Archive for July, 2009

Sugar, Sugar

posted by Momo Fali on July 31, 2009

I had my first migraine when I was eight years old. I remember being in the school nurse’s bathroom, alone, scared, vomiting up my cafeteria lunch with my head hurting so bad that I wanted to crack it open on the corner of the sink and let the pain spill all over the linoleum floor. Ah, good times, good times.

I have tried a lot of different medications in the last thirty years, but none of them really work. Five weeks ago, I decided to take things into my own hands and see if giving up sugar would help.

It’s not no-sugar, but it’s so-low-it-may-as-well-be-no-sugar. And, you know what? It did help. In a four week span, I had one headache. ONE. That’s unheard of.

But, in the past week (and I’m totally blaming this on my trip to Chicago) I have let myself enjoy bread, and wine…and chocolate again. Which is probably why I’m typing this at 5:00am and have been up all night with a headache.

Yep. It’s time for me to get back on the wagon.

At the very least, my teeth are very happy about this situation. The Honey Nut Cheerios, however, are ticked.

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Pulling No Punches

posted by Momo Fali on July 29, 2009

While driving the car, I looked in the rear view mirror to see my seven year old son lean slowly across the back seat toward his older sister. His movements were deliberate so as not to be seen by me.

Then in a hushed tone I heard him say, “Hey, Sis. Let’s play slug bug so I can slug you.”

Forget Cleveland…it’s Chicago that Rocks

posted by Momo Fali on July 27, 2009

I learned many things at the blogging conference I just attended in Chicago. There were a lot of sessions, and speakers, and sponsors…and parties.

The first thing I learned is that you can’t physically be in three different places at once, no matter how hard you try. The moment I arrived, I had a trio of gatherings to attend. I chose to go to a volunteer meeting where the coordinator told us not to show up at our 7:00am shift hungover. Which led me to raise my Corona in the air in agreement and exclaim, “Hear hear!”

I also found out that no matter how much you love your roommate, you may not like her as a bedmate. Unless, of course, you like waking up with another woman lying on half of your body with her face nuzzled in your neck. Did I mention the snoring?

I learned invaluable information, such as how to use your Blackberry to find a dive bar near the Sears Tower that serves $3.00 margaritas and cheese-stuffed pretzels. I found out that you can pay a bum to show you to the train station and that meeting your favorite bloggers is kind of like meeting your best friend and a celebrity all at the same time. That’s not my line, it’s his.

I was taught that free beer is awesome, sun-dried tomato and goat cheese canapé turns to paste in your mouth and that deep-fried macaroni and cheese may be the world’s most perfect food. Though you may want to have a defibrillator handy.

I found out that my favorite author is more than amazing in person and that she won’t sign her latest book when it’s a copy you checked-out from the library and carted to Chicago. What? I was totally going to pay the library to replace it. Don’t judge me, people.

If it wasn’t for the conference, I wouldn’t have been educated in how to drive a Tahoe (thanks for the loaner, Chevy), how to win an iPod Touch (thanks for the raffle, Hanes) and how to find hidden hotel suites giving out free clothes (thanks for the shirt and jeans, GAP).

And finally, I learned that it is great to see old friends and that you shouldn’t take Ambien before saying goodbye to your new friends, because when they are hugging and crying, you’ll be laughing and chasing unicorns.

Random Realizations III

posted by Momo Fali on July 22, 2009

1. If your son decides to eat some fruit, make sure he doesn’t leave 1/4 of a watermelon sitting out where your puppy can eat it…rind and all.

2. When you are driving a car to Chicago that is on loan from a very nice company (Hi Chevy!) you may want to make sure you know where the windshield wipers are before you go driving in the rain.

3. And, when removing a very heavy, rear seat from said car, make sure you don’t let it swing down and hit you in the ovary.

4. The summer breeze through the screen door isn’t quite as bug-free if your five month old, 50 pound puppy goes right through it to get to the mailman.

5. Ironing on a humid day is not fun.

6. No matter how prepared you are for a trip out of town to meet a thousand people, you will never be prepared for the zit you’ll get. In your eyebrow.

7. If you think the Vietnamese people at the nail salon are talking about you, that’s because they are.

8. No matter how crazy your kids make you and no matter how much they fight, when they are not home the silence will be deafening and you’ll miss them a lot.

9. When you are on a sugar-free diet and there is homemade wine in your refrigerator, it’s pretty much torture.

10. No really. Ironing totally stinks.