I’m not sure why, but lately I have been reminiscing a lot. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe it’s the holidays. Or, maybe it’s because I’m getting on a plane tomorrow and am fairly certain of my impending death.
No matter the reason, I have mostly been thinking about my old friend, Barbie. Barbie, Mel and I were inseparable. Here is a picture of the three of us as kids…before things turned ugly.
I think we were such good friends because we could all relate to each other. We were such misfits! I had not yet grown a neck, Barbie could never stay out of her mom’s makeup bag and loved to wear “Nair shorts”, and Mel…well, we could rarely get her out of the trees thanks to her freakishly long arms.
Eventually, I grew a neck and when Mel hit puberty, the rest of her body caught up with her ever-growing arms. We changed. Barbie didn’t. Some people just never grow up.
The Nair shorts became shorter and shorter, and sometimes she didn’t wear shorts at all. Instead of just wearing red lipstick, she started wearing blue eyeshadow too. And, in high school, when she had her first sip of warm beer, we lost her for good.
Barbie turned to Coors Light more often than not, though she did end up getting married. But, she had so many kids that she ended up losing her mind and once gave away all of her family’s food to a strange woman in Ohio.
I heard through the grapevine that during the last couple of years she has completely flipped out and tells everyone that she is, in fact, a weasel. The whole story is just so sad.
Today is Barbie’s birthday. Wherever you are, Barbie, and whether or not you really are crazy, and whether or not you think you’re a human or a carnivorous mammal that looks like a rodent…I miss you. I am wishing you a happy birthday.