Why I Own Crutches

posted by Momo Fali on September 12, 2011

The first time it happened I was cutting the grass.

I made a sharp turn with our completely, non-self-propelled lawn mower, my foot slipped off of the curb, rolled under itself and just like that, I had a broken foot. Not sprained, broken. Because, if I’m going to go for it, I go for it all.

The second time I broke it was the most glamorous incident. I was skiing. You know, with those boots that don’t even let you BEND your ankle? Yeah, those. But, it was on a mountain! Okay, not really. It was a hill. In Ohio. Did I mention the boots?

The third time? It was when my daughter was a toddler and I was using an ottoman to block a doorway. If anyone knows ANYTHING about toddlers, it’s that they can’t climb over ottomans! Apparently, some adults can’t either.

The phone rang one day and instead of stepping over my barricade I decided to go all HURDLER on it. My enormous foot didn’t quite clear it and as I fell to the tile floor, I heard a snap. Then there were noises that sounded very much like someone was actually sticking a knife into my foot…via my ears.

The fourth time may have been tonight when I…wait for it…walked out of my back door. See incident #1 again. Roll, snap, elevate, repeat.

I am nothing, if not graceful.

    Comments

  • Melisa


    Your toenails look nice.

  • BEAN


    Gross.

  • maggiemoo


    Maybe you should get a refund from breaks 1,2 and 3. Maybe a steel ankle. Maybe a new foot…

  • Moon HalloranLeady


    Lawdy woman! You and I must be of the same DNA ~ I have done this stuff waaaayyyy too many times as well…ugh…it stinks! Hope you are feeling better as soon as possible. An ouchy mama is never a happy mama 🙁

    hugs
    Moon

  • tracey - justanothermommy


    Good Lord, you are skilled, woman. Hope your foot feels better. Maybe you can have a pimped out cast this time? With glitter?

  • AmazingGreis


    OUCH! Also, good thing you weren’t on a boat!

  • Tara R.


    You have my sincere sympathies. I hope your foot isn’t broken and you’re up and about soon.

  • BusyDad


    We have the same ankle. Except I have severely sprained it as many times (like deep purple and swollen up to the knees). Of course, you have to go and BREAK yours. That’s us, Momo – we do the same things, but you have to go and do it a little bit better.

    • Momo Fali


      Sure…Mr. Bi-Lingual (or more?), ivy-leaguer, Muay-Thaian, illustrating, videographer guy that you are. The only thing I can do better is fall.

  • Heather


    jaysus that sounds AWFUL. and LOOKS awful! i hope you are up and moving in no time!

  • meleah rebeccah


    holy, crap – and OUCH!

  • MaryD


    I think you should also invest in one of those I’ve fallen & I can’t get up devices. Just in case..

  • AlisonH


    Oh, owwww… I’m sorry! And hey, you know what? You’re my kind of person. Toe-tally.

  • UP


    Well, I guess all that money for those ballet lessons was just a waste!

    Feel better soon!

    UP

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