Man Cold

posted by Momo Fali on January 5, 2012

My husband has a cold. That noise you just heard was the collective groan of wives all over the world. That’s right, it’s the dreaded Man Cold.

In my husband’s defense, he rarely gets sick. He doesn’t have the combined history of asthma, pneumonia, meningitis and sinus infections like I do. And, people, I’m just scratching the surface of my ailments. Truly.

He isn’t used to the headache, cough and all-around nastiness he feels…and I’m not used to being around it. Especially the part about how he can’t breathe through his nose which means he snores like there are real-live lumberjacks sawing logs right next to me. And, my husband just grew a full beard, so if he puts on a plaid shirt I might just mistake him for one.

He has been kind enough to sleep on the couch for the last two nights, which leaves me free to take an Ambien and fold my adjustable bed into the shape of a taco and sleep like a baby. That part is kind of awesome. My husband doesn’t even like it when the bed has a slight roll (or, what he refers to as its golf-green shape). He likes the mattress to be flat. BOOOR-ING!

But, although I have plopped myself onto the middle of the mattress, kept the light on my side-table shining so that I can read magazines or paint my nails, listened to the TV without having to cup my hand behind my ear, and have sat in a half-taco while I type this blog post, I still hope he feels better soon.

Because that man-cold is a brutal beast. Just ask all of the wives who groaned.


  • Kristina Schafer

    I was just discussing the man-cold with my husband last night (he has one right now too). He claims that the man-cold is so much worse because “men never get sick, when we do get sick it has to be a really bad cold. Women catch any weak little cold”. I rolled my eyes and threw a cough drop at him.

  • MaryD

    I’ve never dated whiny men. I had the type of dad who went to work with shingles…so. Anyway. I loved the half taco image.~Mary

  • Deb

    My hubby has it too!!! I feel your pain!! I’m trying to resist the urge to drink heavily so I can help him through it, but the constant whining is making it realllllly tough!!! I love him more than life itself, but ohhhhhh when he is sick……. Yep, I feel your pain!!

  • Lynne

    Too funny. And, true. My husband is not a very good sick person either…it involves lots of sleeping and shuffling about in a bathrobe while cranking the furnace up and being hungry but not wanting anything we currently have in the house. He’s usually very easygoing, but a tiny cold sends him into a tailspin.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Awww. I hope your hubby feels better soon, but I am very happy YOU are enjoying having the whole bed to yourself!

  • Kate Coveny Hood

    What always impresses me is how my husband is able to pull it together for work when he’s on death’s doorstep. Yet if it’s the weekend, he can’t get out of bed. I think the last time I spent the day in bed was after my hernia surgery. Gender roles are awesome.

    Hope he feels better soon. Enjoy your taco!

  • Karen at Pen in Hand

    Hahaha! You’re either extraordinarily lucky, OR you’re forgetting the best part: MASSIVE COMPLAINING. What? Your husband doesn’t keen like an injured animal during his rare colds? My husband also gets them less frequently than I do — but ohhh, the wailing. The gnashing of teeth…

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