Victory

posted by Momo Fali on January 6, 2010

On Monday night, my mom, the kids and I went to dinner to celebrate my sister’s birthday. We hit the local Chinese restaurant, where we were all happily chomping on rice noodles when my seven year old son took a sip of his lukewarm tea and started to cough.

I remember when I would cough like that as a kid and my mom would make me put my arms in the air. I do that with my son too. I also make him look me in the eye as I slowly count to five, then tell him to take a breath. I do anything I can to get his attention off of coughing because, with him, coughing almost always leads to vomiting.

I held my napkin under his chin, as if that would contain his bellyful of Lo Mein and mushrooms. He began to gag as his sister firmly shut her eyes and plugged her ears, as she frequently does. Then my son threw up about a tablespoon of liquid before calming himself down.

I was thrilled! I was so proud of him! His grandmother even gave him a dollar.

He didn’t vomit, and vomit, and vomit some more as he did on the first day of Christmas break. He had a cold and started coughing in the car as we were leaving the school, which is where he started throwing up. He coated his jacket and his booster seat, then leaned out the window and threw up some more. He finished on the ground in the parking lot where I had hurriedly pulled into a spot. I undressed my son next to the car in the frigid temperatures before driving him home to do laundry and bathe him.

That scene, or one like it, plays out about once a week. If we’re lucky. Sometimes it’s more. You might think this is disgusting. But, these are the moments that define the mother I am.

I am the mother of a sick kid. I am the mother of a boy who weighs 38 pounds and will soon be eight years old, who is hard to understand when he speaks and who hears everything as if he is holding his hands over his ears.

I am the mother of a child with OCD tendencies, who easily gags, and chokes, and has horrible reflux, heart defects, hearing loss, a missing tear duct and stubby ear canals. I work as a lunch lady so I can be there to watch over him when he eats. I give him stomach and allergy medicine, sinus rinses, eye drops and ear drops. And, I carry special bags in my car to catch his vomit (when I can).

I am the mother who helps my kids with homework as I am making a dinner that I know my son can eat. Nothing stringy, nothing too spicy, nothing pasty or with an odd texture. Bites need to be dime-sized.

I am the mother who drives her daughter to basketball practice and makes sure to bring a blanket to keep her son warm, because his heart problems make him extra cold.

I am the mother whose son sees not only a pediatrician, but a cardiologist, gastroenterologist, opthamologist, geneticist, allergist, ENT…oh, and we were just told to consult with an orthodontist too. I am the mother who is a pharmacist’s dream and a health insurer’s nightmare.

I am also the mother who cheers when her son doesn’t throw up in the middle of a restaurant during her sister’s birthday dinner.

I am the mother who takes her victories whenever she can.

    Comments

  • WeaselMomma


    You are a super mother and have 2 incredibly awesome kids.

  • Heather


    You are a mother who inspires me daily, and brings me smiles, laughter, and tears with all your wonderful stories about those two awesome kids you have.

    xo

  • AlisonH


    Amen, sister.

  • Bean


    I'm all teary eyed.
    "But, these are the moments that define the mother I am."
    Mo … I love this post.

  • BusyDad


    You are the mother of all mothers. The proof is in your post.

  • Shannon


    You're a damn superhero. The end.

  • Melisa with one S


    You are one of the best mothers I know, and I love you.

  • Stella


    You are an awesome mom to some awesome kids!!

  • Out-Numbered


    Much respect to you. This was a beautiful read. He sounds like a good kid to me. And you are probably the hottest lunch lady on the planet. So there…

  • Moonshadow


    And this is why God has a special place in his kingdom for mothers. May you be abundantly Blessed in 2010!

  • Hockeymandad


    Never EVER doubt you are a great mom. You are a role model to other moms indeed.

  • the*4*of*us


    God Love Him!!!! And you, too! He may have all of those medical issues, but the kid is a riot and gives you lots of great blogging material πŸ™‚

  • Tara R.


    I hear ya mom! It takes a extra special mom to nurture an extra special kid.

    Sometimes those victories are measured in baby steps.

  • Heather


    You are an awesome, awesome mom.

  • BeautifulWreck


    You are a super hero without a cape, but being a mom of special needs children I am aware that you do what you do, cope how you can, and find joy in the simplest things because after all we just love our kids.

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


    You totally deserve the Mom Medal of Awesome.

  • Deb


    amazing writing. amazing.

  • DysFUNctional Mom


    That's what life is all about, moments like that. You take them where you get them.

  • Miss Nanny


    This post is great! I think you are putting a lot of hard work on your blog. I'm sure I'd come back here more often. You can also visit my site where you can find Professional Nannies or you could also post Nanny Needed and Babysitting jobs if you want for free. Thanks!

  • Debby Griffith


    I get it, I always say its the little things in life.

  • Sarah


    I love this post. You are a mother to the child you were given – that's all any of us can do – and to do what you do while maintaining your optimism and humor and heart is beautiful to hear.

    I recently got a spam chain email but it had this beautiful quote at the end with no author credited, and I say this for you today too:
    "May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

  • Oscar


    God Bless You!!!

    Those little things that don't happen, I hear you!

    Love does this.

  • UP


    You blow my mind daily!
    Awesome. I was a 37 lb first grader who wore toddler clothes until the 3rd grade. Great story, and a great mom!

    UP

  • Geeks in Rome


    Mothers are goddesses and you are the Hera of them all!

    Why they don't mandate more women world leaders I'll never know because they obviously handle the stress, complications and messiness better, quicker, smarter and with more class than anyone else.

    Big hugs to your son!

  • Misty


    you are an amazing mom with obvious patience and unending love… many moms could be inspired by you!

  • Aunt Juicebox


    I hate hearing the word orthodontist at such an early age. I don't know why they are pushing braces on kids this young now. My friend has had 3 out of 4 kids in braces. One of them is 11 now, and had his braces before he even lost all his baby teeth. wtf? Her daughter is 13 and had them also before she was 10. The orthodontist is telling her she needs them put back on. For another 6 grand. I think they take people for a ride, guilting you into believing your children have to have braces or you're a bad parent.

    I'll get off my soap box now and just say that I think you are incredible, but as a mom myself, I'm sure you don't feel like you are doing anymore than any other mom would do. But there ARE moms who wouldn't do half of what you have to, so it truly is impressive.

  • Angella


    Beautiful post, lady. You're a superstar.

  • Jaina


    You are a rockstar. Even the smallest victory is worth cheering for. πŸ™‚

  • Otter Thomas


    That is a very touching post. You are a great mom.

  • mrsmouthy


    That is so heart-achingly beautiful. You are really taking this mother-of-the-year thing seriously.

    P.S. There are pharmacists in my family. πŸ™‚

  • Halala mama


    God bless you.

  • Sadia


    You missed a line. It goes like this:
    "I'm a great mother. One of The Greats."

  • Ed


    You left out Role Model.

  • Laski


    YOU, my dear, blow my mind. You amaze me.

    You've got to know that each and every day you are declaring victory . . . you've just got to.

  • the planet of janet


    bravo!

    yes, you do take them where you can.

  • Debbie


    You are a wonderful mother. This post was so well written, so honest and open. And it proves that we never really know what the mom next to us is going through.

  • MommyTime


    This is beautiful, even though laced with vomit — a true testament to you as a writer AND as a mother. Sending hugs of congratulations to you both.

  • Jason @ The Devoted Dad


    You are an awesome mom! You love your kids so much and it shows in the care you give!

  • meleah rebeccah


    Happy Birthday to your sister.

    But, you forgot to mention that you are an AMAZING MOTHER.

  • Always Home and Uncool


    Are you accepting applications for additional kids?

    Nicely done.

  • Catherine


    Great post D! I'm sorry I didn't get to catch up with you at the reunion this summer, but I do love reading about your life here. You've grown up so nicely! πŸ˜‰

    Catherine Sheets Dunwoodie

  • Schmutzie


    This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2010/01/five-star-fridays-edition-86.html

  • Viv


    I can sympathize on the vomit. My oldest daughter used to vomit every time she cried. She was also the most sensitive child in the world, so she cried a lot. I remember the feeling that kicked in when I went into 'brace for it' mode.

    Good for your son, and for you too.

  • Sue


    Awesome, just awesome.

  • madoliv


    God bless you Diane; not only for the mother you are, but for the marvelous way you make me laugh and cry all at the same time.

  • jenny from mommin' it up


    Awesome Momo. I wish I was half the writer you are.

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from Day 22 – Busted - Momo Fali's
    Tuesday, 22 November, 2011

    […] he is also prone to gagging, the congestion and post-nasal crud he has can cause vomiting in a split second. One drip in the […]

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