No Interrogation Necessary

posted by Momo Fali on July 19, 2010

My eight year old son has many oddities, however none is quite as evident as his fascination with skin. He loves to touch people and the older, the better. The upper arm flab of elderly women is his clear favorite.

My boy has had sensory issues from the start. As an infant, he hated to be held and only due to countless hours of occupational therapy did that change. Now he can’t keep his hands off of people.

He has always been able to obtain this tactile fix because he is so small, but what people don’t realize is that he’s really just a miniature man. The lady who lets him climb all over her lap forgets that he is an eight year old in the body of a toddler. The kid gets away with murder, I tell you.

We have recently started some new therapy. We brush his skin, we do joint compression and other exercises which are helping him keep his hands to himself. As he always has been, my child is a work in progress.

Most of our friends and family know they have to set boundaries and I do my best to keep him away from bikini clad women. Though, that isn’t hard because I’ve been doing the same thing with my husband for over 15 years. Practice makes perfect, I always say.

We tell my son that everyone has a bubble and that he is not allowed to get close enough to pop it. I sound like I’m off my rocker when I see him eyeing a smooth shoulder or a college co-ed in short-shorts and I act preemptively saying, “Bubble. Bubble! BuuuuuuBBBBBBLE!”

Of course, there are times when he’s bound to fall off the wagon and we are quick to tell him that it’s not okay to invade someone’s space. But, there are still occasions when, oh…let’s say, he might lie on top of our friends’ eight year old daughter. Hypothetically.

Okay, not hypothetically.

We told him that it was unacceptable for him to lie on top of his friends and that you can never touch a girl without permission. This is when his big sister chimed in and said, “Yeah! You can go to jail for that!”

Which is why I shouldn’t have been surprised at my son’s reaction when we ran into my brother-in-law the other night. My brother-in-law the police officer.

At least we know my kid has one redeeming quality…he is honest to a fault. Which was clearly evident when he pulled me down to his level and whispered, “Hey, Mom. You should probably tell him that I lay on girls”.

    Comments

  • Melisa with one S


    OMG, I can't breathe from laughing!

  • abby


    Awesome.

    Oh, brushing and joint compression. I remember those days with Liberty. What a pain. And then I'd have to do it to Lena, too, because she felt left out. That was a big chunk of my day back then. I should probably still do it, but I don't wanna. Kidding!

  • The Urban Cowboy


    I can only imagine the challenges you are faced with, but that last line is priceless.

  • Erika


    I wouldn't be any help with boundaries if I knew you guys. I'm sure I would let him rub all over me because he is just so precious.

  • Misty


    oh my goodness… SO funny… and did the BIL give a stern warning or laugh out loud?

  • Heather


    That is MADE OF WIN. No, really, I am dying over here. You are going to have your hands full with THAT ONE. hahahahahaha.

  • Lynn @ Walking With Scissors


    You've gotta hand it to him. The kid has game. A lot of men spend years trying to figure out how to get a girl to let him lay on her.

  • meleah rebeccah


    Im with Erika. I wouldn't be any help with boundaries if I knew you guys either! He's too adorable and funny. I would never be able to resist!

  • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


    I'm guessing taking him to an old folks home during swim class day is out of the picture.

  • UP


    You have your work cut out for you! And I nearly peed myself laughing!

    I should get that checked!

    UP

  • WeaselMomma


    He's living every 17 year old boys dream and he's cute enough to get away with it.
    That kid always have a good laugh to offer me.

  • Amie


    Yet another reason for Duff to love him…

  • Dysfunctional Mom


    OMG, I am dying laughing. And also, as always, admiring your parenting. You are so understanding with him. My stepson does some of this same stuff and it's so easy to over-react and not realize that it's a sensory thing, not a …ya know, perv thing.

  • WritRams


    This post has so many levels of awesome that it's hard to choose just one…

  • SurprisedMom


    I am laughing too hard to make any sense!

    I love your little boy!

  • Oscar


    Makes all the in process work worth while doen't it!

    He's so cute!

  • Oscar


    This guy has a future!!!

    That is so funny – It's really fun the way kids view things.

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