Oprah Cliffs Notes VIII

posted by Momo Fali on April 7, 2009

Last year I took fingers to keyboard and wrote to Oprah’s people about the community of moms I had found on-line. I thought it was a great idea for a show. I mentioned that blogging had opened up a new world for me….a world where I didn’t feel strange talking about the things no one ever tells you before you become a parent.

Yesterday’s Oprah featured moms and mom bloggers talking about motherhood and all the weird and frightening stuff that no one ever tells you before you become a parent. What a coincidence!
Needless to say, I was very interested in this show because I’m a mom blogger. And, because it was my idea. Not that I’m always a mom blogger. Sometimes, I’m a blogger who writes about Oprah shows which feature mom bloggers. That’s totally different.
This is Daphne. I personally know Daphne. Well, not so much personally know her as I’ve seen her on-line. Daphne is a new mom who admitted to pumping just before the show so that she wouldn’t burst. Considering that she also said her life sometimes resembles a sit-com, I felt the bursting would have been appropriate. Because, that? Funny stuff.

This is Karen. I really do know Karen. Well, not so much really know her as I really know some of her friends. Okay, not so much really know some of her friends as stalk some of her friends. So, yeah. In a nutshell, Karen and I are tight. Karen wanted to share her method of discipline with the audience, and that is to let your kids think you’re just a little bit crazy. Thank you, Karen. Consider it done.

This is Heather. I have no idea who she is.

Heather said she doesn’t like the early mornings that come with motherhood. This shouldn’t be a big problem much longer because her daughter is five. Oh…well, there is that little matter of Heather being seven months pregnant. Because the only thing better than facing an early morning, is facing an early morning with cracked and bleeding nipples.

And, here’s Vicki. Vicki recently was on a long car trip with her kids when she needed to use the restroom. When she saw that her children were all sleeping, she did the logical thing…instead of waking them, she peed in a diaper. This is her best, “Yep, I peed in a diaper” face.

Dee-Dee is not one to be outdone. Dee-Dee once ran out of diapers and instead of going out for more in the middle of the night, she fashioned her own out of maxi-pads.

What did I learn from this show? I learned it’s not really your idea if they can plug a new ABC sitcom at the same time. But more than that, I learned that I’m not as bad a mom as I thought I was.

Neither one of my kids has ever had to wear a maxi-pad.

    Comments

  • Tara R.


    I never once considered peeing in a diaper either… that said, I’m getting to that age when that is not so foreign an idea. Too bad you didn’t get props for sending in the idea for the show.

  • Melisa with one S


    Brilliant as always, Momolicious! The least Oprah could have done was send you a swag bag, or a new car or something since you sent them the idea.

    Maxipads? My boys never had to wear them either. Yay! I’m a good mom too! 🙂

  • threebysea


    Interesting show idea- congrats on coming up with it! Regarding Heather, she’s Heather Armstrong. Her website is Dooce.com and she’s hysterical. I think you’d like her brand of humor.

  • Always Home and Uncool


    Oprah interviewing moms? What’s next — Oprah shamelessly helping celebs promote their movies and books?

    PS — I think you could take down that Heather chick in three rounds, easily.

  • the*4*of*us


    I caught part of that–not normally an oprah fan but I liked that one 🙂
    Heather is from dooce.com
    I’ve read her for a few years but lately not so much. She was the only blogger I recognized.
    They should have had you and your son on 🙂

  • Heather B.


    I love that someone took your “This is Heather. I have no idea who she is” comment seriously.

    Sorry but I just had to comment on that.

  • WeaselMomma


    I can’t believe Oprah dissed you for Dooce! I would actually watch if you were on Oprah.

    Oh, and I’ve been doing the keep the kids a little scared that Mommy is really crazy bit for years!

  • the*4*of*us


    duh—you linked to heather so you obviously know where to find her. not sure why I told you.

  • Ali


    oh. my. god. she PEED in a diaper? that’s way worse than the maxi pads. i think.

    also. what Heather B said.
    🙂

  • Kat


    Diaper out of a maxi pad? Now that is resourceful!

  • Karen MEG


    Great recap and I can’t believe they didn’t give you props for your great idea. You are the ultimate “O-mom” after all (wha????)

    Yeah, what does that Heather chick know anyway, bet she doesn’t even know what to do with that $40K a month in ads – oh my crap!

  • Single Parent Dad


    See this is when fathers, quite literally, p*** all over mothers, I’d have just done it up the wheel of my car. (That’s the ones on the outside, rather than that of the steering variety).

  • threebysea


    In my defense, I was still on my 1st cup of coffee this morning & thought I was being helpful when I wrote my earlier comment. My sarcasm meter hadn't warmed up yet! 😉 A few cups of coffee later and some time to wake up, I now see what a dingbat moment that was- lol! Oh,well- whatcha gonna do?

  • Kim


    Classic Momo recap.. loved it.. and always chuckled OUTLOUD and agreed with Heather B. Good stuff Momo.. good stuff..

  • Out-Numbered


    You are hilarious! I too have sent in ideas about Dad Bloggers and assume those will be stolen as well. Nicely done. Screw Oprah. Let’s get on Montel!

  • Misty


    once again I missed an oprah episode that you recap. It could be a coincidence since I miss all Oprah episodes (i did catch the one with Michael J Fox), but I digress…

    I laughed out loud when you got to Heather and said “i don’t know her.” Poor Heather… I love her though…

  • Mz. Nesbit


    i can’t believe oprah stole your show idea!
    lol

  • Caffeine Court


    Okay, I’m going to admit something totally gross. I once had to put on a Pull-Up and pee in it while we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the George Washington Bridge. It was either that or stick my ass out the window. I thought it was much classier to go with the Pull-Up.

    By the way, they are VERY absorbent.

  • Nap Warden


    Oh Oprah…the least she could have done was thank you:P
    I have never peed in a diaper. I feel I have not been initiated into the motherhood club…

  • melissa


    ok…now i don’t need to watch the oprah show that i was feeling so sad i missed!
    i’m so relieved that i’ve NEVER peed in a diaper. or used maxi pads in lieu of a diaper.
    phew.
    thanks for the coverage!!
    xo

  • Otter Thomas


    Obviously you are too smart to get credit for the idea. They need people like maxi pad mom and the vigilante road trip diaper mom.

  • Bean


    Too funny! I love how you say that about not knowing her so deadpan! And here, I’m not even a “real” blogger, but before I clicked on her name I thought, “She must be Dooce…”

  • Angella


    I finally watched this about an hour ago (Mondays are CRAZY) and your recap is the best I have seen since this aired yesterday.

    I *Do* know Karen personally and loved how graceful and amazing she was.

    My kids have never worn a maxi-pad either. I have at least nine years until Emily needs one for the purpose it was intended for.

  • ♥georgie♥


    I missed this! dang it but Thanks for the recap

  • Secret Agent Mama


    I think you and I, both, should be on Oprah! For serious.

    P.S. Do you know that I read everything. I’m just a shitty commenter. Well now you know!

    xoo

  • Natalie


    laughing hard! um…who’s heather again? hahahahaha!

  • devri


    cracking me up lady!!!

  • Twenty Four At Heart


    I enjoyed tweeting w/you during this show. I really think they should have included moms of kids who are older than 5 on the show. When Leta turns into a teenager it will be the first time the world has heard about raising teenagers. Never mind that there are thousands of moms out there blogging about it now. (And I’m generally not one of them, with today being a weird exception.)

    OK – now my comment isn’t even making sense. Never mind.

  • Captain Dumbass


    You’re just lucky Oprah didn’t have you “disappeared,” I hear that’s her M.O.

  • the planet of janet


    i have a few years before i need diapers again. i don’t think i particularly want to rush that.

  • Heather


    That hussy Oprah STOLE your idea and didn’t even send you a swanky gift?

    Damn. The economy IS bad.

    😉

  • musing


    You should’ve so been on that show!

  • Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas


    I can’t believe they used your idea and didn’t have you on. That’s poor form.

    And I also can’t believe people didn’t get the Dooce joke. That is almost funnier than the Dooce joke.

  • anya


    Damn – I missed Oprah….I was watching Kung Fu Panda for the 12th time that day…

    I love the mommy blogger community too and all the funny, embarassing, heart wrenching, courageous and humble stories that people are willing to share with the world. It is comforting to know that someone somewhere is probably going throught the same challenges as I face on a daily basis.

  • Heather


    My mom used to babysit my daughter when I was taking night classes in college, and she ran out of diapers, and safety pinned kitchen dishtowels to my daughter’s nether regions. And not just once, either.

  • Bee and Rose


    This should have totally been your rodeo, cowgirl! UGH!

    I am boycotting Oprah for personal reasons now, but if you were on, I would definitely watch you!

  • Debbie


    Geez those Oprah people. Get an original idea, will you people? Stealing from you. I’m not surprised though.

  • Angella Ellisha


    Awesome idea to send to Oprah! I agree that they could have sent you a gift baggie or something…

  • Mark


    Funny stuff

  • Monica


    And on NPR tonight, the woman who put together True Mom Confessions was featured; the story focus was on blogs that let moms “confess” what real motherhood is all about. Isn’t that what we are all doing??? Guess we are part of a trend.

  • Monica


    Oh and I know a woman who bought Depends so that she wouldn’t have to stop and go to the bathroom while caring for her infant.

    I remember when she told that story to a group of us who were out to dinner and trading mothering stories and laughing ourselves silly, and we all had that collective OH MY GOD THAT’S A BIT BEYOND THE NORM kind of reaction. It was hilarious.

  • jenny from mommin' it up!


    Everything I hoped it would be and more, Momo!

  • Slyde


    i got to hear about this episode all night from my wife, so i guess i have YOU to thank for it!

    about how i should be making money from my blog.. blah blah blah…

  • kaila


    I am ashamed to say, that I too, while stuck in traffic, peed into a diaper. Glad I am not the only one though. If feels good to get it off my chest.

  • mrsmouthy


    All’s I know is that if I were the mom who peed in a diaper, I would be wearing my best genius face for that picture. Why have I never thought of that??

  • LiteralDan


    I’m pretty sure Oprah owes you a car. At least a Chevy.

    And I only wish I had thought of the diaper trick when I still had so many laying around.

    Oh, that’s right, I was born with a penis, nature’s handy urine-pouring spout. I could have just dumped out one of the rancid bottles from under the seat, and have at without any of the indignity.

  • Mrs4444


    OMG-I thought I was the only one who had once peed in a diaper out of desperation! Wow.

  • Rebecca Anne


    Your entry was wonderul, a nice recap to a show I missed…..
    And all these comments? Funny! Like a little confessional.
    Sorry I missed that show~
    Rebecca

  • Meleah Rebeccah


    I think you are an awesome mother. And, you are hilarious.

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