1. After three weeks, “taking it easy” becomes completely overrated.
2. Daytime television is horrible, but middle-of-the-night television is even worse. At one point, you may find yourself so desperate that you watch an episode of Three’s Company. Shudder.
3. After two chest x-rays and a lung scan where you have to breathe radioactive gas through a tube, you’ll realize that if the flu, pneumonia or possible pulmonary embolism won’t kill you, the radiation eventually will.
4. Chicken and noodles is good.
5. Pain medicine is even better.
6. You may be so out of it that you won’t realize new carpet is being installed until it’s already been laid, covered with mud and cleaned up.
7. When no one will come near you, your dog’s affection is absolutely wonderful.
8. Even if that dog stinks.
9. Once you feel better and tell people you’re no longer contagious they will still take two steps back if you come near them.
10. You may come home from the hospital to find flowers, home-cooked food and groceries all over your kitchen.
11. And then you will realize how lucky you really are.