Let it Go

posted by Momo Fali on November 2, 2009

There are a lot of things you give up when you have children. You simply have to learn to let some things go. Like a good night’s sleep, disposable income and liquid assets.

You also have to accept the muddy floors, juice stained school uniforms and beds that don’t make themselves.

You have to understand that the bathmat will get soaked, that little children like to smudge up the television, the computer monitor and the car windows, and even though a backpack has come home without the slightest remnant of a snack for over a month, it doesn’t mean you won’t look in there one day and suddenly find a small container full of moldy strawberries. Hypothetically.

However, since I started my new job I’ve found it really hard to let those things go ignored because I just don’t have the time to deal with them. It’s one thing to see a load of laundry sitting on the floor in the basement and think, “I’ll get to that later” and it’s something else entirely to actually get it done.

It didn’t used to bother me if I saw a pair of socks on the living room floor or dishes in the sink, because I knew I would have time to take care of it. Now, I simply don’t get that chance. It’s frustrating and I have been letting it drive me crazy.

Yesterday, in the midst of cleaning the house, my daughter asked me to stop and listen to her play a song on her electric piano. As I sat on the edge of her bed and listened to her play Pachelbel Canon, I realized that I really need to stop worrying about whether the floors need swept or if the blinds are dirty.

Because as she played that beautiful music all I could think about was how dusty her keyboard was.

    Comments

  • Melisa with one S


    You're a woman after my own heart. I'm the same. We're pitiful.

  • Tara R.


    Didn't see that coming, but should have, because I would have had the same thought.

  • Deb Thaxton


    –>I agree with you on it all. We work so hard to have the house clean and laundry done that we don't enjoy the people In the house enough.

    ~deb
    http://www.WebSavyMom.com

  • terri


    Melisa beat me to my comment!

    I can assure you, even when the kids reach 16, 18, 20 years old… those little things will still bug the CRAP out of you. There are those who assure me that I'll miss those messes when the kids are all moved out. But I seriously doubt it.

  • Carolyn...Online


    It's so nice to be me. A natural born slob. Most of those things just don't bother me. My husband on the other hand…

  • anya


    Yep. That'd be me too!

  • Amy


    I could have written this. It's the thing about working full time that bothers me most consistently. I'm just not home to do so many things that need done! So frustrating.

  • Sue


    Ugh can completely relate. Why do we all feel the need to be perfectionists?!

  • Aunt Juicebox


    It never all gets done, so no point stressing over it. I told my husband I want a maid for my birthday, just so the house would be all clean, all at the same time, for at least one single day this year.

  • Surfer Jay


    Oh conrare mon frere…. Have you not the same liquid assets as the rest of us? I am swimming in an abundance of liquid assets in the form of vomit, urin, drool, spilled juice, and boose. Don't deny it sister.

    "I really need to stop worrying about whether the floors need swept or if the blinds are dirty." A wise woman once said.

    (I'm gonna show that to my wife the next time she gets off work and starts yelling at us for leaving the house a wreck. Thanks.

  • Sadia


    I'm the kind of mom who lets it all go in the interest of the Important Things.

    I just can't take it any more. Tonight, the girls get TV after dinner, and I'm cleaning like a madwoman.

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4


    Me too. Wish there was a fix!

  • Monica


    I am struggling mightily with this. I crave more order, but am constantly surrounded by chaos I cannot control because I am working so much.

    But last night, I said pshaw to the laundry and played beachball "volleyball" with my son in the insanely warm November evening here in California. It was AWESOME…but the laundry nagged at me the entire time.

    Then, later, when it was time to finally DRY the school uniforms…the power went out. Was still out when I went to sleep. Had to pray the power would be back on this morning and get up at 5:20 to get the clothes going. It was…TG.

    It's always somethin'.

  • Zoeyjane


    I have the same problem. And am now considering avoiding music lessons in the future, to combat the potential issues.

  • Mum-me


    That was funny.

    I'm impressed you actually stopped and listened to your daughter – I know a mum who wouldn't have.

  • geeksinrome


    You've read Flowers for Algernon, right? The neat and clean room corresponded with Charlie's low level of intelligence. The smarter he got the messier his room got. When he got dumb again the room was back to being neat as a pin.

    You must look at your home the same way: it's the abode of freaking Einstein geniuses!

  • Jaina


    When she's all grown up she won't remember the dust or the socks or the dishes, she'll remember that her mommy sat down to listen to her play the piano. ::hugs:: Hang in there Momo

  • jennieology


    Would you want to come clean my house and employ these feelings of guilt for good? I am a natural born slob, I promise there is plenty of dust to make your house seem as clean as a hospital!

  • The Expatresse


    Oh, I think we all do this. In my heart of hearts I am an anal retentive neatnik. But two kids and two cats make that just impossible. The kids keep bringing home stuff (like cats and gum wrappers and school work and bits of string . . .).

    My very wise sister-in-law once said something about there not being any point in struggling to be someone we are not. We are families, and families are messy.

  • BeautifulWreck


    I am the same way. I am trying to let go. Its hard. I am about to have surgery and be out of commission for six weeks and I have a lot of anxiety about what might happen to my house since I will not be able to stay on top of it.

    I have to get some perspective.

  • Laski


    Totally didn't see that coming . . . and that's why I loved this post.

  • Thea


    I'm hearing ya!

  • WeaselMomma


    I too am caught up in a bad case of the mommies, right now.

  • Ed


    For a minute there I thought you had been to my house.

  • Maureen


    Ahahahaha! Oh that is SO me!

    You slay me.

  • mrsmouthy


    Then I'm assuming her Pachelbel Canon wasn't all that great?

  • Corey~living and loving


    easily one of my very favorite posts of yours. thank you for sharing.

  • AlisonH


    Here's one for you: my mom gave us the family piano when we bought our first house, and so it got moved to New Hampshire. The first time we had it tuned, there was this key that was stuck… Our friend Dave took the thing apart and found–my little brother's long-lost acceptance letter from a college.

    That'll teach me to clean over and inside my piano more often. Or not.

  • Kensi


    You may have been thinking about the dust on the keyboard, but at least you stopped to listen.

  • Karen MEG


    Why did I not know you were had a new job..because I'm a pathetic blog friend!
    But I know exactly what you mean…I've been the same. Before I would leave hair wrapped with dustballs to get to later… now when I see them, after working a 9 – 5:30 day, I HAVE TO VACUUM at that moment. What is UP with that?

    And how lovely that she can play Pachelbel. Dust notwithstanding :).

  • KWG


    Crap, that reminds me. I have to vacuum as well. What if I just wrapped Bea in double-sided sticky tape?

  • meleah rebeccah


    Im sorry Im laughing so hard right now, because I would have had the same thought!! Ahahahahahahah

    Maybe you could spring for a cleaning lady once a month just to help maintain things?

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