I Will Lose this Weight if it Kills Me

posted by Momo Fali on January 20, 2011

For the past 14 years, I have been in an ever-constant battle with my weight.  I blame a lot of it on stress and anxiety.  Those 14 years were full of home renovation, a high-pressure job, a husband who works solely on commission in the bursted bubble of a housing market and two premature babies…one of whom threw in congenital heart disease just for good measure.

So, yes, I’ve been stressed.   But, I won’t deny that a good portion of my jiggling thighs is because I love chocolate.  And beer.  The three of them together equals the perfect storm of cellulite.

The thing I have come to realize, as my 40th birthday nears, is that burdens don’t go away; they just change.  Life is never going to be easy.  It’s time to acknowledge that and work with it, instead of against it.  I don’t want to fight myself anymore.  I want to fight the fat.

Tonight, I completed my first of 36 boot camp sessions.  I was excited, but to tell the truth, I was scared of not being able to walk afterward. 

My friend Melisa is a group fitness instructor and I talked to her just before I went to class.  She told me that because I’m social that I would love the atmosphere, that I would have fun and that I should “embrace the pain”.

What she failed to tell me, is that I should also embrace the vomit.

Apparently, the instructor saw it coming when my beet-red face turned crisp-cotton-white, which is probably when I felt the room spinning.  She stopped the class.  FOR ME.  Which is really not embarrassing at all.  You know, if you’re made of stone.

After she got me a Gatorade, things improved.  Not a lot, but enough for the walls to stand still.  I fought through.  I did not quit.

Then I came home and started typing and searched the internet for a photo of the boot camp to insert in this post.  I typed the name of the workout facility into Google, hit images, and saw this picture…

Thank goodness for that Gatorade.


  • Melisa with one S


    I demand an apology. 🙂

    But you DID NOT QUIT. You embraced it all, even the vomit. Congrats to you: you're moving in the right direction and I'm so proud of you!! Wish I could do boot camp with you!

  • Momo Fali

    Um, hello? Ambien-heads don't remember conversations from lunch, let alone two weeks ago!

  • Melisa with one S


    So no apology anyway, then? Sadness.


  • Momo Fali

    Okay, okay.

    Pardon moi.

  • Caroline

    So did you barf or did you ALMOST barf?

    This is an extremely important question.

  • Momo Fali

    Almost barfed. Also, almost passed out. BUT, DIDN'T! Go me!

  • Sadia

    Go you indeed. And now, I will play a workout DVD from Netflix. I might even do the workout.

  • momwentcrazy.com

    This is similar to something I said to myself today. I'm doing the stupid 30 day shred and I said "I'm going to finish this thing if it kills me."

  • Heather

    I am so proud of you. GO YOU. GOOOOOO YOU GIRL!


  • Lisa

    You are officially a BAD ASS! It must've felt great to finish that class, and to know you're going back. If you make it a slow & steady lifestyle change instead of thinking you have to be perfect NOW, you will prevail.

    I don't know you, but I'm behind you. Not literally. If I was, you'd have seen me in boot camp. I would've been the one calling the paramedics.

    YOU GO, GIRL!! (Yup. I'm sticking with that saying!)

  • WeaselMomma

    You are quite the trooper! Maybe you shouldn't embrace the pain so firmly.

  • Oscar

    Well it seems you DO like to be noticed don't you!

    Good Luck!

  • Amie

    Gee, I can't wait to start my boot camp sessions…vomiting and passing out are two of my most favorite things to do when I work out (excuse me while I wipe the dripping sarcasm off my screen)…

  • Misty

    oh my gosh, this cracked me up… thank goodness for gatorade indeed… (and have I been under a rock? this is the third time, today, that I've read about someone using gatorade when they felt nauseous… )

    boot camp scares the crap out of me. I know a ton of people who have done it but I lack the courage… I really love popcorn and movies though. Think that'll ever become something that helps?

  • Otter Thomas

    Way to hang in there. Good luck with the next 35 sessions.

  • MommyTime

    And now you know that old saying is true: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You go, girl!

  • UP

    Boot camp will get you jump started, but it's a life-style choice. I walk almost daily, work out(ish) a couple of times a week…and although I look Fabulous, I'm not where I want to be…and I'm sure I'll never be satisfied…so, watch out for the speed bumps that set you back…just stay UP for exercise, and it will all melt away.

    Good luck and congrats on the will-power.


  • AlisonH

    Ouch! Take it a little easier than that, please?

  • Millicent

    awesome picture! that would be me rolling out on the stretcher if I had gone!

  • SurprisedMom

    Only 35 more to go. You go girl!

    You've got guts lady!

  • Tom

    Getting wheeled out on a gurney is hard core. That, and I think vomiting provides a pretty good abdominal workout. Anyway – good on you for sticking with it. Can you send a little sample of determination to me in the mail? I could use a dose.

  • Christina

    Glad you survived. And you've given me a good warning: make sure I locate the nearest trash can upon entering the room.

    Now I'm totally nervous about going. What days do you go? I may try to arrange to be in one of your classes so I won't be the only one with a beet red face panting and huffing. United in reducing the jiggle!

  • Ramblin' Red

    hehehe….I can relate to this. Many men from my church have a new respect for me since hearing that I vom'ed during a speed workout (running) with a fellow member, and kept going anyway. They all tell me I'm hardcore now, lol.

    Keep at it and you'll see results 😉

  • Piper of Love

    I don't have the balls to do a boot camp, not at all! I starve myself easier.

    Much respect. Plus, it's already a given that you'll rock it (eventually), because that's what you do. You get anything you set your mind to done.

    Love love

  • Piper of Love

    I don't have the balls to do a boot camp, not at all! I starve myself easier.

    Much respect. Plus, it's already a given that you'll rock it (eventually), because that's what you do. You get anything you set your mind to done.

    Love love

Leave a Comment

Your email is never shared.
Required fields are marked *