Archive for October, 2009

Some See Double, I See Poultry

posted by Momo Fali on October 28, 2009

I have been known to do unusual things after taking Ambien. What is remarkable about these things is that I often have no recollection of them. Luckily I don’t eat, drive or call people. Shout out to my big sister! Put down the phone Trish!

Mostly, I just write. As it turns out, I did some of that last night. I vaguely remember penning notes to my two children and to my husband before I went to bed. I know they were love notes, left for them to read when they woke up. If you had asked me what those notes said this morning, however, I would have been clueless.

So sometimes there are brief remembrances about the previous evening, but not always. I logged on to Twitter today, and had absolutely no memory of leaving this update last night:

On Ambien…just saw woman seductively stick her leg around our bedroom door and it turned out to be a huge Turkey drumstick.

A hallucinating, crazy woman in the bed and a woman with legs made of turkey behind the door.

My husband is one lucky guy.

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Who Wants More Floor?

posted by Momo Fali on October 26, 2009

When my husband and I bought our house nearly 12 years ago, we did a complete renovation. Walls were torn down, floors were torn up and every single room got a fresh coat of paint…or three.

We were in a hurry to get things done because we hated living with the mess and about four months into the renovation, I got pregnant. That really caused us to speed up the process. As a matter of fact, the last bit of carpet was installed the day before my daughter was born.

Because we felt rushed, we made some mistakes along the way. I chose wallpaper because they had enough rolls in stock, not because I actually liked the pattern and I picked white grout for our kitchen and back entrance, because I didn’t consider how quickly a dog and future children would muddy it.

But, by far, the biggest mistake we made was in choosing our flooring. We made bad decisions on the color of carpet, we bought cheap vinyl for our bathrooms and we used contract installers from out of town. If I could rip up those floors and start from scratch I would.

This is one reason that I am so thrilled with the new carpeting in our mudroom. It looks good, it was installed perfectly and the color and texture are just what we needed. You know why? Because it was researched by a trusted Rite Rug employee who steered us in the right direction every step of the process. We also bought an area rug from Rite Rug years ago and it is the only other flooring purchase I’m truly happy with.

And now someone else has the chance for some flooring happy! Rite Rug has generously offered a $199.00 gift certificate to one of my lucky readers! You can use it for the purchase of an area rug, or new bathroom floor, or put it toward new wall-to-wall carpet. The choice is yours!

To enter, first make sure you live near a Rite Rug location. If your home is within the vicinity of a Rite Rug store, just leave a comment here before Friday, November 6th at noon EST. Please leave me a valid e-mail address so I can contact you if you’re the lucky winner!

Good luck, everyone!

**UPDATE**

Congratulations to Shelly…AGAIN! Last time, my daughter picked your name out of a hat and this time my son did.

Call Me Sickly

posted by Momo Fali on October 26, 2009

Ohmygosh, so like remember when I had swine flu and then after that I got pneumonia? And then my doctor called and sent me to the hospital because he thought I had a pulmonary embolism, but I took a test where I sucked in a bunch of radioactive stuff and the bad pain I was having was actually from pleurisy? And right after I got over the pleurisy pain, I got a cold? And then remember how I told my boss that it was TOTALLY a good thing that I had a sore throat because that meant my sinuses were draining? And then my sinuses stopped draining and I started coughing and my lungs felt like they were filled with concrete so I went to the emergency room in the middle of the night because I thought my pneumonia had come back? And remember how the doctor sent me for my third chest x-ray in the last month and then told me that all that gunk that drained out of my sinuses had gone down my throat and into my lungs?

So it turns out I don’t have recurring pneumonia, but it does turn out that the sore throat I had two days ago? Was not such a good thing after all.

Things I Said Yesterday

posted by Momo Fali on October 23, 2009


To my son:

“Maybe if you would have gone to the bathroom when I told you to, I wouldn’t be standing in the shower holding your piece of cheese and trying to wash my hair one-handed!”

“Is that stain on your jacket from when you threw up phlegm at recess or is it a blood stain from yesterday’s loose tooth?”

“Hurry up and go poop!”

To the puppy:

“Get your butt off my new throw pillow!”

“Get your butt off my laptop!”

“Hurry up and go poop!”

To my daughter:

“The puppy ate your soccer ball.”

To a newly purchased cleaning product:

“Your bottle says ‘streak-free shine’. You are not streak-free shining.”

To the television:

“Wow. Rick Springfield has had some work done.”

To my husband, when he asked me suggestively what was for dessert:

“Chocolate chip cookies.”