1. If you have any short-shorts, then by all means, wear them! They are best paired with a halter top and a large belly.
2. People with dirty toenails shouldn’t wear sandals.
3. When you stand in line for an hour with thousands of people in 95 degree heat, things are going to get real stinky.
4. I hate ferris wheels.
5. I love roller coasters.
6. $4.15 for a 22 ounce fountain drink is a complete rip-off.
7. My inner ear isn’t what it used to be.
8. Dramamine is awesome!
9. When your seven year old son will only ride in things that are red, you may want to call his doctor to further discuss his OCD tendencies.
10. You might be in such a huge hurry to get into the park in the morning, that at the end of the day you will forget where you parked. Then you will cry.
11. The shower you take after a day at the amusement park is the best shower you will ever take.
12. When your son bursts into tears and says, “I want to live at Cedar Point!” all of the above will be totally worth it.