me and smack me on the butt and say “I’m playing your butt drum.”

    Your son has be ROTFLMAO!!!

  • OHmommy


    oh gosh…. i wish i had my emails from early on but i deleted my hotmail and aol account shortly aftre giving birth.

  • MammaDawg


    LOL – I’m still crackin’ up about the pocket in the front of his underwear!

  • Rhea


    I love seeing old emails I’ve sent, and remembering times I forgotten…

    although, wow, that experience does not sound pleasant.

  • musing


    You’ll be so glad to have these things written down so you can bribe him, er, I mean, remember them years from now.

  • Maggie May


    you have such a clearsighted heart.

  • Rebecca Anne


    This entry reminded me why all the years of my daughters lives I started and still maintain something I call “memory envelopes”
    I’ll try to explain. For each of those little funny moments, or a milestone, something they say or did, or a thought I may have about one of my kids that day, I simply grab a notecard, or piece of stationary and scribble the memory down for them. Then I seal it up, put the name and date on the outside and toss it into chest I had to purchase to contain them all.
    Each of my daughters have hundreds of these letters now, and someday I plan on giving the gift of memories we may have forgotten.
    I wrote about it more on my journal in case your interested, at the top under under the tab that says “letters” under page “1 The why.”
    Not to be sober, but I’ve always thought that if something happened to me, by doing these little snippets and letters over the years, I could give them something priceless and precious. Maybe something their own children will love to read about thier own Moms someday.
    I know this has gotten long now, but when I read about your email and emotions you had forgotten, I was reminded again why I do those ‘memory envelopes’…
    Something all Moms could have fun with~
    Have a beautiful weekend!
    Rebecca

  • Heather


    You little guy is truly someone special. And I think we’re all blessed to “know him” in one way or another. I love that he will always make me smile. Always. I need that. :]

  • Bean


    Aw… I love it!!

  • meleah rebeccah


    Geez. Im tearing up over here. I dont know how you ever kept your amazing strength and sense of humor though all of this. You are the most awesome woman I know.

  • Tracey


    Thanks for making me laugh… tell your son he brings joy to many. (and you do too!)

  • Crimson


    I’m with you on the Kathy Smith Thing.

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