No Parking, Baby

posted by Momo Fali on May 14, 2010

This lovely note was plastered to my windshield on Wednesday afternoon. Let’s discuss, shall we?

1) There is no curb in front of his house
2) I parked during a rainstorm
3) My right tires were covering about three inches of his grass, along the street
4) Upon inspection of his yard after reading this love note, I didn’t see a single blade of grass that was smashed and/or out of place

I don’t know what’s worse, being called a moron by someone because of an ever-so-slightly bad parking job, or being called a moron by someone who used a double negative.


  • Tara R.

    What a jerk!

  • WeaselMomma

    Double negative, hmmm…..who's the moron?

  • Kathy

    I had to read that twice. Yeah, the double negative would bother me more. What a cranky neighbor you have.

    p.s. And now I have that song in my head. "No parking on the dance floor!"

  • Vir

    Ha ha, it's like a triple negative, right? What with the "don't" and all? God, there should be a special superhero to put this kind of morons in their own place…

  • Ed

    I don't think he was calling you a moron. I think he was signing his name.

  • Bad Momma

    I'm with Ed. I think he was signing his name.

    I'd print a copy of this post & put it on either his door, mailbox, tree, windshield or perhaps all of the above!

  • Jill

    You should send that to passive-agressive notes!

  • Tom

    I'm with Ed.

    There's a period after "here"

    He isn't calling you a moron, he signed it as moron. With a capital M.

    And is that a happy face underneath?

    Yeah. He's a couple cookies short of a variety pack.

  • Hockeymandad

    Yes, he definitely signed it Moron. The only place where he used proper punctuation.

    Don't take it to heart, but avoid this yahoo at all cost. The wheel's spinning but the hamster died in this one.

  • UP

    Well, it's not even a sentence! Double negative aside, the Queen would be most distressed with the mistreatment of Her English!

    Off with his head!


  • Kiera

    Toms comment had me in tears!!!
    It's so true!
    The punctuation.
    The proper noun.
    There's no doubt about it.
    This mans name is Moron.
    The double negative is inexcusable.

    A man who truly lives up to his name.
    How nice.

  • Kiera

    Upon reading it again it struck me…
    Maybe he wanted you to park on his lawn?
    "If you cant not park on my lawn."
    To me that says, unless you can park on my lawn then don't bother parking here.

    Am I right?

    Of course, he still signed it with his unusual name. This guy is one of a kind.

  • Smart A$$ Mom

    There are some things ingrained in me being a scorpio. Like the instant desire to spell out "Sorry about your lawn" in insecticide poison killing grass

  • Misty

    what a passive-aggressive idiot. hopefully you were visiting elsewhere, and this lovely gent isn't your neighbor…

  • As Cape Cod Turns

    How rude! And to add an insult like a double negative is just mean! Give me the address and I will go stomp on his perfect grass!!!

  • BeautifulWreck

    He is a jack ass and he is stupid.

  • Melisa with one S

    The double negative is definitely the biggest offense here. Let me at him.

  • BusyDad

    Ok, so let me get this straight. "If you CAN'T not park on my lawn" basically means "If you can park on my lawn." I'm assuming he's using "can" to refer to ability, rather than the right to park. Given that, he is trying to say "If you have the ability to park on my lawn, then don't park here."

    Why does he base permission to park on his lawn by one's lack of ability? Does this mean only 8 year olds can park on his lawn?

    Ok then, you simply have to write him a note saying "My son parked the car."

    Then he'll say "ooh ok, that's cool" and then you two can have yourselves a moron party.

    Neighbor relations, I fix em.

  • Aunt Juicebox

    I'd have to see a picture of it, but I believe that strip of grass between the sidewalk and the road actually belongs to the city, you just have to upkeep it. And forget the note, I'd leave a steaming pile of crap on his lawn next time.

  • SurprisedMom

    It seems Mr or Ms Moron was a bit of a coward, too. He had to write a note with a double negative and leave it on your windshield instead of talking to your face to face. He or she is a goof.

  • Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

    The double negative thing – no question.

  • Amie

    As a copywriter/editor, I could offer you my professional opinion on the content of this note…but seems like that's been addressed well enough already.

    So instead, I will pose a question: did Moron mutilate the paper in his outrage over your parking job, or did you mutilate it in your outrage over receiving such a poorly-written missive from a stranger?

  • Colleen - Mommy Always Wins

    Ah, Busy Dad. You're a freakin' genius… 😉

  • mrsmouthy

    Hi, this isn't not your neighbor and just to clarify, it's not you that's not the moron. Now KEEPS OFF MAH GREENY GREENS.

  • AlisonH

    Ah my, does that bring back memories of the creep who screamed at my friend because I'd parked on his side of the street across from her–no grass there, either, just that my car was present and he didn't like it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it. He totally threw a 2-year-old tantrum hissy fit.

    Some people just need to go into the timeout corner without dessert. I'm sorry you got stuck with that guy's co-evil twin.

  • Monica

    The double negative is definitely worse. Plus, it kind of looks like he signed it "Moron." At least he's fessing up.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Um. Whoever wrote that note is the real MORON.

  • Zoeyjane

    Seriously, I would've written a note back. "Dear Moron. May I call you Moron? If you can't not bastardize the English language, then consider stick-man drawings, lest I laugh at you and post your illiterate ramblings on teh internutz."

  • Davina

    Is it me, or does it look like this note has been torn and taped back together! LOL! If it were me, I'd continue to park there. OR I'd play nice and go knock on him door with a plate of cookies and totally apologize… then he'd feel like a complete ass! Just a thought!

    Leave a Comment

    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *