There’s a Fungus Amongus

posted by Momo Fali on September 21, 2011

My husband was working in the yard last weekend when he saw me through a window and asked me to come outside. I went out of the front door to find him waving me over to a flower bed. When I joined him, he pointed at the ground and said, “What is that?”

Photo courtesy of The Hiker's Notebook

We both crouched down to get a closer look at the patch of things growing from the mulch. Then we got a whiff of it.

The green, sticky substance on the end smelled like dog poop. My husband pulled one from the ground and tried to put it near my face, you know, for a closer smell. As I ran away, he chased me.

Herein lies the question: Did the house next door take so long to sell because our flower beds smell like poop, because my husband acts like a 12 year old or because it looks like we’re growing male body parts?

Any way you slice it, our new neighbors are going to love it here.

    Comments

  • Irish Gumbo


    Eww. Wonder what it was attached to underground!

  • unmitigated me


    This seems like a sign. A really gross, phallic sign.

    http://www.mom-zombie.com/2011/09/19/phallus-impudicus-or-skip-this-if-youre-eating

    Seriously, do you two know each other?

  • Middle State/MomZombie


    Thanks to Unmitigated, we connect!
    I went out to the yard yesterday and another one had popped up to greet me. I can take comfort in knowing that in middle age at least I turn on members of the fungal community.

    • Momo Fali


      LOL! It must be the season for stinkhorn!

  • lceel


    Apparently, that’s a Gentile fungus.

  • Miss Britt


    Oh my God you are actually growing penii!

    I wonder if it grows into a real boy over time? It figures the first thing to develop is the penis.

    • Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]


      That’s what happens when you bury the body face-up. OR, when you plant the baby egg facing towards the sky. Either way, Momo has issues.

  • meleah rebeccah


    that’s as gross as it is hilarious.

  • Zak


    You are the best pen!s farmer I ever saw.

  • Tara R.


    It’s all fun and games around your house. I can’t even imagine what the seeds to grow those would look like.

  • Amanda


    If we’d witnessed this exchange my husband and I would have done a child-like eye rub and double take before exclaiming, “They’re just like us.” I mean, of course, you and your husband, not the stinky garden schlongs.

  • Carrie


    Ewww!! We had one of those pop up in our yard overnight. At first inspection, I thought it was one of those nerf darts from a little boy’s toy. Then I smelled it because that is what I do, I smell things. Then I ran to the kitchen to wash my hands. So gross!!!!

  • Jill in Vermont


    This is so funny! We found these growing by a stump in our yard this year! I had never seen one before.

  • Karen


    So, does anyone know what it IS???

    • momo fali


      That’s a dog stinkhorn fungus. If you’re pulling them, wear gloves! The smell and the stain do not come off of hands very easily.

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