Upgrade

posted by Momo Fali on September 23, 2010

This past Saturday and Sunday mornings were spent running a lot of errands with my two kids. Two kids who, apparently, don’t understand that it’s possible to ride in a back seat without constant bickering and occasional sibling slapping.

After hours upon hours of listening to them argue, my head popped off.

Okay, my head didn’t pop off, but it felt like it would. Maybe that is why I suddenly yelled, “STOPPPPPPP!!!” You know, to relieve all of that pressure.

It was quiet for a moment, then my son said, “I want a new mom.”

I replied, “Why would you say that?”

He said, “Because you yelled.”

After I apologized for *ahem* raising my voice because of two days worth of constant squabble that would make even the most solid brain turn to mush, or make dogs howl, or make ears bleed, I told my son that he shouldn’t wish for a new mom because he might get a mom who yells more, or one who doesn’t read to him, or make him dinner, or love him so much, or…well the list went on and on.

None of that phased him. He was determined to be rid of me.

So, I did what any mom whose head almost popped off would do. I pulled over to an old, run-down house and told my son to go knock on the door and ask for a new mom.

He looked at the home, with its overgrown bushes, tall grass and covered windows and asked, “Can we go see if there’s a new mom at a better house?”

    Comments

  • Melisa with one S


    I love this and I'm proud of you for pulling over!

    (But he's still freaking hilarious.)

  • WeaselMomma


    You are pure awesomeness. Pulling over was brilliant. I just want to know why you would threaten your son by having me replace you as his mom?

  • Sadia


    My mother-in-law pulled the "pull over 'cause you're gonna get it" trick once, when my husband was 10 or so, and she was charged with her own two children and three of her friends' children. One of the friends' children grew up to be our daughters' godmother, and she STILL talks about that event as a formative moment in her upbringing.

  • Patty@NYC Girl at Heart


    Nice move Mom! 🙂
    He's so such a funny little guy and I'm sure he knows no one loves him more than you!

  • Tom


    Yet another reason to love this little guy: he has high standards!

  • Davina


    So I'm wondering how you manage to keep a straight face. I'm sure his sister was trying not to laugh too!

  • AlisonH


    You know you get to embarrass him with this when he's a teenager. Although by then he'll probably be best friends with whoever lives in that house.

  • Kim Hosey


    Ha; love it.

    I hollered the other day to get my son's attention. He held hostage whatever it is I wanted him to do and demanded that I "promise not to yell."

    Which is why my husband came downstairs to me bellowing "If you want to play it like that, I promise I WILL yell!"

  • UP


    Freakin' Awesome Mom I think!

    Congrats on the great parenting.

    UP

  • Millicent


    Ha!!!
    Mine have been arguing so much–driving me nuts!
    I once pulled over and just got out of the car…they freaked out! Not sure what they thought I was going to do, but their reaction made me laugh a lot–then I felt better!

  • Jaina


    Lol…I cannot help but laugh, I just love how his mind works. I hope he realizes how fabulous you truly are. (and I hope the bickering stops)

  • Always Home and Uncool


    Gotta like that the boy has standards.

  • Sarah


    My friends laugh at me because I had this conversation repeatedly from my daughter when she was about 5-6. Finally MY head popped off when we were at basketball league at the YMCA. She wanted a new mom, I marched her into the gym, pointed her at the room full of families and told her to go find a new one – have at it, I said, there's probably a great new mom out there for you, go find her. And I walked out of the gym.

    She followed. Haven't heard that from her now in a couple years. But her sister has started, so it won't be long and I'll be repeating it.

    Well done!

  • Oscar


    That is just too hilarious!!!!

  • meleah rebeccah


    Oh my god! First of all I am totally impressed with your mad awesome parenting skillz for pulling over. But I think I am more impressed with your son's reply!

  • the planet of janet


    i have often offered up the option of a different mother to my kids.

    generally they pick me over the other option.

    generally …

  • Mrs4444


    LOLOLOLOL Again–Hilarious. Thanks.

  • Matty


    He is a determined little bugger, isn't he? LOL

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