He Woman

posted by Momo Fali on June 27, 2011

The other night I was in the shower when my son nearly busted the door down to get into the bathroom. Never mind that we have two other functioning toilets, because when mom is in the shower there is no better time to fill the humid air with the stench of your poo.

I won’t get into the gory details, other than to say the situation involved the earlier consumption of a great deal of mangoes and a kid with sensory processing disorder and a quick gag reflex. I had to get involved.

With the shower curtain wrapped carefully around my body, I tried to reach across the bathroom to help him before mangoes started coming out of his face as well. But, my towel was just a little too far away.

I said, “Hey, buddy. You’re going to have to turn your head the other way for a second so I can reach across the sink. Look over toward the door”

He obliged.

But, as I began to pull the shower curtain away from my body, his head slowly started to turn.

Startled, I yelled, “Hey! Turn around!”

And, equally startled, my son yelled back, “Oh my gosh, Mom! I almost saw your balls!”


  • Melisa


    Crying from the laughing…

  • lceel

    Imagine how traumatized he might have been to realize that you don’t have any.

  • Amie

    I almost shot coffee out of my nose!

  • christy

    Oh. My. God. Funniest thing I’ve read in a LONG time!

    (ps – Hi, I’m Christy; I discovered your tweets and started following you there and here, and love your blog! Hope I get to meet you at BlogHer – it’s my third time attending and I can’t wait!!!)

  • UP

    Again, sit com, manager, career, move over the fat kid on Two and A Half Men, seriously…the kid’s a STAR!


  • tracey - justanothermommy

    Oh Lord. And then you realize it’s time for an anatomy lesson…

  • Lisa

    OMG TOO FUNNY! He is so funny!

  • Kat

    I think I just scared my dog with my howl of laughter. That kid of yours is a hoot!! (This also makes me really glad I have daughters…even if they are crass little girls sometimes…)

  • Kristen


  • Barb DAvis

    And to think Donnie and I knew him before he became famous! A child only a wonderful flower girl deserves!

  • Rachel - A Southern Fairytale

    Oh My Gosh!


  • millicent frick

    OH MY GOSH I am laughing so hard!!!!!! HA!!!!!!

  • always home and uncool

    This is one case in which I will not ask for more details.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Awwwwww!!! I freaking LOVE your son.

  • Heather


    Now that is HILARIOUS.

  • AlisonH

    Save that line for his wedding day…

  • mrsmouthy

    Wait–you’re a DUDE??!

  • kirsty b


    Like total snort inducing LOL.

    I so needed that laugh today.

  • Crimson


    I got coffee up my nose.

    Your son is amazing.


  • Mrs4444

    OMG!!! That kid is HILARIOUS!!

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