Siri-ously Impolite

posted by Momo Fali on May 17, 2013

I don’t text and drive, not because it’s illegal, but because it’s really dumb. I occasionally read texts at stoplights, but that’s only because I am frequently parked at one particular light which lasts two full minutes.

That doesn’t seem very long, until you’re actually sitting there. It’s long. Last week, I applied all of my makeup while sitting at that light. I even curled my eyelashes. Don’t judge me.

If a text is urgent I will reply using Siri (yes Mom, texts can be urgent when you work on Twitter and you have a tweet about quilting about to go up in the middle of a national disaster…and, this is not to say that quilting isn’t important, because it is…to quilters).

Sometimes, though, Siri doesn’t cooperate. In fact, she’s taken to insulting me.


So I told my daughter to snap a picture of the screen so I could tattle on my iPhone like any adult would do, then I tried again.



Clearly, Siri has selective hearing which makes her a lot like my children. And, my dog. I may as well ask her to clean her room, or unload the dishwasher, or stop rolling in dead animals.

But I will not cave. I will not text while driving even though I kind of want to just to show Siri that I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HER and her lack of help.

At least the quilters are happy.


  • Amie

    I get in fights with Siri on my iPad every time I try to use her. I think she’s purposefully antagonistic.

    • Momo

      See? She’s my husband, too!

      • Amie


  • Toni

    I haven’t met her yet and now not sure I want to…

  • tara

    Hahahah what a bitch. Siri, not you. 🙂

  • Melisa

    Huh. Seems like Siri might ave hit the teen years.

  • cardinal

    i asked siri to find the nearest starbucks and she told me “profanity is unnecessary”…ummmmm

  • AlisonH

    Ohmygosh. I forgot about Siri. I have expensive new much-improved hearing aids–maybe I could actually find out if she’ll cooperate with me!

    When we were shopping for phones, I could hear Siri on the demo phone at the store. Bought the Iphone 4s, took it home, never made heads or tails out of it again enough to be in any way useful. That was 17 months ago–I had simply forgotten the whole thing existed, and I’m about to travel to a city I don’t know well. Thank you!

    Uh oh, I’m in for it now…

  • Always Home and Uncool

    I keep asking Siri to talk dirty to me. The best I get is “compost, peat moss, top soil.”

  • meleah rebeccah

    Oh yes. I have gotten the attitude wrath from Siri too!

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