Not So Yummy in the Tummy

posted by Momo Fali on November 11, 2009

When my daughter was two years old, I was making the bed one day when she came out of our bathroom chugging a glass of water.

I said, “Boy, you sure are thirsty!” Then I realized that I hadn’t heard any water running. I walked over to find a liquid trail from the doorway to where she had dunked her cup into the toilet. But, at least it was clean water. You know, with that bleach tablet in the tank and all.

Other than that, and my son once taking a sip of dishwasher rinse aid, I haven’t had to call poison control. However, if there was an emergency service to ask whether the dogs were going to die because of something they ate, I would have it on speed-dial.

Our 11 year old Labrador has been the worst culprit. There was the time she ate an enormous, solid, chocolate bunny, the time a chicken bone slipped out of my fingers and she caught it in mid-air and swallowed it whole, and my personal favorite…when she ate a breast pad when I was pumping for my daughter. By the way, there is something infinitely wonderful about a man who will go through the dog’s poop to make sure your breast pad hasn’t entangled itself in the mutt’s intestines. Hi honey!

As for the new puppy…she has a penchant for dead squirrels, dead birds and my son’s vomit.

And, that bleach-filled toilet water? It turns out the dogs like that too. I suppose I should count my blessings because my kids never ate any breast pads.

Tell me boys and girls, what’s the worst thing your kids (or pets) have ever ingested?


  • Melisa with one S

    My older son ate paint. Gonna put that post in draft right now.

    Dog? Tried to eat an electrical cord. Yes, it was plugged in.

    Yes, they're both still alive.

  • WeaselMomma

    a few teaspoons of Desiten diaper rash cream.

  • Tara R.

    The Girls (both Labs) enjoy plastic grocery bags, Legos, pillow stuffing, cotton rugs, and cat poop. Not necessarily in that order.

  • Lisa@verybusymomwith4

    My boys have an obsession with toothpaste—after calls to poison control and the dr. , they need to ingest a whole tube before the get too nervous. Regardless–the fluoride is up high and they have the kid kind :0

  • Kathy

    My cat once ate a piece of gift curling ribbon. How do I know this? Because he was looking ever so curly and festive from behind. I was the once who had to carefully pull the piece out, while my husband held him steady. (The curling ribbon is kept in a cabinet now).

  • Amy

    We came home once to an open bottle of Tylenol on the floor. Not knowing how many she'd eaten, the emergency vet (of COURSE it was midnight) said to give her charcoal. I called around and found some charcoal tablets at Walmart. I went there, called the vet on the cell phone and gave them the number of mg per pill and the dog's weight.

    We needed to give her 11,547 pills. We ended up taking her in and having her stomach pumped, instead. They didn't find a single Tylenol.

    We also came home to find a pan of fudgy brownies gone and a sheepish, sick looking dog. That's when we learned that giving dogs hydrogen peroxide orally (a tablespoon, then wait a couple minutes, then another tablespoon, wait, etc. until it works) makes them vomit. At least that time we didn't have to pay the $150 for the emergency vet.

    The toilet water story makes me want to brush my teeth. Yeurgh!

  • Single Parent Dad

    Not sure I have anything to compare, but surely if the dog is drinking the sterile toilet water, there is no need to brush his teeth?

  • Rachel

    My dog ate the end of a woodworking project one time to include the brass nails. That's her worst, I think, among lost of chocolate, a whole fruitcake, five boxes of raisins in include packaging in one sitting….

  • Middle Aged Woman

    When we first got our little dog, we underestimated her climbing abilities, and she managed to eat a whole bowl full of M&Ms. That dog could climb like a mountain goat. She didn't stand at the window, she stood, all 4 legs, ON the windowsill, 2.5 inches wide.

  • Surfer Jay

    Holly crap, I am totally getting a lock for the toilet seat.
    My boy was chewing on a handful of laxatives two weeks ago….

  • JustOneMiss

    Walked into the kitchen to see my son tipping back a containter of Comet cleanser (that powder stuff) into his mouth. Babyproofing happened after bed that night.

  • Me


    My dog is a moron. She'll eat anything, but she has a thing for poop. She'll TEAR open the garbage bag – not for last night's leftovers, but for the dirty diapers of the infant that I babysit for. GROSS!

    She also has been known to 'help' me clean up accidents when my daughter was potty training. . . *sigh*

  • Monica

    When my youngest was around 1, she ate almost an entire bowl of dog food, the wet kind, before someone caught her. I've rarely, if ever, been more grossed out.


  • meleah rebeccah

    hmmm….once my son ate a babywipe while I was changing his diaper.

  • the*4*of*us

    yuck…this needed a disclaimer at the top. don't read if you're eating.
    a week or so ago, mason ate a small battery. thankfully I didn't know b/c people were quick to tell me of all the deaths they had heard of from that type of battery being swallowed.

  • Di

    Earplugs. One of our cats eats earplugs.

  • Anonymous

    My heeler was good at picking pockets…my remote car key was stuck in my back pocket with the key chain dangling out. She got it and, while playing catch me if you can, swallowed it. I didn't realize how expensive those keys were or I might have searched her poop.

  • Always Home and Uncool

    Our first dog ate the liner to one of my wife's old bathing suits. Caused him to repeatedly throw up for days. Our vet was so impressed, he kept the piece in a bag in the dog's file.

  • Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;)

    Out 2 Malteses are huge poop eaters! They eat their own, they eat each others, they eat the cats, hell, they would probably eat the kid's if they could get to it! I think the nastiest thing they do is dig through the trash in the bathroom and eat "used" feminine protection…gag!

  • Bean

    A girl I worked with was babysitting her nephew with her roommate's Jack Russell puppy in the house, while her roommate was at work. The puppy started freaking out and acting possessed, growling and snarling. When she realized he was defecating, she called her roommate in a panic yelling, "I think he's passing a testicle!!" It turned out to be her nephew's pacifier.

    I nearly passed a testicle laughing when she told me the story.

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]

    JUST last night, the wiener dog ate the BAD menses trash.

    Totally. Gross.

  • Anonymous

    Our dog knows how to open cupboards. He ate an entire box of Raisin Bran. Did you know that raisins are fatal to dogs? He turned out fine.

    The same dog has eaten so many Crayola (won't touch Rose Art) crayons that I had to ask the vet about it. He said that when there are two dogs in a a family and they want to test the poop of one dog, they will shred crayons and put them in the dog's food so the poop comes out colored and they can tell which dog it came from…just thought I'd share!

  • Misty

    Dogs do tend to eat a lot, underwear being among their favorite snacks… but what is it with labs? I've known a lap to eat a plastic coat hanger… That breed will eat ANYTHING!

  • Otter Thomas

    Your daughter drinking toilet water is hilarious. Just another reason for me to remember to keep the lids down.

  • Anonymous

    So we had this dog who ate ANYthing… we called the trash in the bathroom… the SNACK BASKET…

    AND because we has s septic system female hygine products can not be flushed…


  • Aunt Juicebox

    My daughter never got into anything inedible or gross, but I do have a picture of her taking a big ole bite out of a stick of butter when she was about 2.

  • Heather

    Well my boxer/pit mix won't touch anything that's "trash" or considered "gross" and turns her nose up at people food, unless it's steak, and won't counter surf, trash can dig, any of that stuff. (She's seriously like a person trapped in a dog body, I love her to pieces.) Now my pomeranian? She is a DIVA who is an asshole. She begs, she whines, and she is much like the other comments animals who will pretty much be a pain in your ass if you don't give her food. She doesn't trash dig (mainly because she's 5 lbs wet and can't knock the thing over) and she doesn't eat poop or anything gross like that but she is a freakin' climber like you would NOT believe that dog. It's the weirdest thing EVER! She once ate an entire bag of godiva chocolate, and is still alive to tell about it. Strange, that dog. lol.

  • Lindsey

    I love that one of your labels is "how to lose readers." Hilarious image of the toilet cocktail. I'm glad everyone made it through the incidents.

    So far, my toddler has only (to my knowledge) ingested par nastiness: old crackers in the car seat, candy on the floor of the grocery stoor, etc. But once, my dog ate a deflated balloon with the string tied to it. It didn't poison her, but we got a kick out of her when it finally came out the other end. I remember watching her run around the back yard with the string hanging out of her butt and the balloon dragging behind her. Poor dog was all kinds of confused about that!

  • bettyl

    Had a disgusting dog once who loved to chew on used sanitary pads. Is that gross enough?

  • mrsmouthy

    My mom's dog ate a balloon-animal balloon, and my sister ate a slug. My husband ate pea pancakes I made one year, though, and I think he probably had the worst of it.

  • Bad Momma

    When my youngest son was a baby, he started to teethe on a dead mouse along with some wood chips.

    He was on the playground at his "school" when his teacher saw a tail hanging out of his mouth!

    We were horrified at the time. At Christmas, we were given lots of toy mice & children's story books with a mouse theme.

  • Jared

    "I suppose I should count my blessings because my kids never ate any breast pads."

    That you know of… 😀

  • Jaina

    Yuck! That does not sound like a lot of fun. We haven't had our puppy long, but on her first trip to the beach she kept licking up the sand…and then regurgitating it several times. Poor fiance (bf at the time) had to deal with it himself….otherwise he'd have had TWO piles of stuff to clean up.

  • Yona

    My dog ate a plastic bag and it safely found it's way out of his body. I am so paranoid about my nephew when he has chocolate and grapes in his hands around the dog, but then again, he's not much of a sharer…

    The worst scare was when we were on our way out of the house and had just mixed antifreeze and water together and put it in a distilled water jug …and someone (not a kid) almost drank it. They thought it was juice because although it comes out green, it looked pink in the jug. We didnt even think that would happen because it was sitting near the garbage can.

    Leave a Comment

    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *