This is My Brain on Drugs

posted by Momo Fali on September 3, 2010

Much to my husband’s chagrin, I am a Twitter addict. I love to curl up on the couch with my laptop after the kids have gone to bed and read what everyone is doing in 140 characters or less. I don’t know why I like it, but I do.

Another great mystery is why I like to go on Twitter after I take my Ambien. Some people sleep-eat, some people make phone calls, I even know someone who took their dog to the dog park and lost him because she was on Ambien. I feel the need to say it wasn’t me. Anyway, some people do crazy things on that medicine. I just send tweets.

Last night, after my girly part surgery, I went on Twitter on Dilaudid (also know as Hydromorphone). I did NOT take Dilaudid AND Ambien, because then I would be dead.

Here, for your enjoyment, are a few of my Dilaudid tweets…

I’m on Dilaudid,daf; everylook lop;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

@secretagentmama But I’m halluciantiaon in my liviner oom and I’ve having fn. I jusst saw a buffalo

I have to pee and I hoptea I don’t fall asleep in there like I did earlign.

I dind’dt fall saleep in the bathroom PROGRSSS! Now, eating blueberyy bread and I ckind of what to marry kit.

I thought my hsubnad was hust bringing me wi-ne. I was like, “Wahtewa are you CRAWZZAZZZYY?” His handmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm was empty.

I feel asleep on “hand”.

I just said to my husband athat I vfeel like everything I’m telling you is from a dream.. He said, “That’s ture.” I’m really confursted.

@secretagentmama duid you just calle me Jar Jar Binks? Because I think you called me Jar Jar Binks, when clearly I am Yoda.

My head is like a bobble toy right now=============================

That’s not the window!

just asked my husbna if the guy on TV is named, “Major” and he said, “No, it’s Rex”. Dude I was THAT close.

Thank goodness, I’m no longer in pain. Though you can still look forward to the Ambien tweets. I live for your amusement, or as I told a friend earlier…I’m here to confurst you.

    Comments

  • Patty@NYC Girl at Heart


    I am glad you are feeling better. Those are some good tweets! I love the word "confursted" – may have to use that! xo

  • C (Kid Things)


    That is awesome. I'm seriously laughing out loud. Also, because of this, I'm now following you on twitter.

  • Tara R.


    You are awesome when you TUI – Tweet Under the Influence. I worry that I understand you and I'm not… TUI, that is.

  • Soge shirts


    Lol momo I wish I was on twitter when you were TUI. Those were some hilarious tweets.

  • Tom


    Some of my favorite moments on twitter are Momo's TUI episodes. With the first multiple consonant I go pop a bag of Orville's in the microwave and grab a beer. Great stuff.

  • María


    I'm still just frustrated that when I tweet on Ambien I never am as disoriented (ie., HILARIOUS) as you. Pshaw. Not fair!

    Wait, what dosage do you take? I want to be funny!

  • UP


    When I had my coronary bypass surgery in 2003, they put me on morphine…I kept trying to get the cats out of the room…apparently I had it done at the animal hospital!

    UP

    glad ur feeling better!

  • Liz@thisfullhouse


    I missed your TUI and, although I am sorry for your pain at the time (or, anytime, really) you made me squirt coffee out of my nose and, well, that is ALWAYS a good thing 🙂

    (Just so you know, heard about your TUI via SuburbanWow, 'cawse, that's what blogging friends are for!)

  • Millicent


    too funny! I actually felt a bit afraid b/c I had no trouble reading all of that!

  • Kristin


    You are so funny! I love how your brain works while on drugs. hahaha!

  • Heather


    And you are so damn hilarious girlie. Thanks for the entertainment!

  • Zoeyjane


    Oh man. I never hallucinated OR tweeted on Dilaudid. Thank you for being a hilarious pioneer.

  • Jen


    duuuuuuuuuuuude.

  • Oscar


    I don't tweet, but may just for these gems! LOL

  • Sadia


    Giggling at work does not help my professional credibility. Don't stop. 🙂

  • meleah rebeccah


    you're hilarious on drugs!
    I think my favorite tweet was this one:

    "I dind'dt fall saleep in the bathroom PROGRSSS! Now, eating blueberyy bread and I ckind of what to marry kit."

    Ahahhahahahahahhaha

  • Dapoppins


    Oh golly. I hope when I take drugs I can be as funny as you. And, in fear of having my kids want to be this fun they will never be reading, I don't want to give them any ideas.

  • As Cape Cod Turns


    Hope your girly part surgery went well and that you are off the hallucinating drugs and back to the normal Ambien and wine.

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from Twitter Me This - Momo Fali's
    Wednesday, 11 May, 2011

    […] course, there can also be a lot of nonsense on Twitter, as you can see from my Dilaudid tweets and some of these daily updates I […]

  • Trackback from Question of the Day XI - Momo Fali's
    Sunday, 31 July, 2011

    […] it shouldn’t be and “bruising” the nerve, and it hurts so bad that you take three Dilaudid and it still hurts, but OH BOY do you sleep…you know, when you should be working, and you […]

  • Trackback from Day 15 – Come On, Get Happy! - Momo Fali's
    Thursday, 15 November, 2012

    […] clearly contained nachos and don’t remember eating a bit of them. I have also been known to hallucinate so I knew there was a distinct possibility that in a stupor, I suddenly felt the need to order this […]

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