1. If you see that the wind has blown leaves over every square inch of your yard, it will rain before you have a chance to bag them.
2. When you go for a run and your Albuterol canister is empty, your asthma attack might seem a lot worse than normal.
3. Because it is.
4. Out of desperation, you might drink a beer to calm yourself down.
5. Well, half a beer. Then use the other half to make beer-can chicken on your grill!
6. You’re efficient like that.
7. When you’ve been on your feet, cleaning, making dinner and doing laundry for hours and you finally sit down with everything you need within reach (cell phone, home phone, laptop, steno pad, pen, glasses and books…see efficient statement, above) you might spill a cup of water on half of it.
8. When you’re 40, you will find hair growing out of places you never did before. Like your chin, and your neck and your ears.
9. You also might find that running three miles, three times a week for over a month, results in a three pound weight GAIN.
10. Which may make you want to burn the Halloween candy.
11. Right after you eat that Twix bar.