They Don’t Call it a Crush for Nothing

posted by Momo Fali on March 26, 2010

Have you ever had your heart ripped out of your chest, thrown to the floor, then watched as it was stomped on, then a dog comes by and pees on it and another dog comes by and chews it up like rawhide?

That’s what it feels like when you have your first crush and that crush isn’t exactly crushing on you. Not that I would know.

Okay, I know exactly. I liked the same boy from the third grade all the way through junior high. Yes, I know it was a long time to be stuck on the same boy and yes, I know that saying “junior high” makes me sound ancient. That’s because I am.

Let’s be honest. I was not Blair from The Facts of Life. I wore glasses and had short hair, which was permed so I could look just like Annie. You should have heard me during my piano practice when I would belt out show-tunes. I know that all of this makes me sound homely. That’s because I was.

Let me give you some words of wisdom; just because you know all the words to Tomorrow, doesn’t mean the sun will come out. I will never forget lying on my bed, burying my face in my pillow and crying huge tears. The 10 year old boy I liked didn’t like me back! Oh, the pain of it all. The horror! Boys are stupid!

You think the throbbing in your chest means your lungs will close and your heart will cease its beating and no one seems to understand. Your mom wants you to set the dinner table when the world is getting ready to stop. How can she expect you to eat when your throat is closing up?

But, as any good mother would, my mom had a secret weapon. She could always stop my tears by pulling out the big guns. Mini-cheesecake.

Lately I’ve been hoping I don’t have to make mini-cheesecake anytime soon. My 11 year old daughter is at just about the same age I was when the hurt started really hurting. I know that crush isn’t too far away.

Lucky for her, she doesn’t look a thing like Annie.

    Comments

  • Melisa with one S


    Cheesecake can fix ANYTHING.

    Much like duct tape.

    Or something like that.

  • UP


    From 12 to 17 I was "crazy in love" with one girl, she never knew it, and I don't love her anylonger.

    My cheesecake was a Payday Candy Bar!

    UP

  • Kimleonard


    I have some sick satisfaction that my painful, heartbreaking, wonderful crush from grades 7-12 is still single all these years later. If he'd just paid attention back then… 😉

  • Piper of Love


    Boys ARE stupid!!

    Beat that into her brain.

  • Angella


    I still remember my first crush and it was PAINFUL. So were the ones after it.

    It's the one thing I worry about the most as Emily grows up, too.

  • Tara R.


    Mini-cheesecakes could end wars, and boys are stupid. I still hope to brainwash my daughter into believing that.

    I still remember my first crush too (I was about 10yo)… how funny is that.

  • anya


    Oh I remember that time! He was a year older than me and so much more mature – ha ha – and I thought the world revolved around him. I was madly in love throughout junior high and he never even noticed me.

  • AlisonH


    I remember someone taking me aside in jr high and telling me, Jimmy Burns has a crush on you. (Didn't have to add "serious." All crushes were "serious.")

    The thing is, I hadn't ever even heard his name before, and I never once in jr high or even high school later ever shared a class with him. What I couldn't get over was, how did… I mean… *I* was the unrequited-pining one, who was *this* guy?

    He noticed I suddenly knew who he was and started acting shy and sure of rejection and get-away-from-here. Or maybe the guys from my elementary set him straight on what a dweeb I really was.

    Ah memories! Oh joy. Good luck to your daughter! (And tell her the entirety of adulthood is on her side.)

  • WeaselMomma


    Cheesecake is an amazing home remedy. I'm just glad you don't need a prescription.

  • Heather


    and so it begins for you– boys and fighting and then HIGH SCHOOL.

    i wish you luck.

  • Irish Gumbo


    I don't know as you need to start mixing the batter…but you may want to warm up the oven 🙂

  • Smart A$$ Mom


    I've been wishing for 10 years, since the day my daughter was born, to have a secret weapon to dry tears. I always hoped for show shopping, but don't you know she couldn't care less about fashion?

  • meleah rebeccah


    My 13 year old son is in the midst of this exact type of crush and subsequent heartbreak. [poor thing]

    The only things that's been 'helping' him are brownies and going to more guitar lessons!

  • Sue


    I may need that cheesecake recipe….

  • rockle


    Oh, man … I can remember being in my early adolescence, singing "Tomorrow" at the top of my lungs, tears streaming down my face, for many of the same reasons.

    This is probably around the time that my parents got me a Walkman for my birthday.

    I don't recall cheesecake being the nuclear option in our house — I think it was Tastykakes, but still.

    (And I hate to be the one who reminds you that after this phase comes the EMO POETRY.)

    Oh, and boys ARE stupid, even the ones you end up loving forever and marrying. My husband will vouch for this.

  • Oscar


    Never expect anything – what you get is a gift.

    Oh yes, I have been crush crushed, still get it.

    You girls are good at it too!

    be there for her and let her lern on her own.

    Pass a slice over here….

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