"Daddy, Where’s Your Vagina?"

posted by Momo Fali on February 18, 2010

I started this blog back in 2007 because I was longing for a creative outlet and I wanted a way to journal the crazy things my kids said and did. There is no way that I’m ever going to let my son forget all the times he’s embarrassed me. Not a chance, kiddo.

After I initially told about 30 friends and family about it, I began to seek out other blogging parents. In doing so, I found a community of people who shared my love of writing and who could see the humor in being a parent. Poop is funny, people.

Very early on, I made a good friend in Joe Schatz from Joeprah.com. Joe is a stay-at-home dad of three great girls. And, Joe totally gets that whole poop thing.

Joe led me, and my blog, in bigger and better directions. He made me realize that I had a genuine audience and that lots of people get the poop thing. Joe was a reader who really believed in me. I owe him so much.

I was incredibly proud of him when he started Dad-Blogs.com. He asked me to write a column there and I jumped on board immediately. Then he got me a writing gig at Examiner.com. Unfortunately, after a couple of months, I had to bow out of both because I, quite simply, had too much on my plate. I am still sick about it.

So, when Joe went and wrote a book and asked me to read it, I have to be honest and say that I was kind of nervous. I’ve always related to his stories and loved his writing, but what if, by some itty-bitty chance, I didn’t like it? I couldn’t bear to let him down again.

I put off reading it. Joe e-mailed me. I put it off again and promised him that I would get to it next week. Joe e-mailed me one more time and said he’s going to be on The Tyra Show on February 18th, and if I could just look at the book before then, it would be great.

Here I am on February 17th, and I just finished reading Joe’s book. So sue me, I’m a procrastinator! And, you know what? This book is brilliant.

I’m not saying that because Joe is a friend, who helped me expand my audience, and who I have disappointed (at least three times now). Though, I can understand how you might think that. Trust me, if I didn’t like the book I would have found a way to blow Joe off yet again.

I’m saying that because it is really, truly great. “Daddy, where’s your vagina?” – What I learned as a stay-at-home dad is touching, funny, informative and different. In a totally good way.


Joe talks about everything a parent needs to know, but not the stuff you find in most books. A typical parenting book might tell you how to change a diaper, but Joe’s book mentions the epic nature of an infant’s “up-the-back” poop. I’ve never read about up-the-back poops in any other book, but mercy me have I experienced them.

My daughter’s UTB’s always happened in the middle of the night and I can vividly remember holding her under the running water in the bathtub hoping the poop would run off and down the drain. But, UTB poop is like tar and you have to get your hands dirty. THIS is the kind of thing that new parents need to know about. That you will be wiping poop tar OFF OF YOUR CHILD’S NECK at 3:00 AM.

This book is a must-read for any parent…not just dads. And, because I really want everyone to read it, I am giving away a copy! Just leave a comment here, with a valid e-mail address, before February 24th at noon EST and I will pick a winner at random.

Maybe I can even get Joe to sign it. That is, if he’s still speaking to me.

*UPDATE* Congratulations to HockeymanDad! You’re the lucky winner!

    Comments

  • shelly/rjruff@columbus.rr.com


    I did enjoy the Rage Against The Meshugenah book that you recommended, so I am sure I would love this one as well!

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


    CONGRATS, JOE!

    I love poo.
    I love to write poo.
    I love to read about poo.

    Perfect.

  • JennOB


    My life has revolved around poop, endless questions that you never thought would come out of anyones mouth and more love than you can imagine for almost 7 year…

    I would love to read his book

  • UP


    Can't wait to read it!
    The things my children have said are some of the best memories I'll ever have.

    Where can we get it?

    And congrats JOE!
    Momofali…you must be a great friend to have, avoiding the hurt is part of friendship!

    UP

  • kate


    And who of thought that girls could pee across the room? I think I may have to get this book, time to read? No….but maybe soon.

  • ztah4us@yahoo.com


    Oh yes, the dreaded UTB. My first child had one EVERY time he pooped! Those cute little white outfits never stood a chance. I would love to have a copy of the book!

    Julie in PA

  • Moonshadow


    Love the title! Gotta be a good read with a title like that.

  • Hockeymandad


    That miconium(sp? too lazy to google) business was the first diaper I changed in my life. EVER. Night 1, sometime really late. After that, it was all cake.

    Would like to win the book, way to go Joe!

  • the*4*of*us


    I'll have to tune into Tyra! Thanks for the chance!!

  • surprised mom


    I'm not into the poo thing much anymore, the girls are older. But, I still it think it's funny. I can't wait to read Joe's book! As for Tyra, I wish I could "tape" it, because I won't be home, I'll be at work when it's on here where I live. My daughter promised she'd watch it for me.

    Congratulations, Joe and good luck with the book.

  • Rachael


    Our kid was constipated for his first year, but the upside of that? Only 1 UTB in his entire life. My mom calls them "high back sliders".

  • Jana


    Oh my gosh I laughed sooo loud just now. Poop. Neck. Whats not to crack up about? I am excited about this book how cool! Thanks for the usual crack up and good info.

  • WeaselMomma


    I still have to find out what time and station Tyra is on here.

  • anya


    With a title like that, you know I have to read it!

    Ps. Poop is not funny when it is happening. Maybe after. 😉

  • Jill in Vermont


    The midwife that delivered my daughter's first baby rubbed olive oil all over his bottom before putting on his first diaper. That made those first tar poop diapers a breeze to change. Why didn't I think of that with my three??

  • Misty


    I didn't know he had published a book!!! That's awesome…

    I love you, you are fantastically hilarious!

  • Oscar


    Poop is funny – along with its cousin fart.

    I know the UTB and lets not forget DTL.

    Won't be able to watch – maybe I can DVR.

    oscarstavern@gmail.com

  • Joeprah


    I could learn a lot from someone so humble. Momo, you're a rock star! Thanks for being who you are.

  • Monica


    Yes, it would have been most helpful to know that I'd be wiping poop off their necks. But then again, it's good to keep some things a secret, isn't it?

    Hope I'm the random winner! 🙂

  • Jaina


    Congrats to Joe! This sounds like a wonderful book, I definitely wouldn't mind reading it myself.

  • Heather


    I would love this book because even though I am not a parent (yet), I am aspiring to be one in the coming years, and you are right– UTB's are what *i* need to know! 😉

  • Single Parent Dad


    Awesome, and they say poop sells, or erm, is that something else? 😉

  • Stesha


    Cleaning up-the-back poop takes skill and a hose pipe. I know, because I used one once.

    This sounds like a cool read, and I applaud your friend for writing a book that speaks the truth. It's not all roses…sometimes it's manure.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  • Dawn


    How cool for your friend. Melisa (with one s) sent me over here. I love reading your blog!

    I'll never forget the time that I went shopping and left our newborn son with my husband at home. Hmmm…I got home and hubby had poop on his face! 🙂

  • meleah rebeccah


    Congrats to JOE! And Im definitely picking up a copy of his book!

  • Jamie Willow


    now this I gotta read 🙂

    jwillowb@yahoo.com

  • Speedcat Hollydale


    A book with poop is perfect for the coffee table … count me in!

    Can I enter twice 😉
    Hello from SpeedyCat, here is the emailer

    speedcathollydale@yahoo.com

  • Speedcat Hollydale


    .. notice my email is in BOLD, cauz I want to win more than the others !

  • Sarah


    Sounds like my kind of book – parenting in the trenches (full of poop). Pick me!

  • Me


    The title itself is enough to convince me! If I don't win it, I'm gonna buy it (or at LEAST check it out from the library)

  • Jill in MA


    OMG, up the back poo! My daughter could get poo all the way up her back and yet none in the diaper! In a furniture store, even!

    I'd love to win a copy of this book. jillwilkens@hotmail.com

  • Electrostatic Filter


    Nice very interesting post

  • Debbie


    I love it when a good guy has good things happen! I would love to read this book.
    fourkidsrgreat(at)gmail.com

  • Writers_block


    aprile66043@gmail.com

    Sounds like a great book, and I am glad to see someone is writing about the things most people don't tell you about 🙂

  • The Book Lady Online


    This sounds like a great book. Can't wait to read it.

    motheringwithgrace@yahoo.com

  • Wendy


    Thanks for visiting my blog, Momo Fali. Given your combined infirmities (you and spouse), I'm sure you can relate to that hellish week I had. Tonight the dog escaped the van and had me gimping through filthy puddles trying to retrieve him. I was less than pleased.

    Love a chance at a giveaway (and especially if it is a book about someone in the trenches of the SAH job).

  • Davina


    Mommyssonshines@aol.com

    I just must have a copy. I completely understand the whole 'Kids say the darnedest thing.' My youngest looked at me the other day and said, "mom, does your pee come out of a hole too?" OUT OF NOWHERE!

  • Vegas Princess


    Even though I don't have kids (yet…working on that one with continued vigor) this books sounds hilarious. I would love to win a copy!

    MsVegasPrincess@aol.com

  • Anonymous


    I would LOVE a copy of this booke!!!!

  • Jo Beaufoix


    OMG, I've popped in to Joeprah's a couple of times over the last year and just thought he'd gone, and he was writing, writing, writing. Brilliant. He's such a lovely man and I hope the book does nrilliantly. And Momo, you are a rock star. xx

  • mrsmouthy


    I am just coming off an UTB poop (I'm not just saying that to be funny–it honestly just happened this evening). I am SO buying that book!

  • Jessi


    I was just making a mental note to find more daddy bloggers to read when I stumbled across this post. I read a lot of mommies as it is, but I love the daddy's side too and don't have nearly enough blogs to follow in that area. Dad-blogs.com? Perfect!

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