My family and I visited an indoor water park over the weekend; here is what I learned.
1. If the water in the toddler pool is warmer than the big kids’ pool, there is probably a reason for it.
2. Either having a lot of medical procedures has toughened up my son, or he is immune to pain, because after he got tossed off his raft in the wave pool, knocked over another kid as he tumbled under the water, slid along the ground for five feet and came up bloodied, he got right back on his raft.
3. Going down a slide in a giant family tube is a lot of fun.
4. If your friend is bitter because you’re leaving the water park to go watch Ohio State play in the NCAA tournament and she says, “I hope they lose” and then they do, you’ll hope she doesn’t own your likeness in voodoo form.
5. Teenage girls should wear bigger bathing suits.
6. My son needs his back waxed.
7. I need to lose weight.
8. So do a lot of other people.
9. If your son is 43″ tall and he climbs steps that are the height of his knees, and there are five flights of those steps to get to one of his favorite slides…that won’t stop him from wanting to do it again and again.
10. Kids can go for hours and climb lots of steps on cold pop-tarts alone.
11. Later, they’ll practically inhale an entire Big Boy franchise for lunch.
12. And they’ll sleep peacefully all the way home.