Day 29 – Failing (The Sequel)

posted by Momo Fali on November 29, 2011

Ugh. Well, I tried. I can’t even make up an excuse for last night’s lack of posting, though I would have likely fallen asleep again. I took my Ambien at 10:30pm, made a grocery list, and as I was getting ready to go upstairs my husband said, “You didn’t write a blog post.” I was about 20 minutes into my sleeping-pill haze and I probably wouldn’t have stayed awake long enough to type the title.

Instead of turning my computer back on, I chose to go to bed.

That means I’ve now missed two days out of the the last 29. Dang it. To be that close to a finishing a challenge and not see it through kind of stinks. But, there is always next November…right? *laughs maniacally* *dons straitjacket* *begs to be taken to a padded room with no internet access*

Speaking of padded rooms, I think it’s time that I invested in a happy light. Ohio is gray, yo’. I’m all, “Where’s my Prozac?”

And, my husband is all, “You don’t take Prozac. Here, drink some of my homemade wine.”

But, as good as his moonshine is, it doesn’t make me happy when I look out the window. I would leave Ohio for someplace with bluer skies, if I could convince my husband to do so. In a heartbeat, really. Of course, that would mean tearing my kids out of school and leaving family, including our parents.  Though, if I said, “blue sky”, my 77 year old mom would be jumping into our car, like Luke Duke, to go with us.

I looked at lights for people with Seasonal Affective Disorder today, but they are so ugly. If any of you come across a box of sunshine that doesn’t look like a box of sunshine, please let me know. I feel like having a lamp that is so OBVIOUSLY for depression, would only depress me further. Make it silver-based with a lovely shade and then we’ll talk.

I think that, combined with the moonshine, might just do the trick.

In the meantime, I’m here to make YOU happy! Don’t forget to enter my Bounce and Dove giveaways! Who needs happy lights when there are gift cards involved?

    Comments

  • Melisa


    Why didn’t he write a post FOR YOU? Geez.

  • Varda (SquashedMom)


    My shrink (yeah, I’ve got one – I’m a Jewish New Yorker after all, it’s the law) says I need to get one of those SAD full spectrum lamps, as she sees the peri-menopausal hormones combined with lack of sunshine are getting to me. I was thinking of bedazzling the back shell of it & leaving it turned to the wall with just the pretty showing except for the hour a day it’s in use. But then I’d need to learn how to bedazzle.

    So sorry you missed two days. Now the NaBloPoMo gremlins are going to come carry you away to the underworld — or did you not sign YOUR commitment to blog daily in blood?

  • Paula


    I grew up in Cleveland, went to college in the midwest, and came back home to work after I graduated. I didn’t even realize how depressed I was every fall/winter until I moved to Los Angeles, where the sun shines nearly every day and the sky is mostly blue. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt there – and it was ONLY because of the weather. The rest of my life there mostly sucked and I left after a few years, but I moved someplace that has many sunny days, even in the winter, and it really makes a difference.

  • FireMom


    I’ve considered a lamp before, but you’re right. They’re freaking ugly. Sigh.

  • Michael


    It’s all how you look at it, no?

    28 out of 30 sure sounds like a win to me. Just sayin’…

  • Sarah


    If you get a good suggestion for a “happy light”, please share – my husband needs one too.

    On the other hand, I loved winter in Seattle when it could go 90 days at a stretch without any sign of the sun in the winter. For me, that beats Minnesota – where the sun shines VERY brightly in the winter (and the summer – hey, maybe you should move here!) but it is below zero sometimes for 4-6 weeks at a pop. You want to talk dry skin? Holy hannah.

    Sarah

  • Amanda


    Pssht. It’s okay that you missed a post. Nobody things you failed at anything, mommy.

    It’s so gray here in Pittsburgh, too. I have vivid lurid daydreams all the time about uprooting my family and moving somewhere sunny and warm. It’s not a good sign that it’s only Dec 1 and we’re already feeling this way!

    Let me know if your light helps!

  • Middle State/MomZombie


    Honestly? I don’t know how I’ve made it this far. I’ve had many a night with toothpicks propping open my eyelids as I type anything, just anything at all. And I’m just north of you in Michigan, same gray gloom here. Tired of it already.

  • Amie


    I give you props for not “cheating” with one-word or picture-only posts. To paraphrase Meatloaf, 28 outta 30 ain’t bad (just don’t miss today).

  • meleah rebeccah


    I am glad to hear that you actually got some sleep, instead of writing a blog post. And, if I see a pretty SAD Lamp – I will be sure to let you know!

  • Skuba


    I’ll take Ohio when it means no nasty bugs, no spiders as big as my hand that can jump 6 feet, no poisonous snakes to speak of really, very little tornado’s, really very little snow and the temps are really pretty mild. I would hate to be somewhere that is negative 50 in the winter and 150 in the summer. The only thing we really have to deal with is the cloudy winters and high humidity in the summer. I would suffer through more snow though winter is so much better when the brown is given a nice coat of white to hide it.

  • Millicent


    I hear ya–the skies are getting gray here and I don’t like it 🙁 I’m in MD/PA.
    Prozac doesn’t even help.

  • AlisonH


    I love the soft filtered light of this time of year. My eyes are very lupus-photosensitive, and this is the short season at which I can go outside and not be in instant pain that stays with me all day. That pain is a good thing, because if I stay out in strong UV in summer my vision starts to go (temporarily so far). I say this not in any way to make you feel guilty: I say this to let you know that as dark as it is this time of year, it does have its good side. To me it is a great blessing.

  • Rachel


    I have suffered from SAD for the past 20 years, and I’ve tried several lights. The one I am currently using is by BlueMax lighting, and it was so effective I bought one for work, as well.
    http://www.bluemaxlighting.com/bluemax_lamps_31_ctg.htm
    The silver (“nickel”) lamps cost a bit more than the black or white ones, but I think it looks very nice on my desk. It’s dimmable, too!

    These are the other ones I have tried.

    The SADellite is effective, but very intense, and it bothered my eyes. I had it for years, and replaced the bulbs. [It is also humungous and ugly, so you likely won’t care for it.] After a while, other products started coming on the market, so I switched. They have other products that might work for you, though.
    http://www.northernlighttechnologies.com/#!__products

    This one is worthless. Avoid.
    http://www.amazon.com/Verilux-HappyLite-Deluxe-Sunshine-Simulator/dp/B0001ATEJ2

    Last but not least, I have a dawn simulator set-up in my bedroom that is quite effective, but not very portable, so I recently purchased a Philips Wake-Up Light for nearby overnights. It is, for the price, the best sunrise alarm I’ve ever seen. So bright! It has variable settings so you can play with how bright you need it to go to wake you up. This is the model I have; they have a few others.
    http://www.usa.philips.com/c/light-therapy/hf3470_60/prd/en/

    Note: Dawn simulation is not SAD treatment (you need bright light therapy for this), but it makes it SO MUCH MORE pleasant to wake up!

    I hope these suggestions help.

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