Now Hiring: Bathroom Monitor

posted by Momo Fali on June 25, 2009

The other day my seven year old son came in the room where I was reading and proudly announced, “I just peed in the bathtub!”

I put down the newspaper. “What? Why?”

“Because my sister was using the toilet and I needed to pee really bad.”

This conversation would make perfect sense…if we didn’t have two other toilets.

The next afternoon, he was eating some grapes when he dropped his entire bowl on the floor. Because we have two dogs, there is no such thing as a five-second rule in this house. My husband told him to go wash off the grapes before eating any more of them.

After a few minutes my son returned with any empty bowl.

I asked, “Where are your grapes?”

“I put them down the drain.”

I hesitantly asked, “In the kitchen sink?”

“No. In the bathroom.”

My BBQ skewers have never come in so handy.


  • OhCaptain

    Would I get to hand out those combs from the blue water while sitting next to every cologne under the sun? Do I get to keep all the tips?

  • Hockeyman

    hmmm, maybe a nanny cam in the bathroom? If it doesn't catch anything bad perhaps you could become a youtube sensation.

  • Melisa with one S

    Oh my. At least he… I mean, you didn't have to… err, but the…

    Never mind.

  • MommyTime

    Well, he's resourceful, if nothing else. *sigh* I feel your pain. The "help" I get sometimes from my kids makes hindrance completely unnecessary. 🙂

  • WeaselMomma

    hehehehehehehe. Just switch the functions of the kitchen and the bathroom and you will be golden.

  • Gertrude Groggins -

    My coworker (a grown man, mind you) told me the other day that he had put his chew down the bathtub drain while taking a shower…later that day his wife went to take a bath and his chew sorta floated back up into the bathwater…
    Maybe they never outgrow this?

  • Devri


  • Kori

    HA! Kills me, it really does. Sam has been known to go pee off the porch, though, not in the tub.

  • Tom

    You've just proven the maxim that states that necessity is the mother of invention. Or, invention is the necessity of mother.

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4

    Any excuse to pee in anything but a toilet? 😉

    At least you have a good reason for those BBQ skewers 🙂

  • Single Parent Dad

    I thought everyone peed in the bathtub, saves having to aim.

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

    Well, huh. Right. Of course.

  • Debbie

    Oh my. You have your hands full there!

  • AlisonH

    To use on him or the drain? (Sorry… But the thought would probably have crossed my mind, even if the worst I would have done would have been to make him skewer them back up.)

  • Lynette

    AHAHAHAAH….Mother of invention, indeed.

  • James (SeattleDad)

    Oh man! So this is to what you speak. Boys.

  • surprised mom

    What Melisa with one S said. And only if you pay time and a half.
    Ok, LMAO over here.

  • Jason

    Just throw a urinal cake in the tub and you're all set!

    As for the grapes…uhm, we only have one dog and if you drop something it's gone before it hits the floor.

  • Mum-me

    All children have a strange, unimaginable logic when they are young. Thankfully, girls usually learn common sense as they grow. Boys, well……

  • JonnyTam13

    I don't know what the big fuss is. The logic he speaks makes plenty of sense to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use the tub.

  • Mrs4444

    Hilarious, as usual. I'd offer to help, but I've been known to pee in odd places myself. Can't wait to meet you IRL at BlogHer. I'm thinking we should make a BlogHer "Yearbook" for everyone to sign. (Just kidding; I'm much too lazy for that!)

  • Heather

    Wait. You don't do the 5 second rule because of the dogs? Cause, umm, we have two dogs, and we still do the 5 second rule…

    When we can beat the DOGS to the food.


  • okiesister

    Please note that grapes and raisins are as deadly as chocolate to dogs.
    Grapes cause kidney failure in canines.

  • Corey~living and loving

    ummm yeah…..monitoring is needed. tee hee

  • Aunt Debbi/kurts mom

    Well, now I feel a little better. Some monkey is eating in the bathroom. ewwwww.

  • NukeDad

    Shis-ka-grape? Fruit salad on a stick? You should franchise this.

  • Oscar

    MMmmmm sauted grape kebobs

  • meleah rebeccah

    I am cracking UP just imagining you having to use BBQ skewers to pull grapes out of the bathroom drain!!!!!

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